Dynamic Girlfriend (1 Viewer)

[CGma]

Update 1_8_1

-Narrator is removed and replaced by a male dialogue

Update 1_8

-Secrets of Pleasure added
-Self-loath instances added
-Horny instances added
-More challenging for Girlfriend to attain an orgasm
-Graphical bug with body parts fixed

Update 1_7

-Various new lines of dialogue

Update 1_6

-More adapted arm position according to mood swings and to weather she is held or not.
-Contains now more than 1000 lines of dialogue.
-Added more pull_off lines.
-Added more restart lines.
-Added more hand-job lines.
-Added more pre_cum lines.
-Various other corrections.


---


Dynamic girlfriend can now attain orgasms by self stimulating. Listen to her and she'll be showing you how it's done.

The dynamic aspect is referring to the moods that can be changed according to your actions.

As you turn her On, indicators will be displayed through the "thought" bubble, whether she is;

- Stimulated
- Lubricating
- Orgasming

As well as 3 Turn Off indicators;

- Tired
- Worried
- Scared


Get her stimulated by letting her use her tongue to lick, or pull her up to have her give you a hand-job.



---



Angry Mood

The angry mood is the highest level of unwillingness. She will be counter-productive, moody and vocal about it. Some features won't be attainable(although there are more than enough of dialogues on that mood as well) and it is also the mood where she will sometimes tell you about what to do to please her. When she gives you that speech, it means that you've been behaving badly.

Normal Mood

The normal mood is the transition between the happy and the angry. For that reason, it is a state where she values her self-worth much more than on the happy mood. It is also a stage where she will ask stupid questions and will sometimes seem indecisive about what to do. From that mood, it is then slightly more probable to turn her off than on.

Happy Mood

The happy mood is your girlfriend being completely enticed and trusting you in about everything you do, although it is still possible to try her patience. Meaning that around 1 time out of 3, she will judge a brutal action as being difficult, and sometimes a turn off.

Ahegao Mood

She will now and then reach that mood when her stimulation is at highest rank. On that mood, she will be inclined to attain an orgasm.


---



I've been working on this way too long, but I'll keep updating it, as it can be improved. There might be typos, bugs and stuff. Feel free to point them out.

Leave your comments and I hope you enjoy this SDT dialogue!

 

[cretin]

Don't often use this word, but okay: "incredible."

Epic job. Only found one typo so far: "slwo" for "slow." And she dropped back to the intro a couple times through it; not sure how that happened.

 

[Pim_gd]

DialogueChecker finds 8 bugs with your dialogue.
I suggest fixing these bugs:

Double trigger opener on line 93, col 63

Line 93: pull_off:"[ARMS_LEGS][ANGRY_MOOD][SWALLOW]Be nice...[OPEN_EYES][[BLINK]I know[NORMAL_MOOD] you can....[CLOSE_EYES]"{"held":"true","mood":"Normal"}



An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 93. This could indicate a coding error.

Line 93: pull_off:"[ARMS_LEGS][ANGRY_MOOD][SWALLOW]Be nice...[OPEN_EYES][[BLINK]I know[NORMAL_MOOD] you can....[CLOSE_EYES]"{"held":"true","mood":"Normal"}



Usage of colon in dialogue line or erroneous space before dialogue line on line 263, col 31

Line 263: upset_c_o_f9:"FINALLY [LOOK_UP]: I'm a pretty complicated girl.[BLINK] Let's say that I don't always know what I want. [CLOSE_EYES]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f10"}



Usage of colon in dialogue line or erroneous space before dialogue line on line 790, col 86

Line 790: upset_c_o_f2:"FIRST, [LOOK_DOWN]you have to [LOOK_UP]pay[BLINK] attention to my MOODS : ......[WINCE]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f3"}



Probable illegal colon usage on line 790, col 85

Line 790: upset_c_o_f2:"FIRST, [LOOK_DOWN]you have to [LOOK_UP]pay[BLINK] attention to my MOODS : ......[WINCE]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f3"}



Usage of colon in dialogue line or erroneous space before dialogue line on line 791, col 28

