Zako Artwork (6 Viewers)

Kargan3033

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2015
Other zako (hentai)
kx29Hne.jpg

What is this and is there an english version of this?
 

antonio_manuel

Master of this Domain
Joined
Feb 7, 2017

Kargan3033

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2015

Thank for the share, seen this before on another site, had no idea there was an english version .
 

Cobra02

Club Regular
Joined
Jun 24, 2016
I like the artwork, but the story is a bit a confusing, sorry to be blunt but cause of the broken english I sorta can't understand what they're saying sometimes.
well i am working alone on everything one the manga story, my english is not that much good, anyone can help plz??
 

dx3

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
Hi MadPen!

First, your art is actually very very good! I love the pictures and the zakos. Only thing I wish is if you would show the bodies a little more after they're killed. I mean like you did in this one: The King Blade

I like seeing dead zakos personally!

But yes, the story is hard to follow, probably because your English isn't perfect. English is a very hard language.

You seem to change quickly between scenes with different characters too, without really showing it well.

That said, I love your work. Please continue!
 

Cobra02

Club Regular
Joined
Jun 24, 2016
madpen_s_sad_story_with_e_hentai_by_madpen1000-dbqt882.png


HAHAHA omg you're guys not the only ones who are confused, i am confused here too!! Not sure if i must continue or try something else :P
Woow that is really confusing for me too :D
 

NNin

Ryonani Teamster
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
A private commission of Black Scorpion vs. Watchmen Dominatrix, from Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2.
Black Scorpion is a skilled martial artist. But the dominatrix was trained as a combatant as well, to the point that one can hold her own against Night Owl or Rorschach if the chance is available.
Who will win? (Though Black Scorpion loses often in her TV series lol)
462w70G.jpg
 
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dx3

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Dec 6, 2015
LOL MadPen

Don't let haters get you down. Everybody's a hater on the internet. Your work is great! Keep going.
 

Cobra02

Club Regular
Joined
Jun 24, 2016
LOL MadPen

Don't let haters get you down. Everybody's a hater on the internet. Your work is great! Keep going.
Thank you, all of them had never uploaded a single drawing on their account. Believe me i am okay with negative comment i do wha i want and i don't care about the rates and bad comments, but i think i should stop for a few moment to see what i must do, many people told me that there's a couple of mistakes in the manga and i will see how i may fix them :)
 

TPK

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
May 3, 2016
Thank you, all of them had never uploaded a single drawing on their account. Believe me i am okay with negative comment i do wha i want and i don't care about the rates and bad comments, but i think i should stop for a few moment to see what i must do, many people told me that there's a couple of mistakes in the manga and i will see how i may fix them :)

You really need to make story flow more fluid, and do not skip so much between panels. Compare those King Blade comixes to the ones you posted earlier ( for example colored one, about assault on base - which I hope you finish, because it was ended on cliffhanger) - it is a less confusing, you can understand what is going on, how many enemies MC had killed, his progression etc - story is more understandable, despite being wordless.

About English - you probably can stick to pictographs, like in that base assault comics - you will not be the first, for example AKABUR/RUBAKA did some good stories using only pictographs in dialogue boxes. Or stick to simple sentences and use Googletranslate. I think results will be more understandable and less confusing than with your current level on English knowledge. As you get more practice you will improve and will not neek machinetranslation. BTW, googletranslate works bad with long and complex sentences.

Overall, I think you are doing OK - drawing style are pretty good, but IMO currently you are downgraded your storytelling a bit compared to your earlier works. Probably try finishing some of your older works left on cliffhangers, trying to preserve original storyflow and you will make new ones better.

This "Kingsblade" manga IMO can be very OK, if you probably tell its story in twice longer way (same number of events, but make each battle take more panels), because IMO currently its too "jumpy" and confusing. There is no rush if you do not have set deadline. There is proverb -haste makes waste, so the more detailed action the less it is confusing.
 
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Cobra02

Club Regular
Joined
Jun 24, 2016
Thanks! you know AKABUR/RUBAKA, i like his gag comic of ninja turtles btw :P
I think i will stop for a moment and i'll back to make a remake of the manga and then i will continue the next chapter, playing evil withing 2 is look interesting for me for the moment :P thanks for all the remarks <3
 

wj1905

Master of this Domain
Joined
May 26, 2015
well i am working alone on everything one the manga story, my english is not that much good, anyone can help plz??
What is your original language? Maybe someone can translate what you wrote in that to english better. Because yeah, it makes no sense really. "You think a garbage bags like you will scare me?" - for example... I don't even know what that intended to be.
 

TPK

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
May 3, 2016
i skip many panels sometimes because i love making fight scenes i don't like long dialogues :P

You don't need dialogues to make story that have sense, action just have to be fluid to be understandable. Look for example at this RUBAKA comics - there are no words (except SFX), but storyflow is there - you can understand what is going on.
https://exhentai.org/g/524322/456ca6d4e3/
[AKABUR/RUBAKA] Those Little Fuckers - E-Hentai Galleries

If I'm use one of your works as a an example, look at this one and compare to your recent King Blade.
My 1st Zako Comic / 8 Pages - Zako Land

It already have your trademark version of english, but comix is generally pretty understandable without reading text bubbles at all. There is progression, you can count how many enemies MC had killed/screwed, how many fights he had. Some action is skipped, and those 2 enemy girls in the final panel (long-black-haired lady and grey-haired one) , seem to appeared from nowhere, but most of the storyflow is smooth and epilogue is almost there. When chars suddenly appear and disappear that is really confuse readers.

For example in your "kings blade" 2nd issue satanic female enemies appear without introduction, I really can't count vs how many enemies he fought, and then there is 2nd part (from pg. 15 of e-hentai gallery, The King Blade 2 ), where some girls from issue 1 fight vs horned demon guy. This place switch is also done without exposition or explanation, and make you feel like it is direct continuation of previous page, which doesn't make any sense and break story.
 

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