Petal Story: Work Hard Play Hard (complete) (1 Viewer)

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
This story and my next Petal story are both set in the Petal multiverse, not intended to be related to the play by post or any existing story, and a part of it is written back when Petals are still clones instead of orphans so it may be a bit too scifi.

First, I have to thank NNin NNin and Rati for creating such beautiful characters and the interesting world they live in. Next, a content warning and also a question for NNin: Would you allow sexualized violence and erotic smut be associated with Petals? The scenes will be like ZakoLover ZakoLover 's story or the forum game threads. The Petals will not be depicted as underage. If you are not okay with explicit scenes, I will drop this story and move to the next where Petals win and can be written without smut.



Work Hard Play Hard


Bai Bi Industries has expanded into a quiet suburb in Midwest America, taking up local businesses of all kinds. They sent one group of Petals to serve as receptionists and guards at a bank handling their money, replacing their long term private guard company for years. They don't know, however, the head of the replaced security team is a female mercenary fighter known as S, who do not like the newcomers in her town at all. She is determined to wipe out the entire Petal team on her own, to prove the bank wrong and show Bai Bi's board of directors what a professional can do.

Protagonist: S
Enemy combatants: Nameless Petals x7
Extermination methods: Smothering, morphine injection, fishing wire, melee Kungfu combat
Special techniques: Fingering non-con, Petal uniform disguise, body hiding, kiss of death
 
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osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
In the middle of the night, S scaled the wall ledge outside the top floor, passing under windows, towards where the Petals' dorm rooms are. Intel told her all the Petals sleep inside new rooms set up in the bank building, a luxury as she and her team always had to commute when changing shifts.

"Keep moving. Go past this one, second room has one tango, sleeping like a log."

S had her teammate K set up a sniping position across the street, only for observation and distraction if all goes according to her plan. After all, she wants the Petals dealt with quietly, without any trace that they ever existed when she is done. No bullet holes should be left inside the building, so she didn't even bring a gun, just a radio earpiece, a fishing wire and some morphine syringes.

"Thanks, babe!"

S was already under the sleeping Petal's room as she speaks. She propped herself up, then unlocked the window from outside using the fishing wire. She knows this entire bank like the back of her palm, her security company having worked here for years. Neither the management nor Bai Bi paid them any respect when they laid them off, so now she's coming back to teach them a lesson in a way they can remember.

The dorm room she saw is nothing luscious or salacious, just like a dorm room in any high school or college. It used to be an office. One bunk bed on a side, a closet and desk on the other, a shower room next to the door. The Petal K saw in her scope lies sleeping on the bottom bunk.

This is the first time S ever saw a Petal this close. They didn't arrive in town after her team was out, and there haven't been many chances to go near and observe when they are here. However, there are still many ways for S to get the information she needed. Some of them are intelligence for sale on the black market, others are porn movies made by companies owned by Bai Bi. The Petals are so beautiful and energetic in these movies, S felt bad for the ones here to have came into the wrong town. It's also these movies that gave her the idea of infiltrating dressing like a Petal, as she also has Chinese ancestry.

The Petal has untied her hair before going to bed and the blanket is drawn to her shoulders, so it's hard to tell which one of the guards is her. They all have plastic surgery to look like each other, S remembers, and there are some rumors that some of them are cloned. It doesn't matter, she will sort through their documents when her team comes to clean up the bodies. Right now, the Petal can be any innocent college girl from China, but the weapons locker in the room gave her out.

S took her shoes off, grabbed the pillow from the upper bunk then quietly moved on top of the Petal in bed. It's a slow way to kill, but she doesn't want to risk waking the Petal up when putting the fishing wire around her neck or finding a place to insert the syringe. Once her entire body is over the younger girl's, she pressed the pillow down.

At first the Petal didn't resist very hard, not making any noise either. S wonders if she is used to playing with other Petals like this or having lesbian fun. Soon, the girl started to struggle with very difficult breath. S moves her left arm away from the pillow and applied all the force she can spare to the Petal's throat, while crossing their legs together. She enjoys this struggle so far, it's the closest she can get to having crazy sex with a Petal, which she wanted to experience so much ever since watching the Petal movies. Some day in the future, with a fake identity, she and her boyfriend D will hire a Petal for one day and nobody dies, but not this time.

S pressed her own face onto the top of the pillow and moved her hands into the blanket. Being taller than her target, it's easy for her to go far enough to tickle her really hard in the good place. Soon, tickling became fingering. The panting coming under the pillow was intense.

The slender body under her would be so irresistible, but now all its resistance is futile. The seductive power the Petal has only made S feel a stronger urge to finish killing her, appreciation of her beauty would come after death. To S, the night was meant to be a surgical and cold blooded revenge on company enemies disrespecting the turf rules, but this abuse and violation on the Petal feels so good to her. It's a type of obsessive love that can not be interrupted by the Petal's death.

