My First Dialogue attempt..... How is it? (1 Viewer)

[Crispy]

Needs SDTDialogueActionsv4.02 to run fully but will play in Vanilla.

Kinda funny, Little sexy, just like i like it. Give it a try, it cant hurt..... you that is.... her not so much.

It needs work but i got as far as i could with it for the moment will return with time.

EDIT: and the file wont upload... fml forever the blank first submission lol, also fuck it imma just copy paste, it in a reply.

EDIT2: WHOO! Got it to post regular YaY!!! Much Thanks to DrZombi for the advise on the flash up-loader, Also you knew i am on chrome... wizard.... And Will update when i have time works been hell this week last night i just said Fuck it and posted before rational thought got a hold of meh.

 

[DrZombi]

I like this funny approach but before I really test the dialogue, I just would like to add a technical note:

1) Maybe you could not upload because of a browser problem ? I had the same with Chrome on some computers. You should give a try to IE (OMG did I said this ?). You also can have a look to your profile account, there's an option to disable the flash uploader.

2) I may be wrong but at first sight, I'd say that many lines of your dialogue won't play. Did you test it ? Lines like vigorous, pull_off and held are usually extremely hard to trigger in Speak Style because they die in the queue before she has the opportunity to have her mouth free :)

 

[Pim_gd]

This dialogue needs checking with the checker, many of the triggers used are not properly capitalized and there's a couple syntax errors in there

 

[Crispy]

No idea why it wouldn't post. As I was pretty drunk last night...... and i also ran it through the checker last night at least the version i have, again drunk last night so.... yeah. Saw errors couldn't figure out what they meant.
Most of the lines worked when i personalty tried it, and some of them you have to try to get to trigger but none that wouldn't work for me. I also do said action like vigorous, pull_off and held and the rest, and then either turn auto off and have the mouse placed so she can fully back off and speak. Other wise you don't hear the line properly.
But yeah i fucked around with everything being thoughts and his , but it just didn't feel the same to me.
I would add that i use mods that may have led to some working better in my situation.

 

[Pim_gd]

No idea why it wouldn't post. As I was pretty drunk last night...... and i also ran it through the checker last night at least the version i have, again drunk last night so.... yeah. Saw errors couldn't figure out what they meant.
Most of the lines worked when i personalty tried it, and some of them you have to try to get to trigger but none that wouldn't work for me. I also do said action like vigorous, pull_off and held and the rest, and then either turn auto off and have the mouse placed so she can fully back off and speak. Other wise you don't hear the line properly.
But yeah i fucked around with everything being thoughts and his , but it just didn't feel the same to me.
I would add that i use mods that may have led to some working better in my situation.

Alright then.

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 9 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 9: cum_in_mouth:" '-Blows cum bubble-' 'POP' [SHOCK][BLINK]......... [Cough] I didnt think that would actually happen......"

Cough needs to capitalized, triggers which are not line-references (I prefer to call triggers which do things action-triggers a la [COUGH] and [LOOK_UP] etc and triggers which are for going to another line line-reference triggers.) pretty much always need to be ALL CAPS.

Syntax - Minor: Found a probable illegal colon on line 17, col 142. Replace colons in dialogue lines with %3A.
Line 17: cum_in_nose:" [WINCE][GAG][cough] YOU WANNA SEE AN ANGRY FUCKING DRAGON MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! (Bites Down) [AUTO_OFF][PULL_OFF][cum_in_nose2:]"{"style":"Thought"}

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([cum_in_nose2:]) on line 17 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 17: cum_in_nose:" [WINCE][GAG][cough] YOU WANNA SEE AN ANGRY FUCKING DRAGON MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! (Bites Down) [AUTO_OFF][PULL_OFF][cum_in_nose2:]"{"style":"Thought"}

Line Usage - Major: Line 18 is unused!
Line 18: cum_in_nose2:" [PULL_OFF][AUTO_OFF][WINCE][GAG][cough] WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK..... well as amusing as  that was... for you....MY nose is for breathing,  Not YOUR personal cum geysers."