Line 791: upset_c_o_f5:"[SHOCK]SECOND : [ARMS_HIS_LEGS]There are ways to change my mood. You know... [BLINK]doing things that I like helps to improve it! [HAPPY_MOOD]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f6"}



Probable illegal colon usage on line 791, col 27

Line 791: upset_c_o_f5:"[SHOCK]SECOND : [ARMS_HIS_LEGS]There are ways to change my mood. You know... [BLINK]doing things that I like helps to improve it! [HAPPY_MOOD]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f6"}



Usage of colon in dialogue line or erroneous space before dialogue line on line 819, col 25

Line 819: upset_c_o_f6:"For example: I LOVE[CLOSE_EYES] to lick your cock.[OPEN_EYES]....... I think it's sweet ...[LOOK_UP][BLINK][LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f7"}

That's just in regards to syntax - that's what will make the dialogue break ingame.

 

[CGma]

Don't often use this word, but okay: "incredible."

Epic job. Only found one typo so far: "slwo" for "slow." And she dropped back to the intro a couple times through it; not sure how that happened.

The intro triggers back when you wait(general) for a while and that she is in normal or angry mood. It is somewhat a way to remind that you can pull her up for hand job, or pull her down for release. That being said, maybe I need to put the trigger on a smaller ratio. Thanks for your comment.

DialogueChecker finds 8 bugs with your dialogue.

That's just in regards to syntax - that's what will make the dialogue break ingame.

That dialogue checker is useful, I'll upload an updated version with correction soon. Thank you.

 

[TDream]

This is pretty good nice work.

 

[Dotar]

this is amazing, hope to see more from you :)

 

[CGma]

Thank you Dotar and TDream for your feedbacks.

I've attached an updated version in the OP with corrected typos and bugs. There's also a little more than 20 new lines of dialogue added.

 

[isaac42]

This one's really good too =). But I'm getting a couple problems:

I'm unable to leave handjobmode voluntarily
When in a happy mood I seem to drop way too fast into the angry mood without any indication from what is written
When in a very bad mood/very angry, I can't leave it any longer.

I mean, when she's really angry and tells me to do something she likes, or that she doesn't like being held, I try to either let go of her/make her lick the tip/make her go into handjob mode, but she always says "What?" or "... ...". Kinda confused what else you thought I could do then...?

Also, don't know if it's possible, but if you set her to move on her own/ release the grip, it doesn't make a lot of sense, that she gets angry for being to rough. maybe you can change something there?

 

[stang]

This has to be the best dialogue here!Thanks for all the hard work you obviously put into it ;D ;D

 

[xkwizit]

Brilliant!

 

[cookiemonste]

Brilliant, nothing more to say.

 

[T0mcat]

Nice dialgue..

Some critics though:

- why do you have all these initial_settings:"seventeen":"false","fourteen":"false","sleepover":"false"......"baddad":"false"} in the dialogue, if You don't use them? 8)

- getting out of handjob mode voluntarily seems to be not possible

- during the starting lines of the dialogue she goes into angry mood. Often she clenches her teeth then, breaking the display of the text. To go on as intended, one has to wait 'til she starts all over again..

- the starting lines are unconditioned "intro" so they will come up later when there's a pause in the action unless she has already been deepthroated. There are ways to keep that from happening. Like using a "chapter" setting.

- even when she is supposed to be the one responsible for how deep she goes on the dick, the comments don't support that. You'd have to make a check for if she's held to bring up proper lines.

- using no "thought" lines CAN be a wise idea, as they usually come up way to often. Here it makes the dialogue a bit onesided.. and using "Him" only as a narrator is an intersting idea, but not suiting my pesonal taste.

So.. nice dialogue with much opportunity to improve 8)

Maybe You want to take a closer look at Slingerbult's Comprehensive Dialogue Guide or even start to work with the Loader and Gollum's Dialogue Actions. And sby has some useful additions for the Loader, too, like the noclenchteeth mod which keeps the Angry Mood from breaking dialogues and the dialoguedisplayedit to set dialogue text and background colour(s).

