jase dialogs (1 Viewer)

jase

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
The first dialog I started got pretty ambitious quickly. I'm not ready to let go of the scope of my idea, but it'll probably work out after I practice a few shorter ones first.

Personal Trainer:
dialogue_name:"Personal Trainer"
-- Add your favorite physical trainer and whatever gym CG for a backdrop -- I just used wiifit and a character I started but didn't have definite plans for.

all:"CLEAR"

initial_settings:{"fin":"ish"}
-- Dumb workaround so I can use "finish" as a string instead of a variable.

intro:"[RELEASE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][LOOK_UP]...and 33, and 34, aaaaand...[LOOK_DOWN]35! [BLINK]Good, that's the set![LOOK_UP]"{"next":"intro2"}
intro2:"<phew!>...I couldn't do another rep!"{"style":"Him","next":"intro3"}
intro3:"You did great![TAP_HANDS] But I [LOOK_DOWN]want you to do twenty more![LOOK_UP]"{"next":"intro4"}
intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] <groan> [BLINK] %0A I should've guessed..."{"style":"Him","next":"intro5"}
intro5:"That's right.[ANGRY_MOOD][SHOCK] This session isn't over until you give me [NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN]your best. [LOOK_UP]"{"next":"intro6"}
intro6:"....Alright, I'll try, but I'll probably collapse before I get 'em all."{"style":"Him","next":"intro7"}
intro7:"[BLINK]You'll do fine. [LOOK_UP]Don't worry, I'll be here to hold [LOOK_DOWN]your weight for you [LOOK_UP]if you need me to.[BLINK]"{"next":"intro8"}
intro8:"Here goes[LOOK_DOWN] <-hrught! > [LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]...one... %0A Umm, [LOOK_UP]what're..?"{"style":"Him","next":"intro9"}
intro9:"Hm...[LOOK_DOWN]<sniff>[NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK] you've worked up a sweat down here... %0A [LOOK_UP] It's pretty hot..."{"next":"intro10"}
intro10:"eh, uh, I guess so[HAPPY_MOOD]..."{"style":"Him","next":"intro11"}
intro11:"Well, it's not time for it to cool down[LOOK_DOWN] just yet. %0A [TAP_HANDS]You have to[LOOK_UP] keep it up..."{"next":"intro12"}
intro12:"<guh-!> I don't think I can hold this much longer..!"{"style":"Him","next":"intro13"}
intro13:"I [SHOCK]know you can.[LOOK_DOWN] So keep going,[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][ARMS_HAND_JOB] and show me what you got!"

resistance:"I don't hear you counting. [RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]Do we have to start over from the beginning?"{"next":"resist","held":"false"}
resistance:"Looking good,[RIGHT_ARM_LEGS] keep it steady now...[LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]"{"next":"resist","held":"false"}
resistance:"You're doing great, but I think you could handle [RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]a little more pressure."{"next":"resist","held":"false"}
resistance:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Let's take your resistance training [RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB] to the next level..."{"next":"resist","held":"false"}
resistance:"[LOOK_UP][ANGRY_MOOD]Hey! You should have your hands full right now! [RELEASE][NORMAL_MOOD]Now get to it -- I want to hear you push![LOOK_DOWN][ARMS_HAND_JOB]"{"next":"resist","held":"true"}

resist:" <-ooof! huff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <gah-! gasp, puff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <groan- puff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <grunt, huff, eeeugh-!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <gulp, pant, pant!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <pant, pant-- nngh-!>"{"style":"Him"}
resist:" <uuuuagh-! gasp, pant!>"{"style":"Him"}

first_throat:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS]Great work, but now[LOOK_UP] %0A [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]I want you to give me all you got![HOLD]"
first_throat:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS]Whew, that's enough warm-up. %0A [LOOK_UP]Now I want you to [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]push yourself to the limit![HOLD]"
first_throat:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LOOK_DOWN]You're pushing hard, but[LOOK_UP]I know you can [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]give me harder...[HOLD]"

first_dt:"[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]Coming along well,[LOOK_DOWN] but you're just getting started -- keep going!"

