GloryHole dialogue (1 Viewer)

zzaapp002

Staff
RM Moderator
Joined
Dec 10, 2011
Good work man! On this and the background! If you size the breasts right; they stop just at the wall. Perfect!

Also, I figured your dialogue was a good one to look at for pointers for any I might make.

In doing so I found some typos and weird text errors. (Like E'). I fixed those up and started tweaking the text a bit for tenses and grammar. (Sorry I used to work as a not-so-great proof-reader long ago and far away).

I then started tweaking some of the dialogue itself. Couldn't help myself. I added some "history" for her. (Some Daddy issues that may have led her down the path to the Glory Hole job). She also grows to like things a bit more towards the end.

Is it cool if I post the edited / tweaked version here with credit to you?
 

valley

Potential Patron
Joined
Feb 15, 2012
yes, of course you can!
sorry for the mistakes, but I'm italian, and I know my english isn't vary good.. :S
if you have done some corrections better for all!

(and honestly I really don't know why sometimes appears these E')
 

zzaapp002

Staff
RM Moderator
Joined
Dec 10, 2011
Hey Valley, your English is much better than half of the people I know so don't worry too much.

And so here is Glory Hole, the Phantom Edit! Feel free to comment, edit, etc.

This is my first time here messing with a script here. Timing is a little off so any pointers are welcome.

Works well if you swap self to hard and back again as you like.
 

Attachments


valley

Potential Patron
Joined
Feb 15, 2012
zzaapp002 said:
Hey Valley, your English is much better than half of the people I know so don't worry too much.

And so here is Glory Hole, the Phantom Edit! Feel free to comment, edit, etc.

This is my first time here messing with a script here. Timing is a little off so any pointers are welcome.

Works well if you swap self to hard and back again as you like.

thanks man, now it works good! I jist switched some finals "nrmal mode" into "happy mode" when she starts enjoying it
 
M

Morgue

Hi.. I am new to the site.. and I like the GLORYHOLE background and dialogue that was posted... I am going to add another gloryhole dialogue here in a few day dealing with a blindfolded black wife thinking that she is sucking off her husband's cock for his birthday fantasy... when really she will be sucking off a stranger's cock (yours) and I will be adding other stuff to it as well....
 

Attachments

  • screenshot0001.png
    screenshot0001.png
    371 KB · Views: 773
  • Sissy Cocksucker at the Gloryhole.png
    Sissy Cocksucker at the Gloryhole.png
    400.9 KB · Views: 842

Users who are viewing this thread

Top


Are you 18 or older?

This website requires you to be 18 years of age or older. Please verify your age to view the content, or click Exit to leave.