 

[psykil]

This dialog is strange and wonderful.

 

[CGma]

This one's really good too =). But I'm getting a couple problems:

I'm unable to leave handjobmode voluntarily
When in a happy mood I seem to drop way too fast into the angry mood without any indication from what is written
When in a very bad mood/very angry, I can't leave it any longer.

The deeper the riskier. Make sure her tongue is activated, it is the only way to improve her mood significantly. When she's mad, she will be unwilling to do the hand-job as well, until normal mood. Thanks for your feedback!

- getting out of handjob mode voluntarily seems to be not possible

I know about the hand-job, but I don't think I will change anything about it. If you let her stroke until completion, she will then usually leave the hand-job on her own at the "restart".

- even when she is supposed to be the one responsible for how deep she goes on the dick, the comments don't support that. You'd have to make a check for if she's held to bring up proper lines.

Someone else mentioned this earlier in the thread and I didn't pay attention 'cause I thought it was an isolated bug. The comments actually support that(held and released). What happens here is that she struggles to accomplish the task. Her being released doesn't make her suicidal. However, if you manage to keep her in the happy mood, she will have more chance to keep doing it on her own, even after choking, and such. If on normal mood, she will more likely think it wasn't all it was cracked to be, which brings her back to "held" mode and possibly on angry mood.

There are certainly things to be improved about the dialogue... I haven't been working on it lately, but I will take your feedback in consideration for the next update. Thanks!

 

[kenitic]

You said to not put her in the ahego mode because she won't talk...

Perfect! Now I can shut her up whenever I want.

 

[CGma]

You said to not put her in the ahego mode because she won't talk...

Perfect! Now I can shut her up whenever I want.

It is actually not true anymore as I used the Ahegao mood as a 4th stage during the hand-job mode.

---

I've just uploaded version 1_2 that makes it easier to improve her mood. I think a lot of people were getting stuck in the Angry mood(it also happened to me when the tongue would simply stop working), so I've made the hand-job a tool similar to the tongue, accessible even when she's angry.

If you have her stroking, she will get in a better disposition 1 time out of 2, approximately.

I've added a few lines to avoid repetition, corrected a few typos as well. Hope you guys enjoy this update.

 

[CGma]

Updated to 1_4 in OP, with new "climax" feature.

 

[TDream]

This is getting better and better! keep updating.

 

[CGma]

Just updated the original post with a new version of the dialogue.

Feedbacks are welcome!

 

[Pim_gd]

Use the checker please
please
pleeeease
I'm begging you

For instance
this line, right here
Line 396: cum_on_face:"***YOU WIN***"{"mood":"Ahegao"}
Will display as (given Player name Bob)
"Bob WIN"

DialogueChecker output in spoiler...

Spoiler

Dialogue was checked in 2196 ms with v2.09 of the DialogueChecker.
I found 56 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 4 were major issues, and 52 were minor issues.
Variables - Major: Unused variable ("held") in initial_settings line, linenumber 3, col 18, near "initial_settings:{"held":"true","mood":"normal"}".
Line 3: initial_settings:{"held":"true","mood":"normal"}