S still has her mind clear enough to sense when did the girl had a spasm and stop moving. She pulled back, sitting on the Petal's waist but still keeping the pillow on her face. Her fingers rubbed over the Petal's neck to check for a pulse, then moved off satisfied when she found none. S threw the pillow off, took out her micro flashlight and held up the girl's face to have a close look. The target indeed had the standard look of a Petal.

"There you go, you are the first to pay for coming to my town."

S whispers to the dead Petal and kissed her on the mouth, then pulled the blanket to a side. The Petal was wearing a plain looking set of tight fitting pajamas. Sweaty and messy, a little wet from the fingering. It made her more innocent looking, but S feels no guilt, only excitement in conquering a new kind of enemy. Bai Bi always claimed the Petals are legally aged. She is worried about another thing.

"You don't look my size..."

S pulled the blanket back and started checking the closet. Nothing the dead girl or her soon to be dead roommate had in the closet fits, either too short or too tight. Maybe another closet will do.

"Time for plan B, which room should I check next?"

She called K over the radio half naked. The dead Petal in bed just released her bladder, the smell making S grin in amusement how weak and mortal the Petals are.

"The one to your left has one that could be your size... Don't do that!"

"Come on, babe, you know you want to see me."

S kept undressing, no need to carry her own street clothing around when she will switch into a Petal uniform soon.

"Shit, she's coming back... No she's going to the toilet. Across your room, don't come out,"

S blew a kiss into the radio earpiece. Now all she was wearing is the radio, a roll of fishing wire on her left wrist and a pouch of morphine syringes on her right thigh. She carefully listened for the Petal to pass her room and enter the toilet, then patiently waited for the flush.

She quietly opened and stepped over to the bathroom door, a gentle pull and she's in. It was easy to see the pair of cute legs wearing Petal uniform shoes and stocking behind one of the stalls. Before the Petal can come out, S pulled it back and charged in.

The Petal was completely shocked by the naked young woman in front of her, but S grabbed her by the neck before she can react. S knocked her back onto the toilet with a knee strike, and stabbed a syringe onto her thigh at the same time. The fast acting concentrated morphine can guarantee a clean death and fast unconsciousness in very short time, making it the right tool for taking over unsoiled clothing. The coincidence that this Petal decided to relieve herself saved S the worry, so S decided to give her this present of comfortable demise as gratitude.

S kept pressure on the girl's neck until her cannot keep her head straight. She sat her down on the toilet then undid the collar. This Petal had the same face as the one in the bunk bed, an two hair buns on short hair, not as complex as the ones in the movies have. S can pass for her from a reasonable distance close enough to strike out and kill.

Just one pull and the minidress came off, revealing youthful perky breasts bound by a strapless nubra and plain white panties. Not all Petals wear panties even when they were suppose to be at work. S whistled quietly.

"So conservative."

She stripped the Petal's wristbands, stockings and shoes but kept her modesty intact. S didn't want to share underwear beside the stockings, and she's naughty enough to go commando under the revealing minidress. When she finished dressing up and started to undo the Petal's hair buns, the girl already died from the morphine injection. A relaxed, dreamy smile was on her unresponsive face.

"Don't say I didn't watch out for you."

She picked the almost naked corpse up and spanked her lightly. The smooth skin was still warm, it feels even more fleshy than all the touching on the first girl. S sighed.

She dropped the girl onto the same bunk in the dorm room and covered them up. If the bodies are discovered, this can buy her some extra time or humiliate the living Petals some more.

The next target was the camera monitor room one floor downstairs, afterwards she would have free reign on the entire bank building. Bai Bi was using Petals for everything they run here. S couldn't understand what ensured the Petals' loyalty, maybe the rumor about them being clones is real.

She met no one on the way to the security room. She was a little dissappointed for not having a chance to test the effectiveness of her disguise. Inside there was still only one Petal with a ponytail, sitting still in front of many security camera screens, noticing S as she came in. S was glad that she avoided all cameras when coming in and killing the first two.

The Petal did not immediately turn around, this gave S the chance to jump on her and wrap arms around her neck. A little lifting up, a fast pull to the left, a muffled cough as hee windpipe was broken along with the spine, and the Petal was down with a textbook neck snap. An unconscious spasm was all the response she had for S. She became dead weight in S' arms immediately, her legs losing control to keep supporting her torso.

S knelt down and allowed the dead girl to fall backwards with her chair, but still holding her by the neck to slow her down, like she was caring about not to make the Petal hurt from the fall. She was not completely uncaring, one reason being how good this Petal looked. The curves under this minidress were making her thirsty. She wanted to unwrap this ripe fruit and bury her face in the soft, smooth flesh right now, but her fight has not finished.

