cookies dialogues (1 Viewer)

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist - work in progress

Completed the dialogoue.
If you find any errors or msitakes please contact me.

I'm not seeing a .txt file

The first post contains the .txt file.

 

[Ennoch]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

The char code requires a Farah.swf. Where to get that ?

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

Good question I don't know where I found it.
Well my graphiccrad's fan on my PC is broken so the Laptop is the only thing I have now and so I have more time to write.
Here is a WIP version of the airline atendant.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

A suggestion for you, cookiemonste. Find and replace all instances of ["style":"Though"] with ["style":"Thought"].
It seems to be the most prominent error throughout the WIP version.

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

Thanks for informing me, I was confused because some things were not displayed s thought.
The Checker hasen't noticed that.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

It does for me, when using the latest version. I suggest bookmarking the thread, not the swfcabin link.

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

Added the flight attendant, and this is the last dialogoue for 4 weeks, I'm on vacation.
Next question.
What do you want to be done next?

Slutty MILF from next door seduces son or father.
Slutty girl in the army.
Your favourite modell/pornstar is at your room and offering you a Blowjob.
A female officer seduces and sucks a prisoner of war to reveal secret data.

It's up to you.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

Since you're on vacation for 4 whole weeks, I decided to apply my suggested changes myself.

Spoiler

Line 4: doesn't to don't
Line 10: added a period at the end of the line
Line 15: controll to control
Line 16: changed period at end of sentence to question mark
Line 17: when we landed to when we have landed
Line 35: changed style Though to style Thought
Line 36: I'ts to It's
Line 37: changed style Though to style Thought
Line 38: removed line completely (it was a single period)
Line 54: removed one of the colons as it was double [:: to :]
Line 60: added a period at the end of the line
Line 65: added a period at the end of the line
Line 77: Replaced asterisks with %2A
Line 78: Replaced asterisks with %2A
Line 86: off to of
Line 94: controll to control
Line 101: added a comma
Line 105: you cum to your cum
Line 110: added a period at the end of the line
Line 121: came to come
Line 122: everbody to everybody AND I's to It's
Line 123: Removed a period that was out of the line
Line 130: dool to drool
Line 138: I'ts to It's
Line 152: _ to :

As for the next dialogue... I'd prefer the third scenario (fav pornstar drops by).

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

Thank you for the fix and sorry for the late reply.
In holland I've gotten a serious cold and an Otitis media.
I'M 99% deaf on my right ear now.
So a new dialogoue could take some time.

 

[SDT-FAN]

Re: Police women sucking tourist completed, more dialogoues to come.

The char code requires a Farah.swf. Where to get that ?

Was this Farah one of Fantum's Imports?

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

New Dialogue added.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

And looked the new dialogue over, then fixed what I could!

I didn't bother with fixing things like comma's or substitutes since that would take very long.

My changes that I made:

Spoiler

Changes made: (old lines are shown, for new lines you'll have to look at the dialogue)
Line 6: intro2:"Oh it's okay *YOU* I was taking a nap and I just woke up. How can I help you neighbour."{"next":"intro3"}
comma added (grammar)

Line 8: intro4:"No problem *YOU*. please, come in."{"next":"intro5"}
New sentence starts with capital, so capitalized please

Line 13: intro9:"*ME* I'm married! (unzip pants)[AHEGAO_MOOD]."{"style":"Him","next":"intro10"}
Removed the period since unzipping pants is not spoken

Line 16: intro12:"You're almost cumming because I touched your dick?.[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][SHOCK]When was the last time you had sex?[NORMAL_MOOD]"{"next":"intro13"}
Removed double sentence ending, added a space since new sentence wouldn't be separated from previous sentence otherwise.

Line 18: intro14:"Has your wife ever given you oralsex?"{"next":"intro15"}
oral sex is two words, so I split it up.

Line 19: intro15:""{"style":"Him","next":"intro16"}
I added ellipsis otherwise this line zooms by without being shown.

Line 20: intro16:"Like I thought, listen *YOU* I will make you feel good today, our bodies are aching for it. Today I will give you a nice blowjob and deepthroat. Oralsex is no real sex so you are not cheating on your wife. And if you are alone without your wife, you can come over and I will fulfil your every desire. Is that a deal *YOU*?"{"next":"intro18"}
oral sex two words

Line 22: general:"I only work during weekends so you can take a day of when your wife is working and your son is at school. You can visit me for more sugar if you like[BLINK]."
a day of -> a day off

Line 24: general:"I've still got my old nurse uniform, so if you come over I can treat you. I can remove the swelling of your dick so it will fit i your pants again [BLINK]."
Removed space before period at end of line, and "fit i your pants" -> "fit in your pants"

Line 26: general:"There is only one thing I love more than having sex: dressing sexy. I love lingerie and kinky clothes, and the thing I love the most is seeing your reaction in your face and your pants."
Changed colon : to %2A

Line 28: general:"I can hear you and this bitch.. sorry your wife fighting and arguing almost every evening *YOU* if you want to leave her I'm there, I like your company and your cock [BLINK]."
removed space before period at end of line.

