So, though I doubt that many hear will guess who I am, I've become very tired of a certain place and it's factional infighting turning int one continuous flailing of virtual dickery - and to get away from such a thing, I've come to place... That is about deepthroating. Don't question my logic though! I have none! What I do have is dialogue, and though your friends and family always warned you about trusting strangers with gifts, trust me - I know what I'm doing. What is that, exactly? For one, don't expect any slavery, guro, or forced crap with me. It's overdone, unsexy, and you should feel terrible for liking it. What you can expect is stuff that is slightly silly, slightly sexy, and slightly strange. I can't promise any of it will be *good*, but the transition from hackish writer to hackish fanfic writer to hackish 80's porn dialogue writer can't be too terrible, can it? - Dialogue list/Update tree - Greasy Fanboy The Storyteller > Really, this is only one post below; as comments arrive, the updates'll be more useful, I'm sure. For your enjoyment pleasure, a reticent nerd that I've dubbed the 'Greasy Fanboy'. Although slightly resistant to the idea of sucking your dick(or is he? And it could be a strap-on; let's use our imagination!), he makes nervous jokes and small talk that may amuse you and will certainly be different from most other dialogues you download. (Or is it?) And if you even finish the whole thing through, you may even find out that he Spoiler wasn't even doing it for the perks. Spoiler OR WAS HE D'awww. He might even seem like a nice guy, or perhaps a really odd girl. For settings - please don't stick to these, do as you like, &c&c&c - glasses are a must, though. Resistance should also be slightly higher than normal. Conflicted feelings and all that. Spoiler dialogue_name:"Greasy Fanboy" CUSTOM: intro:"This can't be happening - this is even worse than One More Day!" intro:"I knew we shouldn't have let girls in the group..." ##Comment this out if not using a strap-on. intro:"Jeebus, is that real? It looks like a donkey schlong. Not that I'm an admirer of donkey schlong." intro:"Dude. I'll do anything if you'll give me that rad elite four-strength four-stam leather belt!" intro:"So, uh, this is just extreme-action larping, right?" intro:"You don't want me like this. I haven't even febbed this morning. Febrezed, even." general:"Don't stop now! 'Cuz baby, I'm having a good time, having a good time-" general:"My old DM could take an entire F.A.T.A.L session in one hour. I won't lose to him!" general:"So you're just gonna stop half-way through? It's not like I'll faint if you keep going!" general:"This hurts me - but I know you feel this. Let me establish direct control." general:"You know that scene where Glorfindel beats back the riders? Yeah, this is like that." general:"I'd so rather be having a twinkie right now." general:"Your heaving man-rod/villanous demon-witch strap-on appendage tantalizes me. Sarcasm!" general:"Do I get an extra level for this?" general:"Some people deal with grief in different ways. Some cut off heads. I fuck at funerals." general:"This is just like one of my Japanese animes!" resistance:"No! If I touch it, it'll contaminate my incorruptible pure purity!" resistance:"Just let me get my inhaler, I think my asthma is kicking in." resistance:"It's too smoothy-smooth with your yogurt. I ain't touching it!" resistance:"Woden! Hear my plea! Save me from this nightmare!" resistance:"I - I can't. My first love is my Realdoll, and I have a commitment to her." resistance:"No - you haven't triggered enough event flags yet!" resistance:"Why me? Why me, when there are perfectly good body pillows for sale?!" interrupt:"-mphh!" interrupt:"-mph!" interrupt:"-obu!" interrupt:"-uwa!" interrupt:"-ngyha!" interrupt:"-ghmph!" interrupt:"-mmbh!" interrupt:"-nngh!" interrupt:"-mmn!" interrupt:"-ghch!" interrupt:"-mmb!" interrupt:"-mmbh!" interrupt:"-mnh!" interrupt:"-ng!" interrupt:"-!" interrupt:"-hn!" cough:"-aghck" cough:"-ack" cough:"-ackph" cough:"-agph" cough:"-achf" first_throat:"Dude. You were inside of me. I feel... Weird." first_throat:"So, this is what dick tastes like? Spicy." ## Comment out if strap-on. first_throat:"It's weird. Your strap-on excites me in new and interesting ways." ##Comment out if guy. first_throat:"Well, if we're going to do this, we might as well keep on doing this. We can catch Buck Rogers reruns, later." first_throat:"So, you're going to buy me what I need for my full-body cosplay right?" first_throat:"And then a cock