The cameras showed four remaining Petals, one in the conference room on this floor and three on lower floors. The one in the conference room had just received a call from some man in a suit. S shut down the outgoing Internet and telephone connections from the building. The surveillance videos would be collected later.

"Check the lift for me, I'm dealing with this one first. You have permission to shoot of they want to leave."

"Got it. Don't worry, I won't leave any blood where it matters."

The dead Petal in the chair still kept her legs crossed to the left, same side her broken neck was facing. Her arms were half spread on either side, like she was waiting for a hug. S leaned down and gave her one, kissing her on the cheek. The girl's face in death was calm but pitiful, eyes closed, mouth half open in a sad smile, like she was admitting defeat and asking forgiveness.

S pulled the corpse back up together with the chair and pushed it closer to the desk. She snapped the girl's neck back into place. This would not bring her back to life, but it would confuse anyone checking on her for a little longer. The dead Petal would stay on her station leaning on her desk, as if asleep.

To be continued...
 
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NNin

Ryonani Teamster
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
This is getting good >:3
Bai Bi's board of directors should had more concern about the previous mercenary group.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
This is getting good >:3
Bai Bi's board of directors should had more concern about the previous mercenary group.
The previous mercenary group's bosses are ex CIA and Mossad, something like that, they hold onto their territories tightly by all means, even the illegal ones! The local cops know that, so as long as nobody innocent gets killed in their business wars, they won't look. Maybe some day they will send S on a job to help Bai Bi though.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
S pushed the conference room's door open with no sound. The Petal who would be the team boss was still sitting at the table, looking at her laptop that had just been disconnected. Quietly, S walked around the table to approach her from the back. She wanted to use the fishing wire this time, which is now hiding under the standard Petal wristband. Without the boss, the rest of the team should be easy to exterminate one by one.

The Petal suddenly stood up, checking S out from top to bottom as S did the same to her. She was tall, just as young but more muscular, a single long braid tied into an elegant top knot with a hair bun, not wearing any stockings like the others. There was a sword strapped on her waist.

"They told me about you coming, said I should have a combat field test."

She said in perfect english as she drew the sword. S cursed her boss in her mind, she should have expected something going wrong when they gave her the green light to attack. A combat field test for the Petal is the same for her. It didn't exactly mean she was abandoned by the company, but they wanted some extra challenges.

The Petal was very fast with her sword in the tightly packed conference room. The first strike at S already grazed her shoulder, it did not scratch her skin but tore through the minidress.

S dodged the next strike and pulled out the fishing wire on her left wrist. It was made with very tough carbon fiber material, and could be used to deflect or tangle the sword if she ran out of room.

"Do you know which one of you I took this dress from?"

"I don't care unless it's the new one."

S was surprised that not all Petals share some kind of sisterly bond. However, this was interesting information.

"The new one?"

A slash at S' waist made a new cut on the dress. S felt soon she would be fighting naked in another few cuts.

"The company wanted a special new girl to fight you. However, I will be the one taking you down and getting the promotion!"

The Petal's sword came straight at her chest. S bound it with the fishing wire between her fists, and pulled it to her left side. She guided the sword to stick into the dirt in a large decorative flowerpot behind her, and tripped the Petal over as she kept coming.

S released the wire's handle from her right hand and jumped onto the conference table, then went across it to where the Petal's computer sat. The Petal fought hard to pull the sword out of the flowerpot, but it stuck too deep. She turned back, climbed onto the table, and readied herself in a pose for hand to hand fighting.

The Petal's underwear was visible to S from where she stood. Black. She whistled in approval, but the Petal did not understand what she meant.

S jumped onto the conference table again, matched the Petal's pose, then leaped forward with both her legs aimed at the Petal's stomach. Her opponent saw it coming immediately, turned her torso out of the way and smiled. She saw that S was trying to break her Chi armor.

Then, the Petal fell onto her back, a very hard landing on the table. The remaining Petals were too further downstairs, or they must have heard the crash. The fishing wire caught her neck when S made the leap and she turned to her left. She clawed at the wire as she was pulled back, in extreme terror.

S landed on the floor and knelt down, kept pulling the Petal towards her but wrapped the wire tightly around the girl's neck a few times more. This would stop the blood flow to the Petal's brain fast, and give S more time to deal with the rest of the team if they also knew she was coming.

S stood up pulling the Petal's upper body up with her, back to back tight. The girl kept scratching at S' torn dress, but her nails were not sharp enough to hurt much. The scratching and kicking on the table were louder than the Petal's desperate choked breathing. S pitied her more than the previous ones because she felt the most alive to her, a fighter, a thinking person, not just a small target on a long list. Even the way this Petal dies felt the most alive.

S felt the scratching stop and the struggle became weaker but the kicking went on, so she turned around to look back. The Petal had started touching herself laying on the table, right hand under the lower edge of her dress and left hand into her cleavage window. One of her high heels was kicked off.