Line 33: general:Oh *ME* I've waited so long for this and finally I get a blowjob by a gorgeuous women. I was so desperate that I almost hired a hooker."{"style":"Him"}
Fixed bug (missing quotes), typo (gorgeous)

Line 34: general:"I can also give you nice relaxing massages, and I can give your dick a special hand-boob-pussy massage, what do you think about it?
added missing double quote on end

Line 36: general:I've masturbated so often thinking off you and now I'm giving you a blowjob. A dream comes true."
Added missing double quote at start, "thinking off you" -> "thinking of you"

Line 40: general:"Listen *YOU*, tomorrow is weekend and I got the late shift.
When your family is asleep come over and pick me up. I've got a small room some blocks away and there we can have some really hot and hard sex. It will get very loud so we better go there, or your wife will find out.
fixed linebreak with %0A

Line 55: first_throat:"Have you ever had oralsex before? If I look at your facial expressions I don't think so."
oral sex two words

Line 56: first_throat:"Ohhh yes I've missed that feeling having a dick down my throat."
"that feeling having a dick" -> "that feeling of having a dick"

Line 57: first_throat:"Don't think I'm a slut! If I please my man than I do it for 100 percent."
than -> then

Line 65: first_dt:"Oh yes *YOU*, It's all down my throat."
"It's" -> it's

Line 66: first_dt:"I thought it would hurt after all the years but its actually ticeling."
ticeling -> tickling

Line 68: first_dt:"I love oralsex. I love giving oralsex and receiving oralsex."
oral sex two words

Line 72: restart:"I can't stop now I need more of your cum!"
comma added

Line 74: restart1::"I tell her that I helped you to assemble a new cupboard. She knows that you are not a good hand worker."{"style":"Him"}
Fixed double colon

Line 77: restart:"You're up for more *ME*?."{"style":"Him","next":"restart2"}
Double sentence ending fixed - went for question mark

Line 83, 84, 85: wake:"Did you hold me down?."
wake:"What happened?."
wake:"How late is it?."
Double sentence ending fixed - went for question mark

Line 99: held:"I can't breathe!."
Double sentence ending fixed - went for exclamation mark

Line 100: cough:"*cough*"
asterisks are not allowed in dialogues unless it's for variable insertions like *YOU* and so. Changed * to %3A so it will show as * ingame.

Line 101: cough:"*splutter*"
same here

Line 106: pre_cum:"Oh *YOU* I'm so wet right now I'm cumming!! Let's cum together!"{"next":"precum1"}
There is no "precum1" line but there is a "pre_cum1" line so I changed next to "pre_cum1"

Line 107: pre_cum1:"You want to cum all over my breasts? Yeah? I'll just take my shirt of."
"of" -> "off"

Line 108: pre_cum:"You want me to stop? So you will last longer and can ejoy this thrill some more."
ejoy -> enjoy

Line 109: pre_cum:"Oh my favourite neighbour is close to his orgasm. You want me to finish you of?
added missing double quote, "of" -> "off"


Line 111: pre_cum:"I forgot how much fun it is to make a men cum."
men -> man (or you could make it so that it's "to make men cum")

Line 122: cum_on_face:"I love it when my men comes all over me. Then I'm 100 percent sure that I satisfied him."
men -> man

Line 124: cum_on_face:"You've coverd my face in your cum. You like seeing me with your hot cum on my face? I can feel how it drips down my chin."
coverd -> covered

Line 127: cum_in_mouth:"It's so thick it almost feels like a blob in my moth."
moth -> mouth

Line 128: cum_in_mouth:"I bet that was a fantasy of you. Cum into a womans mouth."
womans -> woman's

Line 129: cum_in_mouth:"For one moment I thought you cum would splush out of my lips, because it was so much and you shot it with so much presure."
"you cum would" -> "your cum would", "presure" -> "pressure" (maybe "with such force" would be better?)

Line 134: cum_in_mouth:"My mouthis so full. You want me to swallow it?"
mouthis -> mouth is

Line 149: cum_in_throat:"I couldn稚 taste you *YOU*."
notepad borked on me, "couldn稚 " -> "couldn't "

Line 155: cum_in_eye:"Please be more carefuly next time."
carefuly -> careful

Line 156: cum_in_nose:"Wow, you ejaculated with so much presure that it shot into my nose."
presure -> pressure

Line 161: drool1:"It was too much I couldn't swallow everything."
Changed NOTHING but it's unused!

