GloryHole dialogue (1 Viewer)

[valley]

Hi!
here it is the dialogue that works with the background that I'v alrady post and you can found here:
http://superdeepthroat.undertow.club/index.php?topic=2060.0

It's about an "innocente" girl at here first work day at the gloryhole!

 

[zzaapp002]

Good work man! On this and the background! If you size the breasts right; they stop just at the wall. Perfect!

Also, I figured your dialogue was a good one to look at for pointers for any I might make.

In doing so I found some typos and weird text errors. (Like E'). I fixed those up and started tweaking the text a bit for tenses and grammar. (Sorry I used to work as a not-so-great proof-reader long ago and far away).

I then started tweaking some of the dialogue itself. Couldn't help myself. I added some "history" for her. (Some Daddy issues that may have led her down the path to the Glory Hole job). She also grows to like things a bit more towards the end.

Is it cool if I post the edited / tweaked version here with credit to you?

 

[booster]

Is it cool if I post the edited / tweaked version here with credit to you?

since there are a lot of errors in it, thus unusable: yes :P

 

[valley]

yes, of course you can!
sorry for the mistakes, but I'm italian, and I know my english isn't vary good.. :S
if you have done some corrections better for all!

(and honestly I really don't know why sometimes appears these E')

 

[zzaapp002]

Hey Valley, your English is much better than half of the people I know so don't worry too much.

And so here is Glory Hole, the Phantom Edit! Feel free to comment, edit, etc.

This is my first time here messing with a script here. Timing is a little off so any pointers are welcome.

Works well if you swap self to hard and back again as you like.

 

[valley]

Hey Valley, your English is much better than half of the people I know so don't worry too much.

And so here is Glory Hole, the Phantom Edit! Feel free to comment, edit, etc.

This is my first time here messing with a script here. Timing is a little off so any pointers are welcome.

Works well if you swap self to hard and back again as you like.

thanks man, now it works good! I jist switched some finals "nrmal mode" into "happy mode" when she starts enjoying it

 

[zzaapp002]

Cool, glad it worked out!

 

[hornychief]

Second Dialogue made me lol ;D

 

[Morgue]

Hi.. I am new to the site.. and I like the GLORYHOLE background and dialogue that was posted... I am going to add another gloryhole dialogue here in a few day dealing with a blindfolded black wife thinking that she is sucking off her husband's cock for his birthday fantasy... when really she will be sucking off a stranger's cock (yours) and I will be adding other stuff to it as well....