"Shhh. Easy there, girl."

S pulled the fishing wire tighter. She wanted to be more merciful to the Petal but she also felt jealous for not being able to join. A shudder soon came from behind her, then a smaller shudder some long seconds later, telling her it was okay to stop pulling.

The Petal had a steaming hot fit body, S knew that, but the cute corpse now quietly lying on the table was hot to the touch. The body temperature felt like she was having a high fever. S wondered if it could be a Chi armor thing, because she noticed that the thin fishing wire did not break the fragile skin on the Petal's neck at all. It was easy to tell that the girl was a confirmed kill, as there were no heartbeat or pulse anymore. She died with her eyes open and tongue out, the color of her face and her body no longer match each other. To S, she still looked beautiful.

S stripped herself down again as she enjoyed the view of her trophy. The minidress she took from the Petal in the toilet was in pieces and could not disguise her anymore. The one worn by the Petal team boss on the table was wet everywhere from drooling, sweating and orgasm.

"K, do you see any isolated tango?"

She called into her radio with one hand patting the dead girl down. She did not expect anything, it was just for fun.

"One downstairs. The other two are in the elevator, don't know where they are going."

"Perfect."

Wearing nothing except her hair bun, S laid down on the floor next to the fire escape stairs one floor down. She did her best to be motionless with her eyes half closed as if she was knocked out or killed herself. She did not bring any weapons, only one syringe hidden in her hand, the rest behind the stairwell door.

"Tango coming around the corner in four, three..."

She heard a gasp from outside her radio then running coming toward her. The Petal fell into her trap.

As the girl came close enough, S kicked her from the floor, hitting her behind the knees. Then, she kicked her in the stomach. The Petal sat down coughing for air, not understanding what just happened.

S brought the syringe out and put it into the Petal's open mouth. She stuck it under the girl's tongue and pushed all the morphine in. Then, she dragged the girl into the fire escape stairwell.

The minidress this Petal wore was pink, for bank desk duty, not red for guards. She also had short white socks instead of long stockings. Then, S was surprised by what she realized when she checked out her face and hairstyle. This girl had starred in some Petal porn movies and celebrity sex tapes she watched, with a beauty mark on her right chin and one short side ponytail. She had the same lacy white panties too.

"I'm so sorry, I liked how you look."

She was being honest. However, the morphine injection did not give S any way to go back and secure the porn star Petal in a non lethal way. S felt bad to have exploited her kindness, after fighting the Petal team boss who had no compassion. She held the girl close and kissed her, first on the lips then on the exposed chest. The Petal was still breathing, but becoming weaker.

She went back to stripping. Another surprise came to her, the Petal was busty and topless, but had scars from breast implants. Bai Bi must have paid a lot on plastic surgery to make them have the same face, and different bodies for different tastes.

The girl coughed sleepily and tried to open her eyes, the injection under her tongue was choking her. S laid her flat then tightly clutched onto her throat with one hand. Another gurgling cough came but it felt weaker. S gave her breasts a few gentle strokes to comfort her. Then another cough happened, the girl twitched and stopped moving, head leaned to a side, drool flowing down her cheek like a waterfall.

S took everything the Petal wore but the lacy panties. She also let left her hairstyle intact because she changed her own hair bun to match the style. This Petal looked very unique, but S knew confusing and angering the enemy were as useful as disguising.

"Boss, they found all the bodies. Now they are coming back down for the lobby."

She took a deep breath and headed down.

One of the two Petals in the lobby waited in front at the elevator and the other near the stairwell door. The latter was petite, just like the first one in the dorm, with Two hair buns on a short bob cut. The other one had a long ponytail. Both of them wore white stockings instead of black. The more important thing was they both had pistols out.

"Report to me! What happened?"

The Petal shouted in Chinese. S covered her lower face with both hands and coughed, but kept walking towards her.

"What..."

S jumped at the Petal with her right knee forward, hitting her in the bottom of her rib cage. The Petal dropped the pistol and bent over, dazed. S did not have her a chance to relax, but punched her left hand upwards under the Petal's chin. A sharp crack was heard around the lobby and the Petal fell backwards, sat on her knees shakily then lied down dead with a broken neck.

The ponytail Petal threw her pistol away before S could pick the bob cut Petal's gun up.

"Thank you for saving me the trouble. It's hard to write the after action report if I shot that one."

The ponytail Petal had the same voice as S. Then, S looked harder and saw her own face.

"Let's go over this quick. Your boss is way more closer to Bai Bi than you thought, he was trying to set up a formal partnership. His offers included security contracts for cities we operate in, and genetic data from every female mercenary in the payroll including you and K. I am the new you, the better version of you."

"A Chinese copy of me. I must say they have a good taste!"

The Petal clone of S drew her sword, threw the sheath behind her, and pointed it at S.

"Let's show everyone a good dance!"

