Attack On Titan dialogue (1 Viewer)

[Ganta-kun]

Heya guys..After a while of lurking the forums,downloading all the mods i could find..I found myself making dialogues and scenarios for the game..And actually enjoying it..So here is my first post,a Attack on titan dialogue..I made it in such a way that you could use any AoT character,both for him and her..Also,I'll be taking any requests I can if you like what I can do so far...Hope you enjoy,guys..any feedback would be greatly appreciated ;D ;D

 

[Pim_gd]

Issues:

Spoiler

Dialogue was checked in 30 ms with v2.15 of the DialogueChecker.
I found 18 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 2 were major issues, and 16 were minor issues.

Variables - Major: Unused variable ("played") in initial_settings line, linenumber 3, col 18, near "initial_settings:{"played":"false"}".
Line 3: initial_settings:{"played":"false"}

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Exclamation mark amidst periods: .!.) on line 6, col 17 near "cum_in_eye:"Argh..!...*YOU*...You (...)"
Line 6: cum_in_eye:"Argh..!...*YOU*...You shot it right in my eye...[BLINK]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Exclamation mark amidst periods: .!.) on line 35, col 10 near "drool:"No..!....I (...)"
Line 35: drool:"No..!....I don't want to waste *YOUR* hot cum..."

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Exclamation mark amidst periods: .!.) on line 36, col 13 near "(...) no..!...It's (...)"
Line 36: drool:"Oh no..!...It's dripping on my uniform...What if someone is going to notice..?...Should i take it off..?"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Question mark amidst periods: .?.) on line 36, col 83 near "(...) notice..?...Should (...)"
Line 36: drool:"Oh no..!...It's dripping on my uniform...What if someone is going to notice..?...Should i take it off..?"

Grammar - Minor: Space before comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 37, col 37 near "(...) died...!...*YOU* ,don't (...)"
Line 37: wake:"I-..I could've died...!...*YOU* ,don't ever do that again!"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Exclamation mark amidst periods: .!.) on line 37, col 27 near "(...) died...!...*YOU* (...)"
Line 37: wake:"I-..I could've died...!...*YOU* ,don't ever do that again!"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 38, col 41 near "(...) happened..?""
Line 38: wake:"Whoa...*YOU*-san...W-what happened..?"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 42, col 13 near "intro:"*YOU*..? (...)"
Line 42: intro:"*YOU*..? I'm really sorry for I'm about to do...But with the titans breaking the walls..we'll never know how much we have left...[LOOK_UP]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: !.) on line 48, col 18 near "restart:"Again...?!..How (...)"
Line 48: restart:"Again...?!..How is your cock still hard...?"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 62, col 35 near "(...) it..?[LOOK_UP]""
Line 62: hand_job_stroke:"Do you....like it..?[LOOK_UP]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 64, col 36 near "(...) faster..?[LOOK_UP]""
Line 64: hand_job_stroke:"Should I go faster..?[LOOK_UP]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 66, col 63 near "(...) you..?[LOOK_UP]""
Line 66: pre_cum:"I can feel it....pulsating...you're close, aren't you..?[LOOK_UP]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 68, col 31 near "(...) good..?[LOOK_UP]""
Line 68: lick_penis:"Does it..feel good..?[LOOK_UP]"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 72, col 34 near "(...) far..?""
Line 72: general:"Are you liking it so far..?"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (Question mark amidst periods: .?.) on line 73, col 41 near "(...) hands...?..Or (...)"
Line 73: general:"Do you want me to use my hands...?..Or should I put it between my breasts...?"

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("giggles") in a variable insertion (*giggles*) on line 77, col 73, near "(...) this...*giggles*"".
Line 77: general:"I sure do hope the titans don't attack while we're doing this...*giggles*"

Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 79, col 47 near "(...) it....*YOU*-san..?""
Line 79: cum_in_mouth:"Should I swallow it....*YOU*-san..?"

Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

Basically: Ellipsis are three periods long (always). After an ellipsis you can have a question mark or an exclamation mark or even both... then, before starting a new sentence or word, add a space.

You should remove the played variable; you don't use it.

To insert * into your dialogue, use %2A. (%2Agiggles%2A)

 

[Ganta-kun]

Well damn.Thanks for the feedback,I'll try make sure these mistakes won't be found in future posts ;D

 

[Pim_gd]

The link to the DialogueChecker is in my signature, you can manually check your dialogue with it. It won't find everything, but it will tell you a LOT. If you need help with any of the warnings or issues it tells you about you can let me know and I'll try to clarify it for you (as well as edit the program so it displays a helpful note).