general:"Don't put too much into one rep, you're going to wear yourself out too much to fin*fin*!"{"next":"resist","held":"true"}
general:"Good tone, but I want to feel you flexing harder!"{"next":"resist"}
general:"Good work-[SHOCK] I can feel the tension when you're really pushing yourself."{"next":"resist"}
general:"Inhale....exhale...don't forget to breathe!"{"next":"resist"}
general:"Keep it up, I know you can do it harder!"{"next":"resist"}
general:"Let's keep the pace up, you're going to lose momentum if you slow down now."{"next":"resist","held":"true"}
general:"That's good, hold for a second...inhale deep, steady your breathing...and let's go!"{"next":"resist"}
general:"Hey, [ANGRY_MOOD]don't slack off now! You're only cheating yourself! [HAPPY_MOOD]"{"next":"resist","held":"true"}

hand_job_stroke:" <whew!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}
pull_off:"<pant, pant>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}
vigorous:"[HAPPY_MOOD] <ngh-!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}

held:"<gasp!>"{"next":"general","held":"false"}
held:"[SHOCK][ARMS_LEGS][ARMS_HAND_JOB]Alright, you've held it long enough. [RELEASE][BLINK]Relax, shake it out...%0A[BLINK][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS]Now let's go again...[HOLD]"{"held":"true"}

lick_penis:"Your equipment could use some polishing."
lick_penis:"[LOOK_UP]Need to keep this [LOOK_DOWN]hydrated."

pulled_up:"[ANGRY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]Who said it was time for a break? Keep going, Mister![HAPPY_MOOD]"{"held":"false"}
pulled_down:"[ANGRY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]Who said it was time for a break? Keep going, Mister![HAPPY_MOOD]"{"held":"false"}

wake:"[LOOK_UP][ANGRY_MOOD]So, did you get a nice break while I was out? %0A [WINCE]I hope you're rested up, because now[NORMAL_MOOD][FACE_FUCK_STYLE] you're going to have to take it from the top![LOOK_UP]"

pre_cum:"[LOOK_DOWN]Feels like you're near the end of the set --[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_UP] Don't hold anything back now, I want you to push harder than ever!"
pre_cum:"[NORMAL_MOOD]Just a few more reps...give 'em to me hard and fast, and then you'll be ready to let go of your load."

cum_in_throat:"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Fantastic follow-through! [SHOCK][LOOK_DOWN]Your legs are trembling![SHOCK][LOOK_UP]%0A You really put everything you had into that stroke!"
cum_in_mouth:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Mmm, [BLINK]right on[LOOK_UP] target! Let me just check how you did here...[SWALLOW][OPEN_EYES]that's huge load you were holding onto!"
cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES][HAPPY_MOOD]Ah, just relax and let it go...doesn't that feel good?[OPEN_EYES]"
cum_in_eye:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][CLENCH_TEETH]... A little shaky there at the end.[WINCE][NORMAL_MOOD]You need to steady your breathing and keep your performance even-- %0A (hand me my towel, would you?)"

swallow:"[CLOSE_EYES]Mmm, feel the burn...[OPEN_EYES]makes all that hard work worth it, doesn't it?"
drool:"[NORMAL_MOOD]Oh! [LOOK_UP]That performance was a little more than[COUGH] I was prepared to measure...[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN]"

restart:"[RELEASE]<pant, pant> You really...[NORMAL_STYLE][LOOK_UP] <gasp>...know how to...[ARMS_LEGS]<pant, gulp> ramp up the billable hours..."{"style":"Him","next":"restart1a"}
restart:"[NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_LEGS]So, [LOOK_UP]you think you got a little [LOOK_DOWN]more in you?[LOOK_DOWN]"{"next":"restart2a"}
restart:"[NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_LEGS]Whew, I'm a little winded, now.[LOOK_UP]"{"next":"restart3a"}