S threw the gun at her clone's head, and raised the dead Petal on the floor up. Clone Petal dodged the gun, but S shoved the corpse into her path before she could strike.

Clone Petal pushed the body away with the free hand. She must have an order of minimizing damage to surroundings too, thought S. She had planned to let the sword get stuck in the dead girl or knock it off, but there was no luck.

The clone came at S from another direction, swinging the sword like she was dancing. S stretched her fishing wire out and prepared to tangle the sword between her fists. She made a leap to go towards the sword, but the clone Petal pulled back at the last second and grinned at her.

"I know every trick you have!"

The Petal made a very accurate cut and sliced the wire in half. There was more hidden inside the roll on S' wrist, but it would be harder to pull out and hold onto in combat.

S retreated towards a row of computers used by bank employees in the lobby. The clone followed like she have guessed. She must be trying to prove how superior to the original she is by perfectly following her order to guard the bank's property. S also wanted to prove her own superiority over the copy, but she was having a hard time thinking of advantages on her hands. The Petal was faster, armed with a sword and bulletproof Chi armor, and not exhausted from earlier fighting. She even had longer, smoother hair.

The Petal was within sword reach and sliced at S horizontally. S ducked down and rolled away, not caring about how bad this may have looked in a minidress. The clone followed but kept distance, her sword raised high.

S threw out her two last remaining syringes at the same time. The clone blocked both of them with her sword, just as S expected. Before the clone could pose her sword again, S kicked her straight in the right hand which held the sword. The sword fell off and the girl backed off in pain. A normal soldier or even a normal Petal would have cursed and screamed, but she only frowned.

S then kicked the sword away as she stood up. The Petal regained her pose too, and punched at S with her left hand. S moved aside to let clone Petal pass, then grabbed onto the long ponytail tight.

Wrapping both their left arms in the long hair, S dragged the girl identical to her down to the floor and stretched the clone's right arm straight backwards using her own right hand. She pressed both knees onto the back of the elbow, dislocating it.

The Petal screamed in pain. It sounded different than S' memory of herself being injured, more animal like, more child like too. Time to finally end this night.

Left arm still tightly locked with the clone's, S dragged both of them slowly towards the sword on the floor. She picked it up, and gently pressed it onto her clone's neck.

"Any last words?"

"You can't... You can't... Ahh!"

Pain from the broken arm stopped the Petal from saying anything more, she kept gasping, even started sobbing a little.

"No, I don't know either. Sorry."

S ran out of patience. She made a fast cut, opened the clone's artery and windpipe with no resistance. Then, she dripped the sword and held her right hand on the girl's waist tight from the back. There was no sexual touching, S tried to be compassionate to the Petal who once tried steal her identity. The hot blood washed over both of them, and S started to feel relaxed for the first time this night.

"Good work, kid. You call for cleanup anytime you want. Go get a shower."

The voice in S' radio this time came from her boss. The man could be very demanding on her performance, but deep down he wouldn't sell her out.

Epilogue
The next evening, the board of directors' room of the American headquarters of Bai Bi industries was in heated debate. A man and a woman stood in front of a video conference screen with two older men facing them.

On another screen was a terrible scene laid out in detail, but presented in a strange way that could be called loving. The seven Petals killed in the incident were laid side by side on a wooden floor of an unknown building somewhere. Each of them were dressed in a set of spotless clean white pajamas, barefoot and hair undone, with pink ribbons tied around where they were injured and where the killing blow hit. It was S' idea and handiwork to pay them respect and reflect her own victory. The dead Petals looked more peaceful and beautiful in death than in life.

"Professor, this was a waste of money and lives. Your new generation clone had no improvement over the orphan soldiers, yet went on the mission without sufficient training."

One of the men on the screen was Shen Long, chief of the Petal field operation.

"It was your insufficient training."

The man he referred to as the Professor complained.

"You did not gave her enough time! She have not learned teamwork or leadership."

Shen Long was irritated.

"It was insubordination from one of your top student that stopped the team from preparing defense."

The Professor shouted back, but the woman next to him, the CEO Bai Meihua, gave him no support. Her eyes were fixed on the Petals' sweet sleeping faces. The white pajamas made the dead girls look like angels, pink ribbons a cold but not grotesque reminder of their errors. Broken necks were made straight again, so was the clone's dislocated arm. Painful expressions all fixed by S, as nicely as she could. Even the sword cut was sewn back. However, S' boss did not mention her role in the incident at all.

"Enough! It was pointless. The Americans were open to our offer in the first place. Showing them weakness did not build their trust in us."

Bai Yong, the founder of Bai Bi, said sternly.

"However, we gave their ego a boost. They were running dry, needed our money to operate, and we need a new partner in the American Midwest. We can build a mutually beneficial relation from there. This can be a night we all put behind."

"Yes, yes, I will put it behind and go back to step one with cloning experiments."