Line 165: drool:"Oh I spilled your hot, thick and sticky load over my body. I heard it's god for the skin, you'd like to give me more?"
"god" -> "good"

Line 170: resistance:"I'm getting better right neighbour?
added missing double quote

Line 177: resistance:"."
removed useless line

Line 179: lick_penis:"I love teasing your dick with my tounge. Do you also love it?".{"next":"lick_penis1"}
tounge -> tongue, removed floating period

Line 181: lick_penis:"I love nibbeling on your dick *YOU*, I feel 10 years younger when I do it. And I feel so naughty."
nibbeling -> nibbling

Line 183: lick_balls:"Oh your balls are big, I think it's because of the cum you致e hold back for some years."
notepad again, "you致e hold back" -> "you've held back"

Line 186: lick_balls1"*ME* you are driving me crazy, I haven't been so aroused since years."{"style":"Him"}
added missing colon, "since years" -> "in years"

Line 187: pulled_up:"You want to see how good I誕m with my hands? Okay[ARMS_HAND_JOB]."
NOTEPAAAD WHY - "I誕m" -> "I am"

Line 188: pulled_up:"Let me give you a nice little Handjob *YOU* [RIGHT_ARM_HANDJOB]."
extra space removed, "Handjob" -> "handjob", fixed trigger ([RIGHT_ARM_HAND_JOB])

Line 189: pulled_up:I need a break let me stroke your dick [ARMS_HAND_JOB]."
Added missing double quote

Line 191: pulled_down:Let me put my lips back around your dick [ARMS_HIS_LEGS]."
added missing double quote

Line 193: hand_job_stroke:"You are so hard *YOU*.
added missing double quote

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

And I thought I worked clean this time.
Thanks for fixing.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

Just out of curiosity, how old of a version of the checker did you have on your laptop?

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

I don't know but I dowloaded it after my first dialogue, which was some moths ago.

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

I've added a new german dialogue.
Da geht meine bitte zum Gegenlesen vor allem an Booster oder andere deutsch-sprachige Mitglieder, da ich probleme mit der Koma setzung habe.

 

[blumisb]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

Da waren aber nicht nur Zeichenfehler drinn ^^

Keine Garantie, dass jetzt alles stimmt .. aber 20+x Buchstabendreher, Komma und andere Satzzeichen stehen jetzt besser. Dazu 2-3 Fehler bei der Dialog-Syntax, d.h. du hattest gelegentlich mal zwei Doppelpunkte und andermal irgendwie gar keinen ...

 

[Vocaloyd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

this is so nice i wish you could do more dialogues in german like incest :D
I like incest dialogues with sister and such things :)

Oder wenn die freundin der schwester sich an ihn ranmacht :D

wäre es möglich dass du so einen schreibst?

Good Work

 

[cookiemonste]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

Sowas hab ich auf meiner To-do-liste, zumindest das sich die freundin einer Freundin an den Freund ranmacht. Freundception! ;) Aber mehr auf deutsch ist geplant.

Danke für deine Zeit Blumisb, wie gesagt ich arbeite auf einer Amerikanischen Tastatur die auf deutsch umgestellt ist auf meinem Laptop. Ich werde deinen Dialog durchgehen und gucken ob ich nochwas finde.

mfg. cookie 8)

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: Police women sucking tourist Stewardess sucking passenger MILF seducing neighbou

Even when writing foreign language dialogues, use the checker!
(But I work offline! - Check before uploading - that requires an internet connection...)

Spoiler

Dialogue was checked in 87 ms.
I found 5 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 2 were major issues, and 3 were minor issues.
Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
Double space on line 8, col 20 near "(...) ich nachgucken?"{"next":"intro5"}"
Line 8: intro4:"Oh, darf ich [DROOL] nachgucken?"{"next":"intro5"}
Stripped Line 8: intro4:"Oh, darf ich nachgucken?"{"next":"intro5"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 15, col 19 near "(...) du !"{"style":"Him","next":"intro11"}"
Line 15: intro10:"Und wie du !"{"style":"Him","next":"intro11"}

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("cough") in a variable insertion (*cough*) on line 83, col 7, near "cough:"*cough*"".
Are you perhaps using asterisks (*) to indicate actions? You should replace the asterisks with %2A. Otherwise SDT will try to insert an undefined variable, leading to blanks in your dialogue.
Line 83: cough:"*cough*"

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("splutter") in a variable insertion (*splutter*) on line 84, col 7, near "cough:"*splutter*"".
Are you perhaps using asterisks (*) to indicate actions? You should replace the asterisks with %2A. Otherwise SDT will try to insert an undefined variable, leading to blanks in your dialogue.
Line 84: cough:"*splutter*"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: ?.) on line 103, col 60 near "(...) Gesicht?.""
Line 103: cum_on_face:"Na gefall ich dir mit Sperma auf meinem Gesicht?."

Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

checks based on "kinky dialogue-1.txt"