restart1a:"[NORMAL_MOOD][BLINK]I'm off the clock, buddy.[LOOK_UP] I am not a prostitute.[TAP_HANDS]"{"next":"restart1b"}
restart1b:"Oh, I'm- ...So this is what you do with your personal time?"{"style":"Him","next":"restart1c"}
restart1c:"[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]For a start.[LOOK_UP]"

restart2a:"[RELEASE]<gasp>...if I say...<pant, gasp>...no...<pant, pant> you'll just <huff,gulp> make me do twenty more..."{"style":"Him","next":"restart2b"}
restart2b:"[LOOK_DOWN]Well, then[LOOK_UP] what[SHOCK] DO you say?[LOOK_UP]"{"next":"restart2c"}
restart2c:"%22...I couldn't do another rep!%22"{"style":"Him","next":"restart2d"}
restart2d:"[HAPPY_MOOD]In that case[FACE_FUCK_STYLE] I want twenty more![ARMS_HAND_JOB]"

restart3a:"<pant, gasp>...so is it <huff, pant> time to cool down?[BLINK] %0A ...hit the showers, maybe?"{"style":"Him","next":"restart3b"}
restart3b:"[SHOCK]Ooo,[LOOK_UP] a shower does sound nice -- I think we've earned one.%0A [BLINK]But it would be a waste right now,[LOOK_DOWN] cause all I want to do is [HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]get sweaty with you some more..."{"style":"Him"}

cough:"-achf"
cough:"-ack"
cough:"-ackph"
cough:"-aghck"
cough:"-agph"

interrupt:"-!"
interrupt:"-ghch!"
interrupt:"-ghmph!"
interrupt:"-mmb!"
interrupt:"-mmbh!"
interrupt:"-mmbh!"
interrupt:"-mmn!"
interrupt:"-mnh!"
interrupt:"-mph!"
interrupt:"-mphh!"
interrupt:"-ng!"
interrupt:"-nngh!"

This one is pretty lightweight, brief and kind of a cliche porn situation. I'm not real happy with the timing of expressions and their order with the words. A few times I added expressions just to create a pause where a dick could go, because any SDT dialog could be improved with more cocksucking.

I'll expand this later to integrate DialogActions and animtools, and probably come up with lines that could fit into the vanilla version as well.
 

Attachments

Personal Trainer.txt
8.1 KB · Views: 1,174

Familiar Needs.txt
11.5 KB · Views: 645

jase

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
Familiar Needs has been a WIP for a long time,even before Personal Trainer. After fleshing out the concept in a different game I don't think I want to reproduce it here. There was going to be a bad end, but the player should've only found it through their own effort, and its purpose was to show that the characters aren't nice people.
 

tmb

Casual Client
Joined
Mar 5, 2015
Hey jase, I just checked your dialogues with Pim_gd Pim_gd DialogueChecker v3.02 ( DialogueChecker (Latest version: V3.02, 8 August 2015) | Undertow ).

In "Familiar Needs", it found 52 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 5 were severe, 38 were major issues, and 9 were minor issues.
Dialogue was checked in 105 ms with v3.02 of the DialogueChecker.

I found 52 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 5 were severe, 38 were major issues, and 9 were minor issues.



Severe issues MUST be fixed before releasing your dialogue, or your dialogue will crash and fail to load.

Variables - Major: Unused variable ("need") in initial_settings line, linenumber 7, col 27, near "initial_settings:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0(...)".

Line 7: initial_settings:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0}



Variables - Major: Unused variable ("frustrated") in initial_settings line, linenumber 7, col 38, near "initial_settings:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0}".

Line 7: initial_settings:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0}



Variables - Major: Unused variable ("awed") in initial_settings line, linenumber 7, col 53, near "(...)ngs:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0}".