The Professor brought the topic back to his work. Shen Long was about to speak but Bai Yong waved him down.

"Correct. Your project has not been changed in any way, but you should no longer interfere in training and field operation matters."

The Professor grinned. Bai Meihua pushed him aside.

"We lost six people because of him. His clone Petal is also our loss. We can't even bring them home. Old man, did you just say we should forget their sacrifices and keep doing business without the American mercenaries having to pay?"

"I understand you. Be assured, I will not deploy Petals to the United States outside of being your personal guard. Not all is lost for the Petals either. The Americans have sent them to a cryo storage lab they owned and gave me their DNA files."

The video conference shut down. Bai Meihua waited for the Professor to leave, and started sobbing in front of the screen. The clone Petal's face appeared relaxed and and apologetic to her, as if telling her none of it was her fault.
 
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osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Finally it is done, about six months in the making. The next story have Petals Lang and Hui as the protagonists! The story could be a little dark like this one, but it has a triumphant and happy end for the Petals.
 

NNin

Ryonani Teamster
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
I once planned to make Petals cloned soldier but changed that because with that idea, it is hard for me to make a story about them as the main characters. This is good idea if cloned Petals are in another sect. of Bai Bi. Great inspiration.

The fight is fast paced as it should be but still easy to follow. Nice read :3
Sexiness and dead are also good for typical zako story.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
I once planned to make Petals cloned soldier but changed that because with that idea, it is hard for me to make a story about them as the main characters. This is good idea if cloned Petals are in another sect. of Bai Bi. Great inspiration.

The fight is fast paced as it should be but still easy to follow. Nice read :3
Sexiness and dead are also good for typical zako story.
Thank you! I am interested in how expendable the Petals can be so I wrote what I thought about the idea. The Petals in this story all have different personalities and identities, they have their own lives. I tried to make them as different to each other as possible. The porn star Petal wore a pink minidress because I saw in one drawing Hui has one.

S knew she was fighting and killing real people, so she was respectful to the Petals in her own way. She didn't feel too much regret though, because work is work and corporation warfare is a fact of life for her. To unwind after this incident, she will dress in a recovered Petal minidress and have a lot of role play sex with her boyfriend D. The sniper K will not join them because she thinks the dressing up feels wrong.

Since Bai Meihua first adopted all the orphans when she was young, I imagined her to be very kind to the Petals.
 

NNin

Ryonani Teamster
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Yes, Meihua might looks like a cool business woman but she has kind part inside. She isn't fully suited to be Bai Bi's successor if they want to be No.1 company of this hidden (zako) warring world, using iron fist.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
I agree sexiness and death are important in zako stories. I made the Petals' enemy S appreciate how sexy they are. She is always distracted by their lovely appearance and reputation, so she wanted to conquer them. The Petals' sexy deaths caused S to be more thirsty but she can't bring them back to life for sex, in this way they conquered her. She cleaned and redressed all the dead Petals so she can stay with them longer, look at their sexy bodies and touch them without a fight going on.

Because the corpses are stored in a cryo storage lab, maybe there is a chance in the future they will be brought back to life...

Yes, Meihua might looks like a cool business woman but she has kind part inside. She isn't fully suited to be Bai Bi's successor if they want to be No.1 company of this hidden (zako) warring world, using iron fist.
As long as she can be a cute and warm older sister to them, I think the Petals will be very loyal to her and help her in every way.
 
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osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
"Before" and "after" of the petals, remade with better details and posing.

From left to right:
Smothered
Morphine injection on inner thigh
Neck broken
Strangled with fishing wire
Morphine injection under tongue
Neck broken
Arm broken, neck cut with sword
190128kisekaea.jpg

85**aa7.0.0.0.50.7.0.0.0.50_ab_ac_ba50_bb5.1_bc733.500.6.0.1.0_bd5_be180_bf2.61.0.0.0.30.64.4.4.360.5_bg_bh0_ca52.0.30.61.21.34.34.0.23.0.60.80_da1.0.0.100_db_dd0.3.34.50.22.50_dh1.30.50.50.0_di7_qa_qb_dc0.1.1.1.1.0_eh4.524149.60_ea7.524149.524149.56.0.0_ec_ed20.69.1.1.524149.56_ef_eg_r00_fa6.50.55.38.50.65.56_fb7_fh9_fc0.49.55.0.49.55.30.61.61.30.50.50_fj0.0.0_fd0.0.50.524149.56_fe50.61_ff0000000000_fg0.50.56.0.0.1.0.0_fi_pa0.0.0.0.40.50.85.85.0.0_t00_pb_pc_pd_pe_ga1_gb0.0.66.49.65_gc16.0_ge0000000000_gh0_gf_gg_gd000000_ha67.67_hb49.1.44.99.99.49.44_hc0.60.35.0.60.35_hd0.1.49.49.2.60.50.50_ad0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0_ae1.0.0.0.0_ia_if_ib_id7.3.43.6.0.0.1.1.42.55.1.42.55.17_ic_jc_ie_ja8.55.59.55_jb8.55.59.55_jf_jg_jd8.3.26.26.0.60.0.0_je8.3.26.26.0.60.0.0_ka_kb_kc_kd_ke_kf_kg_la_lb_oa_os_ob_oc_od_oe_of_lc_m0026.55.43.0.0.1.40.50.600.800.3.61.40.500.0.0.1_n00_s00_og4.3.3.3_oh4.3.3.3_oo_op_oq_or_om_on_ok_ol_oi_oj_f00