Variables - Major: Unused variable ("mood") in initial_settings line, linenumber 3, col 32, near "initial_settings:{"held":"true","mood":"normal"}".
Line 3: initial_settings:{"held":"true","mood":"normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 37, col 60 near "(...) job..? (...)"
Line 37: first_dt:"[OPEN_EYES][SHOCK]I thought you wanted a blow job..? [ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]This... [WINCE][CLOSE_EYES][LOOK_UP]is different for sure...[LOOK_DOWN]"{"held":"true","mood":"Normal","next":"sca"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 65, col 43 near "(...)l_off:"[ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]God... !![NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK]"{"held":"true","moo(...)"
Line 65: pull_off:"[ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]God... !![NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK]"{"held":"true","mood":"Normal","next":"tir"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 71, col 78 near "(...) [SHOCK].... [CLOSE_EYES] (...)"
Line 71: pull_off:"[ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS]You like to play hard don't you?! [SHOCK].... [CLOSE_EYES] .....[WINCE]Just don't hurt me[NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_UP][WINCE]"{"held":"true","mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 82, col 41 near "(...) there... !!"{"held":"false","mood":"Ahegao"}"
Line 82: pull_off:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Mmmphh!! You're almost there... [SHOCK]!!"{"held":"false","mood":"Ahegao"}
Stripped Line 82: pull_off:"Mmmphh!! You're almost there... !!"{"held":"false","mood":"Ahegao"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 89, col 43 near "(...)l_off:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][NORMAL_MOOD]Oh... ![DROOL][SHOCK]"{"held":"false","mood":"Ha(...)"
Line 89: pull_off:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][NORMAL_MOOD]Oh... ![DROOL][SHOCK]"{"held":"false","mood":"Happy","next":"tir"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 104, col 82 near "(...) ...... ..... (...)"
Line 104: pull_off:"[ARMS_LEGS]I ask you[OPEN_EYES] to be a bit more considerate... don't force it on me...[BLINK] ...... [SHOCK] .....[SWALLOW] ....."{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}
Stripped Line 104: pull_off:"I ask you to be a bit more considerate... don't force it on me... ...... ..... ....."{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 144, col 34 near "(...) ..... ....... (...)"
Line 144: pull_off:"[HOLD]Don't do that!![ARMS_LEGS]... [OPEN_EYES]..... [SHOCK] .......[BLINK] ......[NORMAL_MOOD]"{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}
Stripped Line 144: pull_off:"Don't do that!!... ..... ....... ......"{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 226, col 63 near "(...) you..!![LOOK_DOWN]"{"held":"false","mood":"Happ(...)"
Line 226: vigorous:"[OPEN_EYES]Mmm baby,[BLINK] I'll do anything for you..!![LOOK_DOWN]"{"held":"false","mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 228, col 86 near "(...) this.. ?[CLOSE_EYES]"{"held":"false","mood":"Norm(...)"
Line 228: vigorous:"[OPEN_EYES]You'd think I'm crazy if [BLINK]I told you[LOOK_UP] I love this.. ?[CLOSE_EYES]"{"held":"false","mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Space at start of new line on line 265, col 10 near "lick_penis:" - (...)"
Line 265: lick_penis:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][AHEGAO_MOOD] - ( Her excitement peaked ) -[OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP][BLINK]"{"mood":"Happy","next":"lub","style":"Him"}
Stripped Line 265: lick_penis:" - ( Her excitement peaked ) -"{"mood":"Happy","next":"lub","style":"Him"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 298, col 63 near "(...) hard...... [LOOK_DOWN]..[LOOK_UP]"{"mood":"Normal"}"
Line 298: lick_penis:"[OPEN_EYES]Baby, you're throbbing pretty hard...... [LOOK_DOWN]..[LOOK_UP]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 322, col 23 near "upset_c_o_f9:"Finally.. I'm (...)"
Line 322: upset_c_o_f9:"Finally.. [LOOK_UP] I'm a pretty complicated girl.[BLINK] Let's say that I don't always know what I want. [CLOSE_EYES]"{"next":"upset_c_o_f10"}
Stripped Line 322: upset_c_o_f9:"Finally.. I'm a pretty complicated girl. Let's say that I don't always know what I want. "{"next":"upset_c_o_f10"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Space at start of new line on line 357, col 7 near "pre_cum:" - (...)"
Line 357: pre_cum:"[HOLD][ARMS_LEGS] [ANGRY_MOOD]- ( He grabbed her head, seemingly to catch this instant all for himself ) -[SHOCK]"{"mood":"Normal","style":"Him"}
Stripped Line 357: pre_cum:" - ( He grabbed her head, seemingly to catch this instant all for himself ) -"{"mood":"Normal","style":"Him"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 367, col 18 near "(...) Fuck! .. (...)"
Line 367: pre_cum:"[OPEN_EYES]Oh! [HAPPY_MOOD]Fuck! [SHOCK] .. Put it in my mouth[LOOK_DOWN]....[CLOSE_EYES][HOLD]"{"mood":"Normal"}
Stripped Line 367: pre_cum:"Oh! Fuck! .. Put it in my mouth...."{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 370, col 41 near "(...) minute..!!! (...)"
Line 370: pre_cum:"[OPEN_EYES]Wait - wait a minute..!!! I'll get you some kleenex[EJACULATE][BLINK]..[CLOSE_EYES]......"{"mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 378, col 33 near "pre_cum:"[OPEN_EYES][SHOCK]Oh...? Mmm, (...)"
Line 378: pre_cum:"[OPEN_EYES][SHOCK]Oh...? Mmm, [BLINK]come here, [LOOK_UP]I'll take care of it.[LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 389, col 46 near "(...) off.... God (...)"
Line 389: pre_cum:"[SHOCK]You there yet? [LOOK_UP]Let me jerk it off.... [WINCE] [LOOK_UP]God yes...[LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_DOWN]"{"mood":"Happy"}
Stripped Line 389: pre_cum:"You there yet? Let me jerk it off.... God yes..."{"mood":"Happy"}

