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Johnny Rotten Dialogues: Mommy gets Bullied

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by Johnny Rotten, Feb 24, 2014.

  1. Hi I am new to doing dialogues and to the forum. This is my first crack at a dialogue and a series. The series is based on an Idea from omegami where a mother has a series of encounters with the bully of her child. Also this first instalment is reworking of Jtrains original bully dialogue so the credit goes to him for the original material, also some of his lines may still be in there. This is just a rough draft so suggestions and criticism is welcomed.

    Mommy Gets Bullied will most likely be a 3 or 4 part series following a mom that's confronting her daughter's bully, with the last instalment likely featuring the daughter being forced by her mother to "confront" the bully

    Attached Files:

  2. EpicDT-Hunter

    EpicDT-Hunter Potential Patron

    Sep 19, 2013
    Likes Received:

    1.Read what you write, your dialogue makes no sence. Sometimes you call her mom for exemple.

    2.Use the dialoguechecker to prevent mistakes and disfunctionality.

    3.Read the dialogue guids listed on top of the dialogue-section. So you can learn how to pretend permanent introrepitition for example.

    4.Test your dialogues before posting.
  3. isaac42

    isaac42 Potential Patron

    May 3, 2013
    Likes Received:
    intro:"You want me to bully your throat instead? .... Okay It's a deal"{"style":"Him","next":"intro"}
    intro:"You're *YOU* that boy that's been bullying my daughter
    [ARMS_HIS_LEGS][TAP_HANDS]Look, I love my daughter and will do what ever it takes to protect her....[WINCE][CLENCH_TEETH] so if I were to let you take...[ARMS_BACK] some of that frustration out on me...[ADD_TEARS] would you leave her alone?"
    This will not work. I think you want her line to start and them have him respond, right? You'll have to do it like this:
    intro:"Her talk[intro1]"
    intro1:"His talk"{"style":"him"}
    or with your "next" snippet it would have to look like this I guess:
    intro2:"his bla"{"style":"him"}