Line 7: initial_settings:{"f_dt":0,"need":100,"frustrated":0,"awed":0,"chastized":0}



Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 12, col 269 near "(...) Trash..?[INSTANT_END_FLASH][intro4]"{"style":"Him(...)"

Line 12: intro3:"...east wing cleaned, libraries re-organized, burners put out, candles lit,(drones on with list of sundry duties) put up all experiments, fed the beasties, taunted the prisoners, appeased the Dark Ones, locked the gates, slain the heroes, and put out the Trash..?[INSTANT_END_FLASH][intro4]"{"style":"Him"}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([inro7]) on line 15 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 15: intro6:"[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]Master could easily destroy them with his power![inro7]"



Line Usage - Major: Line 16 is unused!

Line 16: intro7:"Perhaps, but power is best conserved -- there's always an eventuality in which you'll need it more. Besides, nothing deters would be intruders like a tailor made trap. A draught of prevention, you know...[intro8]"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 17, col 43 near "(...) Master..? (...)"

Line 17: intro8:"[LOOK_DOWN][NORMAL_MOOD]Um, Master..? Speaking of draughts, ya'know[LOOK_UP]Б...I'm getting uncomfortably low on Master's mana...[LOOK_DOWN]Б[intro9]"



Syntax - Severe: Unable to identify line-attribute value for attribute (set) on line 38.

Line 38: first_dt:""{"style":"Thought", "set"{"f_dt":"1"},"next","throttled"}



Syntax - Major: Failed to properly parse line-attributes for line 38, parsing stopped at col 36 at "{"f_dt":"1"},"next","throttled"}"

Line 38: first_dt:""{"style":"Thought", "set"{"f_dt":"1"},"next","throttled"}



Syntax - Major: Failed to parse variable value for set in line-attributes ({"style":"Thought", "set"{"f_dt":"1"},"next","throttled"}) on line 38.

Line 38: first_dt:""{"style":"Thought", "set"{"f_dt":"1"},"next","throttled"}



Line Usage - Major: Line 39 is unused!

Line 39: throttled:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Ahh, things should slide along smoothly now."



Line Usage - Major: Line 40 is unused!

Line 40: throttled:"[HAPPY_MOOD][CLOSE_EYES]Hah![OPEN_EYES] There isn't a tight, wet hole that could stop my Master's cock!Б[NORMAL_MOOD]"{"held":"true"}



Line Usage - Major: Line 41 is unused!

Line 41: throttled:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Yummm, now we're getting somewhere..."{"held":"false"}



Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 48. This could indicate a coding error.

Line 48: held0:"[held_0]"{"style":"Thought","set":{'frustrated:",+1}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to properly parse line-attributes for line 48, parsing stopped at col -1 (ERROR) at ",'frustrated:",+1}"

Line 48: held0:"[held_0]"{"style":"Thought","set":{'frustrated:",+1}}



Line Usage - Major: Line 50 is unused!

Line 50: held1:"Perfect position to catch every last drop."{"style":"Thought"}



Syntax - Major: Failed to determine value for variable ("awed:") on line 54.

Line 54: head_grabbed:"Yes! Sink in claws, like a demon!"{"style":"Thought","set":{"awed:",+1}}



Variables - Major: Undeclared variable (awed:) in line-attribute set on line 54, col 75, near "(...) demon!"{"style":"Thought","set":{"awed:",+1}}".

To fix this, add the variable to the initial_settings line of your dialogue.

Line 54: head_grabbed:"Yes! Sink in claws, like a demon!"{"style":"Thought","set":{"awed:",+1}}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([vigorous*f_dt*]) on line 57 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 57: vigorous:"[vigorous*f_dt*]"{"style":"Thought","held":"true"}



Syntax - Major: The linename of line 60 (hand_job_stroke"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][hand_job_stroke]"{"style") contains double quotes. Did you accidentally misplace or forget the colon?