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("") in a variable insertion (**) on line 396, col 13, near "cum_on_face:"***YOU (...)".
Are you perhaps using asterisks (*) to indicate actions? You should replace the asterisks with %2A. Otherwise SDT will try to insert an undefined variable, leading to blanks in your dialogue.
This seems to be an empty variable - if it is a variable. Keep in mind it's not possible to nest variables.
Line 396: cum_on_face:"***YOU WIN***"{"mood":"Ahegao"}

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("") in a variable insertion (**) on line 396, col 13, near "cum_on_face:"***YOU (...)".
Are you perhaps using asterisks (*) to indicate actions? You should replace the asterisks with %2A. Otherwise SDT will try to insert an undefined variable, leading to blanks in your dialogue.
This seems to be an empty variable - if it is a variable. Keep in mind it's not possible to nest variables.
Line 396: cum_on_face:"***YOU WIN***"{"mood":"Ahegao"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 399, col 44 near "(...) ohH- ...... (...)"
Line 399: cum_on_face:".....[OPEN_EYES] ...... Mmm.[BLINK] ........ ohH- [LOOK_UP] ......[BLINK] .....Mmm[LOOK_UP] oh yes! [BLINK]Yes!![TAP_HANDS] Give it to me![BLINK]"{"mood":"Happy"}
Stripped Line 399: cum_on_face:"..... ...... Mmm. ........ ohH- ...... .....Mmm oh yes! Yes!! Give it to me!"{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 401, col 60 near "(...) ....... ......Great! (...)"
Line 401: cum_on_face:".....[RELEASE] .....[BLINK] .....[CLOSE_EYES] ......[WINCE] .......[OPEN_EYES] ......[CLOSE_EYES] ....... [OPEN_EYES] ......[BLINK]Great! [WINCE]Thanks for[BLINK] sharing.....[CLOSE_EYES] ....."{"next":"upset_c_o_f","mood":"Angry"}
Stripped Line 401: cum_on_face:"..... ..... ..... ...... ....... ...... ....... ......Great! Thanks for sharing..... ....."{"next":"upset_c_o_f","mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 404, col 57 near "(...) ..... ....... (...)"
Line 404: cum_on_face:"....[OPEN_EYES] .....[WINCE]...... [BLINK]...... [LOOK_UP]......[LOOK_DOWN] .......[BLINK] ..... [OPEN_EYES] ....... [CLOSE_EYES] ......[OPEN_EYES] ...... [LOOK_DOWN]A hot sticky mess, just for me...[SWALLOW]"{"mood":"Happy"}
Stripped Line 404: cum_on_face:".... ........... ...... ...... ....... ..... ....... ...... ...... A hot sticky mess, just for me..."{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Space before period for new line on line 406, col 21 near "cum_on_face:".[WINCE] . [OPEN_EYES]. (...)"
Line 406: cum_on_face:".[WINCE] . [OPEN_EYES]. [BLINK] .[LOOK_UP] .[BLINK] .[BLINK] .[LOOK_DOWN] .[LOOK_DOWN]I was hoping[LOOK_UP] you'd do that..."{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 407, col 24 near "(...) .... Hmm- (...)"
Line 407: cum_on_face:"Aww[BLINK]... [CLOSE_EYES].... [ARMS_HIS_LEGS] Hmm- [WINCE]Phew[OPEN_EYES].... [LOOK_UP]you're a gusher![BLINK][LOOK_UP]"{"next":"came_inface","mood":"Happy"}
Stripped Line 407: cum_on_face:"Aww... .... Hmm- Phew.... you're a gusher!"{"next":"came_inface","mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 408, col 58 near "(...)........................................ Next (...)"
Line 408: cum_on_face:"F.....[BLINK].....[CLOSE_EYES].......[ARMS_LOOSE].......[ANGRY_MOOD].......[OPEN_EYES].......[LOOK_DOWN]...... [WINCE] Next time, can you avoid my face? Just..[BLINK] forget it...."{"mood":"Normal"}