Three issues, 1 problem: You accidentally added a colon to your line-reference trigger. Take it out, then it should redirect to cum_in_nose2 just fine.

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([OH]) on line 24 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 24: cum_in_throat:" [GAG][OH] Oh! [cough] If i had known you were saving THAT much cum for me.ББББББББББ ББББББББББ I would have told you to cover my face,.БББ.БББ.БББtits.БББ.БББ.ББББ And proably the rest of me,[GAG]. Seriously was that, like [cough] what a weeks worth?"

[OH] is not a trigger. Try [OH_HARD] or [OH_SOFT].

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Drool]) on line 26 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 26: cum_in_throat:"[cough][cough] [PULL_OFF] WOW.....*YOU* [GAG] ББББББББББ that was a huge load...ББББББББББ do you ever not cum buckets?[cough][Drool] "

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 27 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 27: cum_in_throat:"[WINCE][Cough] Does filling  *MY* throat with cum tell it spills out please you?..... [SMILE] I know it does."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 28 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 28: cum_in_throat:"[Cough] *YOU*.... you're the best.... i want you to cum that much in my pussy later, wont you please?"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Gag]) on line 44 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 44: drool:" [Gag][cough] No one cums this much im telling you somethings wrong with you.БББ.БББ.БББ.  or maybe something special who knows!"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Gag]) on line 45 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 45: drool:" [Gag]Do you like it running down my lips.......[cough][DROOL]ББББББ and dripping on my tits? "

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Gag]) on line 46 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 46: drool:" [Gag][cough] [DROOL]I tryed to swallow, [cough][DROOL]...ББББББ and I failed........[DROOL] Miserably....."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Gag]) on line 47 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 47: drool:" [Gag][cough] What can i say, [cough] it tasted so good i just HAD to taste it again?ББББББ Ya buing it?ББББББ [Cough] Yeah me neither."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 47 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 47: drool:" [Gag][cough] What can i say, [cough] it tasted so good i just HAD to taste it again?ББББББ Ya buing it?ББББББ [Cough] Yeah me neither."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Gag]) on line 48 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 48: drool:" [Gag][cough][oh] [GAG].... oh no,[DROOL],[Cough]ББББББ...i Can't...ББББББ[DROOL][Cough]...keep...[DROOL], it down.[DROOL][Cough]ББББББ."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([oh]) on line 48 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 48: drool:" [Gag][cough][oh] [GAG].... oh no,[DROOL],[Cough]ББББББ...i Can't...ББББББ[DROOL][Cough]...keep...[DROOL], it down.[DROOL][Cough]ББББББ."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 48 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 48: drool:" [Gag][cough][oh] [GAG].... oh no,[DROOL],[Cough]ББББББ...i Can't...ББББББ[DROOL][Cough]...keep...[DROOL], it down.[DROOL][Cough]ББББББ."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 48 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 48: drool:" [Gag][cough][oh] [GAG].... oh no,[DROOL],[Cough]ББББББ...i Can't...ББББББ[DROOL][Cough]...keep...[DROOL], it down.[DROOL][Cough]ББББББ."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 48 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 48: drool:" [Gag][cough][oh] [GAG].... oh no,[DROOL],[Cough]ББББББ...i Can't...ББББББ[DROOL][Cough]...keep...[DROOL], it down.[DROOL][Cough]ББББББ."

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Cough]) on line 53 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 53: swallow:"[Cough]UGH! so thick....БББББББББ SO ya know the feeling of a pill thats stuck halfway down?,...ББББББ that, plus its the consistancy of snot....."

capitalization issues again

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_ANGRY]) on line 54 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 54: swallow:" (Gargle) [SWALLOW] Yummy yummy cum for my tummy![SWALLOW].ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ..Why are you looking at me like that?.ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ [SHOCK] [MOOD_ANGRY] WHAT?.ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ.. Look you're to blame i used to find the taste revolting.ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ. .ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ."