Line 60: hand_job_stroke"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][hand_job_stroke]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (,"mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}) after line attributes on line 60. This indicates a syntax error.

Line 60: hand_job_stroke"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][hand_job_stroke]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Line Usage - Major: Line 60 is unused!

Line 60: hand_job_stroke"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][hand_job_stroke]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Syntax - Major: The linename of line 62 (lick_penis"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_penis]"{"style") contains double quotes. Did you accidentally misplace or forget the colon?

Line 62: lick_penis"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_penis]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (,"mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}) after line attributes on line 62. This indicates a syntax error.

Line 62: lick_penis"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_penis]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Line Usage - Major: Line 62 is unused!

Line 62: lick_penis"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_penis]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Syntax - Major: The linename of line 64 (lick_balls"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_balls]"{"style") contains double quotes. Did you accidentally misplace or forget the colon?

Line 64: lick_balls"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_balls]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (,"mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}) after line attributes on line 64. This indicates a syntax error.

Line 64: lick_balls"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_balls]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Line Usage - Major: Line 64 is unused!

Line 64: lick_balls"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_BACK][lick_balls]"{"style":"Thought","mood":"Ahegao","held":"false"}



Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters and triggers:

Space at start of new line on line 87, col 9 near "pulled_up:" %0A...hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."{"mood":"A(...)"

Line 87: pulled_up:"[CLOSE_EYES][LOOK_UP][OPEN_EYES][DROOL] %0A...hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...[CLOSE_EYES][LOOK_DOWN][OPEN_EYES]"{"mood":"Ahegao","held":"true","style":"Thought"}

Stripped Line 87: pulled_up:" %0A...hahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."{"mood":"Ahegao","held":"true","style":"Thought"}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([chastize*chastized*]) on line 90 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 90: pulled_down:"[chastize*chastized*]"{"mood":"Angry","held":"true","style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters and triggers:

Space at start of new line on line 91, col 11 near "pulled_down:" %0A...maaa~a~a~a~ster?"{"mood":"Ahegao","(...)"

Line 91: pulled_down:"[LOOK_UP][ARMS_BACK] %0A...maaa~a~Бa~a~Бster?[DROOL][ARMS_LOOSE]"{"mood":"Ahegao","held":"true"}

Stripped Line 91: pulled_down:" %0A...maaa~a~a~a~ster?"{"mood":"Ahegao","held":"true"}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([lick]) on line 102 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 102: cum_on_face:"Smells delicious, feels marvelous. If only I could drink it through my skin [lick]..."{"mood":"Ahegao","held":"true"}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([lick]) on line 104 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 104: cum_on_face:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Smells delicious, feels marvelous. If only I could drink it through my skin [lick]...[HAPPY_MOOD]"{"mood":"Happy"}



Syntax - Severe: Illegal value (Happyl) for attribute (mood) on line 119.

Illegal values for the mood-attribute will crash SDT's Dialogue system. This issue has to be fixed before SDT will be able to interpret your dialogue correctly.

The allowed values for the attribute mood are: Normal,Angry,Happy,Ahegao

Line 119: cum_in_eye:"[CLENCH_TEETH][WINCE]Ah, demons can't drink through that hole, Master...[NORMAL_MOOD]"{"mood":"Happyl","held":"true"}



Syntax - Severe: Unable to identify line-attribute value for attribute (set) on line 151.

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to properly parse line-attributes for line 151, parsing stopped at col 610 at "{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}"

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to parse variable value for set in line-attributes ({"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}) on line 151.

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 151, col 386 near "(...) gratitude.Б%0A Humph. (...)"

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: Line 151 is unused!