Stripped Line 408: cum_on_face:"F............................................ Next time, can you avoid my face? Just.. forget it...."{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (period before comma ending: .,) on line 415, col 18 near "cum_on_face:"Shit..,[ANGRY_MOOD] (...)"
Line 415: cum_on_face:"Shit..,[ANGRY_MOOD] NOT [WINCE]what I expected...."{"next":"upset_c_o_f","mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 416, col 19 near "cum_on_face:"That's what (...)"
Line 416: cum_on_face:"That's [OPEN_EYES] what I call [HAPPY_MOOD]a sweet mess....[BLINK][LOOK_DOWN]"{"next":"came_inface","mood":"Happy"}
Stripped Line 416: cum_on_face:"That's what I call a sweet mess...."{"next":"came_inface","mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 417, col 64 near "(...) crazy... !!"{"mood":"Happy"}"
Line 417: cum_on_face:"Ye-Yes[CLOSE_EYES]- mmm - God you drive me crazy... !!"{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 427, col 45 near "(...) [SWALLOW].... ?? (...)"
Line 427: cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES]Oups!! [SWALLOW].... ?? ...... [SHOCK]Well [OPEN_EYES]okay....[DROOL][BLINK]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Space before period for new line on line 438, col 87 near "(...) [BLINK] . .[LOOK_UP] (...)"
Line 438: cum_on_face:"[OPEN_EYES]...[BLINK] ....[WINCE] ....[LOOK_DOWN] ....[OPEN_EYES]. [BLINK] . .[LOOK_UP] .[LOOK_UP] ...[BLINK]Was it ok baby, did you cum good? [NORMAL_MOOD]...[DROOL]"{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 445, col 38 near "(...) ..... (...)"
Line 445: cum_on_face:"[SHOCK].... [WINCE] ..... .... [OPEN_EYES] .... [LOOK_UP][LOOK_DOWN]That's ok baby.... I didn't think you would but that's ok..."{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Space at start of new line on line 466, col 12 near "cum_in_mouth:" - (...)"
Line 466: cum_in_mouth:"[CLOSE_EYES] - ( She tasted him fondly[RIGHT_ARM_LEGS] after carefuly gathering his load ) - [SWALLOW][OPEN_EYES][LOOK_DOWN]"{"mood":"Happy","next":"came_inside","style":"Him"}
Stripped Line 466: cum_in_mouth:" - ( She tasted him fondly after carefuly gathering his load ) - "{"mood":"Happy","next":"came_inside","style":"Him"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 493, col 40 near "(...) -.... [SHOCK]Ouhwh![WINCE]"{"next":"org","mood"(...)"
Line 493: pre_climax:"Aaawwh! Baby I think I -.... [SHOCK]Ouhwh![WINCE]"{"next":"org","mood":"Ahegao"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 503, col 82 near "(...) -- !!!"{"next":"org","mood":"Ahegao"}"
Line 503: pre_climax:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS]Baby-baby!! I think I .....[RIGHT_ARM_LEGS] Ffff -- !!!"{"next":"org","mood":"Ahegao"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 508, col 5 near "sca:" (...)"
Line 508: sca:" + Your girlfriend is scared"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 508, col 3 near "sca:" (...)"
Line 508: sca:" + Your girlfriend is scared"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Space at start of new line on line 509, col 7 near "disgust:" This (...)"
Line 509: disgust:"[ANGRY_MOOD] This is insane."
Stripped Line 509: disgust:" This is insane."

