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Teaser of next story

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by Raden, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Oh, I am having fun stringing this along. Anybody ever catch the first hint? If you did you know the title of it already, but nobody ever mentioned it, so I'm thinking not... You thought my first story was long?

    In celebration of Logitech emailing me to tell me they have turned my new keyboard over to UPS for delivery and they will email me with a tracking number when it is processed, I wanted to write an excerpt. You know when you open a novel and on the inside first few pages, there's a teaser excerpt to get you excited and sell the story? Right.

    _____
    Another punch rocked Lili's head to the left. Another to the right. Back and forth it went, battering her completely loopy. Finally, another hook landed which spun her in a half circle. She crashed hard to the concrete ground.

    Shaking her head to clear the rolling fog, she slowly rose to her feet. Turning around, she caught a glimpse of her attacker. Whoever it was seemed to be half shrouded in darkness even as the moonlight illuminated the scenery around them, their face unseen.

    "Who are you, and what do you want from me? Stand and fight!"

    "Little girl", the figure said, voice haunted with a slight echo, and strangely familiar, "I am the living embodiment of purity's dark side... and now I have been completely awoken." Twin pinpricks of a horrible, lurid red light appeared, and got brighter. It lit up the figure's face. Lili's eyes widened in white terror. "And you... are my first victim." A laser blast suddenly cut the night, and slammed into Lili's chest. It flung her backwards fifty feet, where her unconscious body came to rest. Blood streaked her face and smeared on her arms and hands. She lay facedown, a small pool of blood forming. "And I... will not be stopped, especially by the likes of a simple human weakling as yourself."
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2012
  2. DeathKitten

    DeathKitten Guest

    DeathKitten
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 25, 2012
  3. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    I hope you like the full story, being written as soon as I am on my awesome Logitech keyboard and not my piece of crap "came with the computer" $5 junker where the media keys don't even work right. If I hadn't busted the one I did have I'd have had this shit done by now. But on the other hand, it's allowed me to mentally add pieces and plan it better, so I think the finished product will be better than it could have been had I done it last week. It will also not be my last piece, but will most likely be my best, even given future writings.

    ---------- Post added 01-21-2012 at 07:07 PM ---------- Previous post was 01-20-2012 at 01:31 AM ----------

    Logitech sent my keyboard and it's on its way! They don't work on the weekends but UPS has got it and it's in the system. I can't wait to start writing this, even I'm amped for it. I only hope everyone enjoys it as much as I'm going to like writing it.
     
  4. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    can't wait for you to get your new keyboard!!!!

    Is this DJ? or is this Jun??? "Purity's Darkside" just sounds so Jun-Unkownish (even though they weren't supposed to be the same person) =)
    Can't wait to see how this turns out!
     
  5. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    While it's a great idea, it's not Jun. I know that Jun and Unknown were not supposed to be the same character but that's sort of how it ended up. So Jun's already got her set of problems.

    I'll also be fleshing out that teaser bit a little more. I omitted a couple things that'd have given it away entirely, that will be present in the full story. Otherwise, if you know what's going on, why read the full story, right?

    Should have my keyboard this week. Its about time. I'm so sick of this cheap-ass pieceashit. I have no idea how people can LIKE mechanical clicky keyboards. The one I use (and is en route) is whisper quiet.

    Logitech - Illuminated Keyboard
     
  6. Parasitoro

    Parasitoro Vivacious Visitor Ryonani Teamster

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    I must not tell people what it's going to be. Because I've guessed the character.
     
  7. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    I do believe you know, yes. PM me just to confirm. If you're right, I'll let you know. I don't think you've ever actually said the name.

    ---------- Post added 01-23-2012 at 01:35 AM ---------- Previous post was 01-22-2012 at 06:31 PM ----------

    Holy shit, I could even get it today! I live in Ontario, Canada, and it's already in the city of Windsor. Tomorrow at the latest, it seems, but depending on how fast UPS moves, I may get it today. Wow. WOW. I cannot wait to get cracking on this.

    edit: Well according to WolframAlpha, Windsor is 333.3 kilometers away from Toronto. I know Toronto is roughly 100-150 kilometers from my city, so if it departs Windsor sometime soon, it can be here today.

    ---------- Post added 01-24-2012 at 08:14 PM ---------- Previous post was 01-23-2012 at 01:35 AM ----------

    I decided to change up the teaser a little in the actual story. When I write these I just have points in the story I want to get to, but I don't plan on how to get there. So I'm just changing the directions a little. :P
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 23, 2012