Try [ANGRY_MOOD].

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 56. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 56: swallow:" Ya know eventually im going to have an even Fatter ass thanks to your cum.

You missed a double quote. Looks like you forgot to put one at the end of the line. This is one instance where this line WILL NOT get loaded by SDT. So this line WILL NOT play fine.

Line Usage - Major: Line 74 is unused!
Line 74: intro1:" Well,ББББББББББББ here we are again,[ANGRY_MOOD]ББББББББ the usual i presume?БББББББББ... Quality time spent facefucking my semi concious body?БББББББББ [HAPPY_MOOD] You know I Wouldnt have it any other way.ББББББББББББББББББ You really know how to make a girl happy!. [intro2]"

Kinda weird, but look at the intro line:

intro: '[AUTO_OFF] Fancy runing into you in a place like this *YOU*.................ББББББББББББББББББББ    No seriously why this place?ББББББББББББББББ[intro1]"

You accidentally put a space and a single quote after intro:. Remove the space and put a double quote instead, or SDT will not parse your line.

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 76. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 76: intro3:"[OPEN_EYES]ББББББ[LOOK_UP]ББББББAnd Just so we're clear. Face,ББББББ.... TitsББББББ...., ThroatББББББ,.....or even on my Ass are all fine.....ББББББББББББ  If it gets in my hair or  my eye's,ББББББ I WILL BITE.[WINCE] Understand?]ББББББББББ Good.[AUTO_SELF][AUTO_ON]"

Syntax - Major: Missing trigger start of a trigger on line 76, col 237. This indicates a coding error.
Line 76: intro3:"[OPEN_EYES]ББББББ[LOOK_UP]ББББББAnd Just so we're clear. Face,ББББББ.... TitsББББББ...., ThroatББББББ,.....or even on my Ass are all fine.....ББББББББББББ  If it gets in my hair or  my eye's,ББББББ I WILL BITE.[WINCE] Understand?]ББББББББББ Good.[AUTO_SELF][AUTO_ON]"

You accidentally added a ] extra.

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("My") in a variable insertion (*My*) on line 88, col 68, near "(...) stud.*My* (...)".
Line 88: resistance:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][AUTO_OFF][PULL_OFF] Ease off their stud.*My* is willing but her throats not quite ready for that much sudden girth.[AUTO_ON]"

More capitalization errors. Try MY.

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_HAPPY]) on line 99 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 99: general:" So [MOOD_HAPPY][LOOK_UP] do you like it better when i'm Happly sucking on your dick, eagerly awaiting my treat??ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ. Or [MOOD_ANGRY][LOOK_DOWN] do you prefer me as  the meanest, cross-eyed, tip-bittin bitch to ever have to suck your worthless, miserable, ugly dick!??"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_ANGRY]) on line 99 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 99: general:" So [MOOD_HAPPY][LOOK_UP] do you like it better when i'm Happly sucking on your dick, eagerly awaiting my treat??ББ.ББ.ББ.ББ. Or [MOOD_ANGRY][LOOK_DOWN] do you prefer me as  the meanest, cross-eyed, tip-bittin bitch to ever have to suck your worthless, miserable, ugly dick!??"

That'd be [HAPPY_MOOD] and [ANGRY_MOOD].

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Continue5]) on line 109 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 109: choking:" Who knew i could hold my breath this long?!..... Umm!.... Hey!....[ANGRY_MOOD]UMM HELLO!! Do you not see me choking?[PULL_OFF][PULL_OFF][AUTO_OFF][Continue5]"{"style":"Thought"}

Line Usage - Major: Line 111 is unused!
Line 111: continue5:"[AUTO_OFF][PULL_OFF][GAG] FUCK,... that was....., if i hadnt LOVED that so much ..... i might have bitten down. [WINCE] RAWR! "

Yes, line names are case-sensitive. Rename the line-reference trigger to [continue5].