190128kisekae.jpg

85**aa8.0.0.49.50.8.0.0.49.50_ab_ac_ba62_bb30.0_bc729.500.7.0.1.0_bd30_be180_bf2.61.0.0.0.30.64.4.4.360.5_bg_bh0_ca52.0.30.61.21.34.34.0.23.0.60.80_da1.0.0.100_db_dd0.3.34.50.22.50_dh1.30.50.50.0_di7_qa_qb_dc0.1.1.1.1.0_eh4.524149.60_ea7.524149.524149.56.0.0_ec_ed20.69.1.1.524149.56_ef_eg_r00_fa6.50.55.38.50.65.56_fb7_fh9_fc0.49.55.0.49.55.30.61.61.30.50.50_fj0.0.0_fd0.0.50.524149.56_fe50.61_ff0000000000_fg0.50.56.0.0.1.0.0_fi_pa0.0.0.0.40.50.85.85.0.0_t00_pb_pc_pd_pe_ga0_gb0.0.66.49.65_gc0.31_ge0000000000_gh0_gf_gg_gd000000_ha48.48_hb50.1.100.0.0.50.100_hc0.60.0.0.60.0_hd6.1.100.100.2.60.50.50_ad0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0_ae1.0.0.0.0_ia_if_ib_id11.56.56.6.0.0.1.30.55.6.30.55.6.3_ic_jc_ie5.56.43.56.6.56.56.0.6.56.56.0.0_ja_jb_jf_jg_jd_je_ka_kb_kc_kd_ke_kf_kg_la_lb_oa_os_ob_oc_od_oe_of_lc_m0048.1.1.59.2.2.34.7.0.286.3.61.34.500.0.0.1_n00_s00_og_oh_oo_op_oq_or_om_on_ok_ol_oi_oj_f00
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Petal S with S and K, spy and sniper duo.
190128kisekaesd.jpg


85**aa7.0.0.0.50.7.0.0.0.50_ab_ac_ba50_bb5.1_bc500.500.7.0.1.0_bd5_be180_bf2.61.0.0.0.30.64.4.4.360.5_bg_bh1_ca64.0.30.62.42.34.34.0.57.0.60.80_da1.0.0.100_db_dd0.3.34.50.50.50_dh1.30.50.50.0_di6_qa_qb_dc0.1.1.1.1.0_eh1.53.60_ea54.53.53.56.1.0_ec4.0.53.53.56.0.67.1_ed47.32.0.0.53.56_ef17.2.34.53.53.56.49.1_eg17.2.34.53.53.56.49.1_r0147.53.53.56.1.1.50.50.0.548.420.0.2.500.1_fa6.51.60.57.48.75.56_fb_fh_fc0.1.55.0.1.55.49.61.61.49.50.51_fj0.0.0_fd8.0.50.53.56_fe50.61_ff0000000000_fg0.50.56.50.56.1.0.0_fi_pa0.53.0.0.40.50.85.85.0.0_t00_pb_pc_pd_pe_ga1_gb0.3.100.49.100_gc0.0_ge0000000000_gh0_gf_gg_gd000000_ha89.89_hb49.1.44.99.99.49.44_hc1.99.40.1.99.40_hd0.1.49.49.2.60.50.50_ad0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0_ae1.0.0.0.0_ia_if_ib7.19.55.59.0.1.0.1.5.22.55.5.22.55.1_id_ic_jc_ie1.56.43.45.6.59.59.0.6.59.59.0.1_ja_jb_jf_jg_jd11.55.6.55.0.60.0.0_je11.55.6.55.0.60.0.0_ka1.57.57.0.0_kb1.57.57.0_kc_kd_ke_kf_kg_la_lb_oa_os_ob_oc_od_oe_of_lc_m00_n00_s00_og_oh_oo_op_oq_or_om_on_ok_ol_oi_oj_f00

S posing with her dead clone.
190128kisekaes.jpg
 
Last edited:

NNin

Ryonani Teamster
Joined
Dec 1, 2010
Seeing this, how about insert a pic between the story after you made the scene? :3
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Seeing this, how about insert a pic between the story after you made the scene? :3
Sorry, I think the pictures work better as a bonus or visual guide... Though here is the codes for the last picture.