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_NORMAL]) on line 151 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 151: chastise0:"[LOOK_UP]Your attitude is beginning to irritate me, imp...Б%0AOn your knees, andБ listenБ clearly.[MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]Б %0ANothing is due you, imp -- you are my bound possession, drawn out of the Pits of Hell from the claws of far crueller Masters than I. БMy seed is my own to be granted at my own forbearance, and to your own gratitude.Б%0A Humph. That said, it does please me[LOOK_UP] to reward you for pleasing service. You may have forfeited any advancement in Hell, but you have comforts here those of your rank couldn't enjoy for eons."{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":1,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Severe: Unable to identify line-attribute value for attribute (set) on line 152.

Line 152: chastise1:"[LOOK_UP]Get down on your knees![MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]%0ADo not take me lightly, imp -- as you are aware, in the many lifetimes I've lived, I have learned ways to make a demon BURN...[WINCE]Б %0AIf you would prefer to hang from the bronze cross tonight[LOOK_UP][SHOCK], you may keep testing my patience.Б%0AOtherwise...you had better moderate your tone and mind your place.[LOOK_DOWN]Б"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to properly parse line-attributes for line 152, parsing stopped at col 451 at "{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}"

Line 152: chastise1:"[LOOK_UP]Get down on your knees![MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]%0ADo not take me lightly, imp -- as you are aware, in the many lifetimes I've lived, I have learned ways to make a demon BURN...[WINCE]Б %0AIf you would prefer to hang from the bronze cross tonight[LOOK_UP][SHOCK], you may keep testing my patience.Б%0AOtherwise...you had better moderate your tone and mind your place.[LOOK_DOWN]Б"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to parse variable value for set in line-attributes ({"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}) on line 152.

Line 152: chastise1:"[LOOK_UP]Get down on your knees![MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]%0ADo not take me lightly, imp -- as you are aware, in the many lifetimes I've lived, I have learned ways to make a demon BURN...[WINCE]Б %0AIf you would prefer to hang from the bronze cross tonight[LOOK_UP][SHOCK], you may keep testing my patience.Б%0AOtherwise...you had better moderate your tone and mind your place.[LOOK_DOWN]Б"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: Line 152 is unused!

Line 152: chastise1:"[LOOK_UP]Get down on your knees![MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]%0ADo not take me lightly, imp -- as you are aware, in the many lifetimes I've lived, I have learned ways to make a demon BURN...[WINCE]Б %0AIf you would prefer to hang from the bronze cross tonight[LOOK_UP][SHOCK], you may keep testing my patience.Б%0AOtherwise...you had better moderate your tone and mind your place.[LOOK_DOWN]Б"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_NORMAL]) on line 152 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 152: chastise1:"[LOOK_UP]Get down on your knees![MOOD_NORMAL][SHOCK][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN]%0ADo not take me lightly, imp -- as you are aware, in the many lifetimes I've lived, I have learned ways to make a demon BURN...[WINCE]Б %0AIf you would prefer to hang from the bronze cross tonight[LOOK_UP][SHOCK], you may keep testing my patience.Б%0AOtherwise...you had better moderate your tone and mind your place.[LOOK_DOWN]Б"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":2,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Severe: Unable to identify line-attribute value for attribute (set) on line 153.

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to properly parse line-attributes for line 153, parsing stopped at col 261 at "{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}"

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Syntax - Major: Failed to parse variable value for set in line-attributes ({"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}) on line 153.

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 153, col 103 near "(...) %0A Are (...)"

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: Line 153 is unused!

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_NORMAL]) on line 153 refers to a non-existing line.

Line 153: chastise2:"[LOOK_UP]TAKE TO YOUR KNEES, SLUT![WINCE][NORMAL_STYLE][ARMS_BACK][LOOK_DOWN][MOOD_NORMAL]Б %0A Are you disatisfied with my mortal mercies, slut?Б Do you long for the sadistic touch of the infinite host of the Infernal heirarchy?"{"style":"Him","set"{"chastized":3,"frustrated":0}}



Line Usage - Major: Line 154 is unused!

