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Innocent yet Determined: series

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by happenchance, Feb 16, 2013.

  1. happenchance

    happenchance Potential Patron

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    Well. I said I was going to try this out, so, here it is.

    My first attempt at dialogue.

    the scene: you have just adopted a daughter, only you didn't know just how grateful she is to you until now.


    Let me know what you think and let me know how I can fix a few things.

    oh yeah....and Congrats on finding your new Daughter! lol


    PS- I would definitely be remiss if I did not mention that I have used a LOT of stuff from the wonderfully talented people on these threats. I could not have done this without you all, Thank you.

    PSS- Wouldn't you know it as soon I upload the file I find errors to fix *rolls eyes* and looking at the name I could have named it different too lol

    PSS- be sure to download the bottom one as I have not yet learned how to get the top one deleted.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Shybear

    Shybear Potential Patron

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    Sounds good i'll check it out. Welcome to the forums
     
  3. BuckWild

    BuckWild Casual Client

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    I actually found a few more errors that I managed to fix, basing it on the errors in the Dialog logs. Neither of the two uploads you had seemed to be any different from one another. Both had "jj" at the end of the initial settings line which I replaced with " }". There were also several lines that followed the dialogues and were written like this:

    Code:
    function_name:"INSERT DIALOGUE HERE"{set":{"cumcount":"+1"}}
    The set" needed to be "set" and you forgot to include the first quotation mark (") on a single line of dialogue.

    Overall, not bad for a beginner's hackjob. I'll upload the fully functional file that works just as you intended. I added none of my own content, just fixed what was already there.
     

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  4. blumisb

    blumisb Potential Patron

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    More errors - still in the "corrected version":

    in7a:"Whatever happens,БББББ we can't tell anyone about this...ББББББББББ Promise?[in7b]"{"style":"Him"}o

    inntro3:"[SHOCK]Is this how families show their love for each other, Daddy?[in3a]"

    cum_in_mouth:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Oh, Daddy! [SWALLOW]you squirted [SWALLOW]so much [SWALLOW] in my mouth![SWALLOW] I......[SWALLOW] give a sec.[SWALLOW]"{"set":{"cumcount":"+1"}}j
    cum_in_mouth:
    cum_in_mouth:

    cum_in_nose:


    And a lot words written with first capital letters .. and i don´t see a sense in it: "I'm Sorry Daddy" or "Oh My God!"
     
  5. happenchance

    happenchance Potential Patron

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    many thanks BuckWild. I can tell that I need to develop a better eye for seeing code. Also thank you for the fix. I want to get rid of that top file something fierce but I cannot seem to find out how.

    I guess I was tried to convey her eagerness to please him?
     
  6. T0mcat

    T0mcat Avid Affiliate

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    I can't help but wonder why You set variables which You then don't check for?

    And it should be: {"style":"thought", "set":{"cocksucker":"true"}} ( not {"style":"thought"}{"set":{"cocksucker":"true"}} )

    You also use a lot of "thought" lines, which will keep lines she has to speak (for which her mouth has to be free..) from being displayed.

    But the idea is nice and the text itself is also very nice..

    ... You just need to work a bit on the code part ;)
     
  7. BuckWild

    BuckWild Casual Client

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    Well, I can't say I saw those as errors. I based my fixes entirely on the logs, which didn't detect any errors in my fixed text file. I guess logs don't detect every error, which is very possible when working with any kind of codework. Thanks for those final tips, T0mcat.
     
  8. happenchance

    happenchance Potential Patron

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    lol yeah I WAS going to do some stuff with them but I started to realize I needed to learn a bit more to get it right (lazy me? =o.O=) and seeing as how it didn't mess with it I left them in in case I wanted to do something more with it later........yeah that sounds good right? lol


    about the thought lines..... I tried to shore those up with the "sub" lines which make the thought lines act as regular lines.... I am right in thinking it works like that, right?


    I tried to make the dialogue seem non porno.. lol...
     
  9. tmb

    tmb Vivacious Visitor

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    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2015