88**aa7.0.0.0.50.7.0.0.0.50_ab_ac_ba50_bb6.1_bc619.500.5.0.1.0_bd6_be180_bf2.61.0.0.0.30.64.4.4.360.5_bg_bh1_ca62.0.30.65.20.34.34.0.20.0.60.80_da0.0.0.100_db_dd0.3.34.50.50.50_dh0.24.50.50.8_di9_qa_qb_dc7.1.0.0.0.0_eh1.48.80_ea34.48.48.56.0.0_ec1.40.48.48.56.24.57.0_ed37.64.1.1.48.56_ef_eg_r0057.48.48.56.1.0.60.60.360.561.600.1.2.500.1_fa6.50.50.50.50.45.56_fb8_fh1_fc0.40.55.0.40.55.50.61.61.50.50.48_fj0.0.0_fd5.0.50.48.56_fe50.61_ff0000000000_fg0.50.56.0.0.1.0.0_fi_pa0.48.0.0.40.50.85.85.0.0_t00_pb_pc_pd_pe_ga0_gb0.0.66.49.65_gc18.31_ge0000000000_gh0_gf_gg_gd000000_ha22.22_hb50.1.100.0.0.50.100_hc0.50.50.0.50.50_hd38.0.100.100.4.60.50.49_ad0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0_ae1.3.3.0.0_ia_if_ib_id_ic_jc_ie_ja_jb_jf_jg_jd_je_ka_kb6.8.8.8_kc_kd_ke_kf_kg_la_lb_oa_os_ob_oc_od_oe_of_lc_m00_n00_s00_og_oh_oo_op_oq_or_om_on_ok_ol_oi_oj_f00
 

Charlie06

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 19, 2020
This one took me a little bit to get through. I started to check it out when posted on one of my story threads at the Uniformstealing board. I like the concept you came up with for sure. The action though written kinda long winded moved fast enough. As said in your stories your description are kinda long. Its an issue I have to so not saying its bad everyone writes in their own style. Its just one they're a little long the reader gets lost and have to back trap. I had to do that a few times. I liked the story though and you're a fine writer too. From my experience, just keep on writing and your issues will cure itself. Over the years that I have written I find that my descriptions have gotten shorter and my work is easier to follow and I can still get what I want the reader to see as well. Its really just find a happy median in your style that'll you'll be happy with in the end. I mean if you don't see any issues then its fine, don't mean to knock on you're style or anything, just my observations. From one exotic fiction writer to another. In any case nice story and I enjoyed the illustrations at the end. Wish I had someone able illustrate Susie Yoshida's body count like that.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
This one took me a little bit to get through. I started to check it out when posted on one of my story threads at the Uniformstealing board. I like the concept you came up with for sure. The action though written kinda long winded moved fast enough. As said in your stories your description are kinda long. Its an issue I have to so not saying its bad everyone writes in their own style. Its just one they're a little long the reader gets lost and have to back trap. I had to do that a few times. I liked the story though and you're a fine writer too. From my experience, just keep on writing and your issues will cure itself. Over the years that I have written I find that my descriptions have gotten shorter and my work is easier to follow and I can still get what I want the reader to see as well. Its really just find a happy median in your style that'll you'll be happy with in the end. I mean if you don't see any issues then its fine, don't mean to knock on you're style or anything, just my observations. From one exotic fiction writer to another. In any case nice story and I enjoyed the illustrations at the end. Wish I had someone able illustrate Susie Yoshida's body count like that.
Thank you! The illustration is made with a tool on Flash or Adobe AIR called Kisekae 2.
 

osw

Club Regular
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
This one took me a little bit to get through. I started to check it out when posted on one of my story threads at the Uniformstealing board. I like the concept you came up with for sure. The action though written kinda long winded moved fast enough. As said in your stories your description are kinda long. Its an issue I have to so not saying its bad everyone writes in their own style. Its just one they're a little long the reader gets lost and have to back trap. I had to do that a few times. I liked the story though and you're a fine writer too. From my experience, just keep on writing and your issues will cure itself. Over the years that I have written I find that my descriptions have gotten shorter and my work is easier to follow and I can still get what I want the reader to see as well. Its really just find a happy median in your style that'll you'll be happy with in the end. I mean if you don't see any issues then its fine, don't mean to knock on you're style or anything, just my observations. From one exotic fiction writer to another. In any case nice story and I enjoyed the illustrations at the end. Wish I had someone able illustrate Susie Yoshida's body count like that.
A thing I wanted to ask you about, more like personal taste than writing advice: What do you think about describing “realistic” signs of death like blood, Choking face turning blue and losing bladder control? I include some of them when I think they make the scene hotter, though I do like your stories where the bad girls die pretty and leave behind clean clothing.
 

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