Line 154: chastise3:"I have had just about enough of you![CLOSE_EYES][LOOK_DOWN][CLENCH_TEETH][ARMS_BACK]"{"style":"Him"}



Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

In "Personal Trainer", it found 25 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 0 were major issues, and 25 were minor issues.
Dialogue was checked in 15 ms with v3.02 of the DialogueChecker.

I found 25 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 0 were major issues, and 25 were minor issues.



Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 11, col 38 near "intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] <groan> (...)"

Line 11: intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] <groan> [BLINK] %0A I should've guessed..."{"style":"Him","next":"intro5"}



Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 11, col 15 near "intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] (...)"

Line 11: intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] <groan> [BLINK] %0A I should've guessed..."{"style":"Him","next":"intro5"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 11, col 56 near "(...) %0A I (...)"

Line 11: intro4:"TWENTY..?![LOOK_DOWN][LOOK_UP] <groan> [BLINK] %0A I should've guessed..."{"style":"Him","next":"intro5"}



Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 15, col 96 near "(...) [LOOK_UP]what're..?"{"style":"Him","next":"intro9"}"

Line 15: intro8:"Here goes[LOOK_DOWN] <-hrught! > [LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]...one... %0A Umm, [LOOK_UP]what're..?"{"style":"Him","next":"intro9"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 15, col 70 near "(...) %0A Umm, (...)"

Line 15: intro8:"Here goes[LOOK_DOWN] <-hrught! > [LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB]...one... %0A Umm, [LOOK_UP]what're..?"{"style":"Him","next":"intro9"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 16, col 90 near "(...) %0A [LOOK_UP] (...)"

Line 16: intro9:"Hm...[LOOK_DOWN]<sniff>[NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK] you've worked up a sweat down here... %0A [LOOK_UP] It's pretty hot..."{"next":"intro10"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 18, col 70 near "(...) %0A [TAP_HANDS]You (...)"

Line 18: intro11:"Well, it's not time for it to cool down[LOOK_DOWN] just yet. %0A [TAP_HANDS]You have to[LOOK_UP] keep it up..."{"next":"intro12"}



Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 19, col 59 near "(...) longer..!"{"style":"Him","next":"intro13"}"

Line 19: intro12:"<guh-!> I don't think I can hold this much longer..!"{"style":"Him","next":"intro13"}



Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters and triggers:

Double space on line 25, col 47 near "(...) training to (...)"

Line 25: resistance:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Let's take your resistance training [RIGHT_ARM_LEGS][LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB] to the next level..."{"next":"resist","held":"false"}

Stripped Line 25: resistance:"Let's take your resistance training to the next level..."{"next":"resist","held":"false"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 28, col 6 near "resist:" <-ooof! (...)"

Line 28: resist:" <-ooof! huff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 29, col 6 near "resist:" <gah-! (...)"

Line 29: resist:" <gah-! gasp, puff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 30, col 6 near "resist:" <groan- (...)"

Line 30: resist:" <groan- puff, puff!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 31, col 6 near "resist:" <grunt, (...)"

Line 31: resist:" <grunt, huff, eeeugh-!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 32, col 6 near "resist:" <gulp, (...)"

Line 32: resist:" <gulp, pant, pant!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 33, col 6 near "resist:" <pant, (...)"

Line 33: resist:" <pant, pant-- nngh-!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 34, col 6 near "resist:" <uuuuagh-! (...)"

Line 34: resist:" <uuuuagh-! gasp, pant!>"{"style":"Him"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 36, col 78 near "(...) %0A [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]I (...)"

Line 36: first_throat:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS]Great work, but now[LOOK_UP] %0A [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]I want you to give me all you got![HOLD]"



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 37, col 78 near "(...) %0A [LOOK_UP]Now (...)"