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 121. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 121: restart:" Again?, well im not one to leave my fans waiting and well how can i say no to that face?.... ББББББББББББББ When its not perma-stuck all scrunched up in orgasm face, HAha... what you dont agree MR.БББББББББ AAUUGHHGББББББ?""

Syntax - Major: More than 2 double quotes were found on line 121, but the line didn't have lineattributes. Did you accidentally put a double quote (") in the line?
If you want to have double quotes in your line, you should replace them with %22. SDT will replace %22 with " when playing the dialogue, but it won't interfere with loading the dialogue.
If you were to keep the double quotes in the line as it is now, the line will be cut short after the second double quote. There's likely an "excess characters" issue for this line as well - that's what will get cut off.
Line 121: restart:" Again?, well im not one to leave my fans waiting and well how can i say no to that face?.... ББББББББББББББ When its not perma-stuck all scrunched up in orgasm face, HAha... what you dont agree MR.БББББББББ AAUUGHHGББББББ?""

Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (") after line attributes on line 121. This indicates a syntax error.
Line 121: restart:" Again?, well im not one to leave my fans waiting and well how can i say no to that face?.... ББББББББББББББ When its not perma-stuck all scrunched up in orgasm face, HAha... what you dont agree MR.БББББББББ AAUUGHHGББББББ?""

I don't think you even bothered reading this. Try reading it. Basically, you put two double quotes at the end of the line. The line may or may not play properly.

Syntax - Major: Excess characters ( ) between linename and line content on line 129. This indicates a syntax error.
Excess characters between the linename and line content means the line will be ignored by SDT.
Line 129: first_throat: "[PULL_OFF]Your dick is  actually bigger than it looked.......ББББББsomehow.ББББББББББББББ I was starting to get worryed it wouldnt fit......,  but silly me........   [first_throat1]"

As per the explanation, this line will not be loaded because there's a space between the colon ( : ) and the first double quote. Remove the space and the line will work fine.

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 139. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 139, col 52.
SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Syntax - Major: Probable nested triggers on line 139, col 53. This indicates a coding error.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([Close_EYES]) on line 139 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([ [WINCE]) on line 139 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([ClOSE_EYES]) on line 139 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([OHH]) on line 139 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 139: cum_on_face:"  [SHOCK]  Eek![Close_EYES][ADD_TEARS][ [WINCE] Remember[ADD_TEARS] Anywhere[ADD_TEARS] but [ADD_TEARS]the [ADD_TEARS]eyes![ClOSE_EYES][WINCE].OHH! [OHH]ББББББ or my hair![WINCE] [ADD_TEARS]ohh![CLOSE_EYES][ADD_TEARS] ББББББББББББББББББББББББ"

Check your triggers. Some are missing capitalization, and I think you have an extra [ in there.

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([EJACULTE]) on line 161 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 161: lick_penis:" 'Lick' Yummy! if i keep licking will i find out how many licks it takes to get to the center of your dick? lets find out...   ONE 'LICK' TWO 'LICK' THREE, ' Licks and Draws Teeth across tip'. [PULL_OFF] [EJACULTE] [OH_HARD] OH! well i guess ill never find out now."

You made a typo.

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 165. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 165: vigorous:" [PULL_OFF] Now that ya got it this far in , time to escalate this situation, dont hold back,  face fuck me. [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]

Another missing double quote.

 

[DrZombi]

Wow ! Many thanks to Pim_gd for taking time to correct peoples' dialogues !

C Crispy : If you want to provide good working dialogues to the community, you definitely should use DialogueCheckers. You can now see how useful it is ! And if you want to avoid all those kind of syntax errors right from the writing, you should think about giving a try to Notepad++. Pim_gd and myself did create some syntax coloration files for Notepad++ which will help you highlight important keywords and better see when a trigger does not exist (for example). (have a look at our signatures, you'll find them)