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 531, col 5 near "wor:" (...)"
Line 531: wor:" + Your girlfriend is worried."{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 531, col 3 near "wor:" (...)"
Line 531: wor:" + Your girlfriend is worried."{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 546, col 35 near "(...) it, Crazy (...)"
Line 546: drool:"I tried[SHOCK] to drink most of it, [COUGH] Crazy idea...."{"mood":"Angry"}
Stripped Line 546: drool:"I tried to drink most of it, Crazy idea...."{"mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 558, col 60 near "(...) [LOOK_UP] [BLINK]"{"mood":"Normal"}"
Line 558: drool:"[OPEN_EYES]Hope you still like me messy.... [LOOK_UP] [BLINK]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 609, col 40 near "pulled_down:"[ARMS_LEGS][OPEN_EYES]What..?[LOOK_UP]?"{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}"
Line 609: pulled_down:"[ARMS_LEGS][OPEN_EYES]What..?[LOOK_UP]?"{"held":"true","mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 661, col 21 near "hand_job_stroke:".... [OPEN_EYES]...[LOOK_UP]"{"mood":"Angry"}"
Line 661: hand_job_stroke:".... [OPEN_EYES]...[LOOK_UP]"{"mood":"Angry"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 664, col 37 near "(...) cum ?"{"mood":"Happy"}"
Line 664: hand_job_stroke:"Are you close to cum ?"{"mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 719, col 34 near "(...) uh ?![RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]"{"mo(...)"
Line 719: hand_job_stroke:"You like this, uh ?![RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 730, col 68 near "(...) me... !![BLINK][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JO(...)"
Line 730: hand_job_stroke:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]God baby, you need to give it to me... !![BLINK][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]"{"next":"lub","mood":"Happy"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 844, col 5 near "tir:" (...)"
Line 844: tir:" + Your girlfriend is tired"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 844, col 3 near "tir:" (...)"
Line 844: tir:" + Your girlfriend is tired"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 845, col 5 near "sti:" (...)"
Line 845: sti:" + Your girlfriend is stimulated"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 845, col 3 near "sti:" (...)"
Line 845: sti:" + Your girlfriend is stimulated"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 847, col 77 near "(...) I ?[OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP][BLINK]"{"mood":"Norm(...)"
Line 847: general:"I think I deserve a lil' something for all that hard work... don't I ?[OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP][BLINK]"{"mood":"Normal"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 868, col 24 near "lub:"[SHOCK][CLOSE_EYES] (...)"
Line 868: lub:"[SHOCK][CLOSE_EYES] + Your girlfriend is lubricating"{"style":"Thought"}

Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 940, col 60 near "(...) mood.. else (...)"
Line 940: intro_suite3:"Don't cum on my face while I'm in a bad mood[LOOK_DOWN].. [BLINK][CLOSE_EYES] else we'll have a serious talk...[LOOK_DOWN][WINCE][OPEN_EYES]"{"next":"intro_suite4"}
Stripped Line 940: intro_suite3:"Don't cum on my face while I'm in a bad mood.. else we'll have a serious talk..."{"next":"intro_suite4"}

Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 1101, col 59 near "(...)OCK][RIGHT_ARM_LOOSE][BLINK][CLOSE_EYES] (...)"
Line 1101: org:"[OPEN_EYES][SHOCK][RIGHT_ARM_LOOSE][BLINK][CLOSE_EYES] +[ARMS_LOOSE][ARMS_LEGS] Your [ARMS_LOOSE] girlfriend is[RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][SHOCK] orgasming [RIGHT_ARM_HIS_LEGS]"{"next":"climax_peak","style":"Thought"}

Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

Now, as for the rest of the dialogue, I'll be happy to look that over for you once the checker reports none to a small amount of issues.