Line 37: first_throat:"[LEFT_ARM_HIS_LEGS][RIGHT_ARM_LEGS]Whew, that's enough warm-up. %0A [LOOK_UP]Now I want you to [FACE_FUCK_STYLE]push yourself to the limit![HOLD]"



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 51, col 15 near "hand_job_stroke:" <whew!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}"

Line 51: hand_job_stroke:" <whew!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}



Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters and triggers:

Space at start of new line on line 53, col 8 near "vigorous:" <ngh-!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}"

Line 53: vigorous:"[HAPPY_MOOD] <ngh-!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}

Stripped Line 53: vigorous:" <ngh-!>"{"style":"Him","next":"general"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 64, col 73 near "(...) %0A [WINCE]I (...)"

Line 64: wake:"[LOOK_UP][ANGRY_MOOD]So, did you get a nice break while I was out? %0A [WINCE]I hope you're rested up, because now[NORMAL_MOOD][FACE_FUCK_STYLE] you're going to have to take it from the top![LOOK_UP]"



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 69, col 126 near "(...) trembling![SHOCK][LOOK_UP]%0A You (...)"

Line 69: cum_in_throat:"[HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Fantastic follow-through! [SHOCK][LOOK_DOWN]Your legs are trembling![SHOCK][LOOK_UP]%0A You really put everything you had into that stroke!"



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 72, col 164 near "(...) %0A (hand (...)"

Line 72: cum_in_eye:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][CLENCH_TEETH]... A little shaky there at the end.[WINCE][NORMAL_MOOD]You need to steady your breathing and keep your performance even-- %0A (hand me my towel, would you?)"



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 90, col 74 near "(...) %0A ...hit (...)"

Line 90: restart3a:"<pant, gasp>...so is it <huff, pant> time to cool down?[BLINK] %0A ...hit the showers, maybe?"{"style":"Him","next":"restart3b"}



Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 91, col 85 near "(...) one.%0A [BLINK]But (...)"

Line 91: restart3b:"[SHOCK]Ooo,[LOOK_UP] a shower does sound nice -- I think we've earned one.%0A [BLINK]But it would be a waste right now,[LOOK_DOWN] cause all I want to do is [HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]get sweaty with you some more..."{"style":"Him"}



Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

Don't forget to mention that "Familiar Needs" uses DialogueActions.

Attached are my attempts to fix your dialogues.

Regards.
 

Attachments

Familiar Needs v1.1.txt
11.6 KB · Views: 313

Personal Trainer v1.1.txt
8.1 KB · Views: 297

The_Gentacle

Potential Patron
Joined
Feb 28, 2016
Familiar Needs has been a WIP for a long time,even before Personal Trainer. After fleshing out the concept in a different game I don't think I want to reproduce it here. There was going to be a bad end, but the player should've only found it through their own effort, and its purpose was to show that the characters aren't nice people.
What was the game, if you don't mind me asking?
 

jase

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jun 4, 2014
In "Familiar Needs", it found 52 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 5 were severe, 38 were major issues, and 9 were minor issues.
I should make it clearer that it's an Incomplete WIP and won't be completed by me. It isn't presented for play, but for anyone interested in tinkering with. I have already fixed every issue that would not require further development.

In "Personal Trainer", it found 25 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 0 were major issues, and 25 were minor issues.
I turned grammar checking off due to its inapplicability to the intended format. Some ungrammatical punctuation was intended for pacing purposes. I also object to Pim_gd's contention that double spaces following a period is not proper grammar online. Double-spaces following sentences are always permissible in prose, regardless of the medium.


What was the game, if you don't mind me asking?
It was part of a campaign for AD&D. The archmage was a recurring magnificent bastard type, sometimes villain, sometimes ally.
 

Pim_gd

Content Creator
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
I also object to Pim_gd's contention that double spaces following a period is not proper grammar online. Double-spaces following sentences are always permissible in prose, regardless of the medium.

#DialogueChecker-NoDoubleSpace# - since v3.00 - (see original commit: Pim_gd / SDTDialogueChecker / commit / 62c18a85b892 — Bitbucket)

I've added a reminder to the issue message of double space because maybe you forgot. It's not released yet, though, so... yeah... but it'll get released the next time I add something serious
 
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