I am genuinely curious as to why, sexually, whether it was real would make any difference. I mean, I'm the same way as you where any actual violence toward anyone, really, is reprehensible. How is it a fetish can grow around strictly fantasy? That is to say, it's sexy when it's fake and not when it's real? Having said that, I'm very very greatful this distinction exists, but I'd really like to know the psychological reason why. Because people can't really control what turns them on, can they? (Not a rhetorical question) Extremely tricky... hadn't even thought of that before. I'm not sure what that means, exactly. I mean if one didn't know the difference and were turned on by both? I don't think I'd take part in that experiment - not sure I want to find out the result.