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Randomized dialogue

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by maiden0788, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. maiden0788

    maiden0788 Potential Patron

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    Hey guys, I've been a lurker of this board for a while and I love SDT. I've made a dialogue file that picks one of 6 different scenarios based on which first_dt line is chosen. It's my first dialogue so let me know what you think!

    [attachurl=1]
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Lizoran

    Lizoran Avid Affiliate

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    It's pretty good, great work :D
     
  3. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    As always, when writing a dialogue,
    use the DialogueChecker! (Guess you should have lurked moar XD)

    The output:
    Dialogue was checked in 538 ms with v2.07 of the DialogueChecker.
    I found 16 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 0 were major issues, and 16 were minor issues.
    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 43, col 12 near "first_dt:"Oh , (...)"
    Line 43: first_dt:"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS]Oh *YOU*, that was amazing! I love you!"{"set":{"love":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 43: first_dt:"Oh , that was amazing! I love you!"{"set":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Sentence starting with a comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 54, col 8 near "general:", (...)"
    Line 54: general:"*YOU*, I love you so much!" {"next":"love1","check":{"love":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 54: general:", I love you so much!" {"next":"love1","check":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before period for new line on line 61, col 42 near "(...) you, . It (...)"
    Line 61: hand_job_stroke:"I love doing this to you, *YOU*. It gets me off...[DROOL]"{"check":{"love":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 61: hand_job_stroke:"I love doing this to you, . It gets me off..."{"check":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 87, col 20 near "(...) yes, , (...)"
    Line 87: cum_on_face:"Oh yes, *YOU*, that feels amazing!"{"check":{"love":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 87: cum_on_face:"Oh yes, , that feels amazing!"{"check":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: !.) on line 96, col 78 near "(...) tooooaahahahhh!..I (...)"
    Line 96: cum_in_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Ohhh, god..[ARMS_LOOSE] I'm cumming tooooaahahahhh!..I can't believe how amazing he is!"{"style":"Thought","check":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 99, col 33 near "(...) me, !"{"check":{"love":"true"}}"
    Line 99: cum_in_throat:"Give it all to me, [ARMS_HIS_LEGS]*YOU*!"{"check":{"love":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 99: cum_in_throat:"Give it all to me, !"{"check":{"love":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Grammatical error (space before question mark) on line 132, col 32 near "(...) it, ?"{"style":"Him","held":"true","check":{"s(...)"
    Line 132: general:"How bad do you want it, *ME*?"{"style":"Him","held":"true","check":{"sub":"true","chapter":0},"next":"bad1"}
    Stripped Line 132: general:"How bad do you want it, ?"{"style":"Him","held":"true","check":{"sub":"true","chapter":0},"next":"bad1"}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 172, col 25 near "(...) yours, , (...)"
    Line 172: cum_in_throat:"I'm yours, *YOU*, all yours..."{"held":"true","check":{"sub":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 172: cum_in_throat:"I'm yours, , all yours..."{"held":"true","check":{"sub":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 202, col 11 near "restart:"Oh , (...)"
    Line 202: restart:"Oh *YOU*, you're making my head spin after cumming *FINISHES*..."{"held":"true","check":{"sub":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 202: restart:"Oh , you're making my head spin after cumming *FINISHES*..."{"held":"true","check":{"sub":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 221, col 22 near "hand_job_stroke:"Ohhh, , (...)"
    Line 221: hand_job_stroke:"Ohhh, *ME*, you know exactly what pleases me..."{"style":"Him","check":{"dom":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 221: hand_job_stroke:"Ohhh, , you know exactly what pleases me..."{"style":"Him","check":{"dom":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Grammatical error (space before exclamation mark) on line 244, col 28 near "(...) me, !"{"check":{"dom":"true"}}"
    Line 244: pre_cum:"Oh yes! Cum for me, *YOU*!"{"check":{"dom":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 244: pre_cum:"Oh yes! Cum for me, !"{"check":{"dom":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 251, col 15 near "cum_on_face:"Oh , (...)"
    Line 251: cum_on_face:"Oh *ME*, that was amazing!"{"style":"Him","check":{"dom":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 251: cum_on_face:"Oh , that was amazing!"{"style":"Him","check":{"dom":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 253, col 17 near "cum_on_face:"Ohhh , (...)"
    Line 253: cum_on_face:"Ohhh *YOU*, make me glow with your cum!"{"mood":"Ahegao","check":{"dom":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 253: cum_on_face:"Ohhh , make me glow with your cum!"{"mood":"Ahegao","check":{"dom":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before period for new line on line 417, col 37 near "(...) you, . You're (...)"
    Line 417: restart:"I'll never get bored of you, *ME*. You're my slave now, and I will have you every night."{"style":"Him","next":"broken6","mood":"Ahegao","held":"true","check":{"def":"true","chapter":3}}
    Stripped Line 417: restart:"I'll never get bored of you, . You're my slave now, and I will have you every night."{"style":"Him","next":"broken6","mood":"Ahegao","held":"true","check":{"def":"true","chapter":3}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Sentence starting with a comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 435, col 16 near "hand_job_stroke:", (...)"
    Line 435: hand_job_stroke:"*YOU*, you should fuck my pussy senseless.. I crave it."{"check":{"horny":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 435: hand_job_stroke:", you should fuck my pussy senseless.. I crave it."{"check":{"horny":"true"}}

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 525, col 13 near "restart:"Ohhh , (...)"
    Line 525: restart:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Ohhh *YOU*, you made me cum so much...please don't stop.. I need your cock!"{"check":{"horny":"true"}}
    Stripped Line 525: restart:"Ohhh , you made me cum so much...please don't stop.. I need your cock!"{"check":{"horny":"true"}}

    Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.
     
  4. maiden0788

    maiden0788 Potential Patron

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    I did use the Checker, I didn't want to fix some of the grammar issues because I wanted to give the impression that the girl wasn't thinking clearly in some parts, But I'm also not perfect XD
     
  5. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    I suggest you fix all the problems with the name insertions at the least.