popped out!" first_throat:"Right. I can do this. You just come at me, bro." first_throat:"Tastes like blood, sweat, toil, and tears. And pre-cum." first_throat:"Yeah, yeah, you're a real stud. I can tell this is gonna be a long coupla hours." first_throat:"It reminds of summer salami that I can't eat. I'm so confused!" first_dt:"Whoa. I can see forever. Er, feel forever." first_dt:"Your girth is so massive. I am entranced. Seriously." first_dt:"Never have I seen such a massive and delicious meatrod." first_dt:"That was pretty deep. Hehe, see, it's a pun, because you just - oh, forget it." first_dt:"That all you got? I've still got mana to burn!" pull_off:"What, am I too much for you? Not that I'm saying that I'm good at this. Not that I'm saying I like cocks." pull_off:"Oh, geeze. You're going to go flaccid if you don't allow my tender ministrations." pull_off:"Let me guess, you even have to micromanage your imps and dwarves, too?" pull_off:"Dude, I was finally starting to get into it and you yank me away? Bitchtits!" pull_off:"Your hand is frikkin' cold. Hoth cold. Put some gloves on or something." pull_off:"This is officially worth two levels, now. And I want a new battleaxe for Moogdred." pull_off:"I know you see my sexy body, and it's just too much for you. That's what meatbreads do for ya!" pull_off:"Don't touch my hair. It's built up a pleasant layer of 'tude." pull_off:"You're just trying to psych me out to interrupt me with your dick at a suitably humorous moment, am I right?." held:"Hey, look. I can tap out the FF crystal tune!" held:"Oh, boy. I always knew this day would come. Three levels, and I get to do all the women in the campaign." held:"Let's play a game, it's called 'Master and Servant!'" held:"Hold me up, beat me down, what do they know, 'bout that?" held:"Just fuck me and get it over with already. Honestly, don't you need that hand for something else?" ##HE SEES THE FOURTH WALL held:"Ram me into your heaving flesh volcano!.. Is what you're supposed to say in this situation, right?" wake:"Auntie Em! I just had the most terrible dream!" wake:"... Dude. Not cool. Five levels, and I want a female companion slave that I can deepthroat at any time I like!" wake:"Sorry, I got so into the joy of sucking you off that I blacked out from the bliss of it." wake:"If I only knew about men from hearsay, I'd say you ruptured my throat-cervix. Don't do that again, 'kay?" wake:"Joy. Waking up to a hard cock. This is the best day of my life sense oil peaked and the clone wars." vigorous:"... Hey, this is actually kind of nice." vigorous:"That's right. My awesome oral assault is gonna leave you begging for more!" vigorous:"I'll prove to you that I'm so good, I deserve seven levels and a female slave and a portable hole to fuck at anytime I like!... Uh, I'm kinky." vigorous:"Fuck me like Mohammed Ali screwed George Foreman in 1974!" vigorous:"My throat will crush you!... Er, in a tender manner!" vigorous:"You think that you can force me? I'm no casual scrub! I'll take you on!" vigorous:"If it's a contest between speed and power, my power'll exhaust your speed!" pre_cum:"Ha-ha! You can't hold it in! Dude, fail!" pre_cum:"Don't worry. This happens to me all the time. Or did, until I became a massive mouth-stud under your tutelage." pre_cum:"Great, of all the people I have to suck off, I'm stuck with an early ejaculator." pre_cum:"You can't frost the cookies this early! They aren't even - okay, I dunno where my metaphor went." cum_on_face:"DUDE! Who comes on someone's face? Come on my chest, or something!" cum_on_face:"Gah, your spunk is all over my beautiful face! Don't make me go Vega on your ass! " cum_on_face:"... I would've swallowed if you'd fucking asked, dude." cum_on_face:"Eh, my face? Really? Do you have, like, a wipe or something?" cum_in_mouth:"The breakfast of champions." cum_in_mouth:"About time. Although now I expect you'll be like 'wham, bam, thank you, man." cum_in_mouth:"Not bad. If it'd been me, it would have been 20% more splooge, though." cum_in_mouth:"B- for delivery, B+ for execution." cum_in_mouth:"Tastes like candy fluff... What the fuck have you been eating?" cum_in_throat:"Is that even physically possible? I think you used miracles or magnets, I call bullshit." cum_in_throat:"Your slippery sloop sailed straight south the straights of my sexy swallowtube!" cum_in_throat:"Huh. It's like a suppository, you really don't feel much of anything." cum_in_throat:"Ew, throatsex. Consider the feelings of others! I wanted to enjoy your little spermatoza!" cum_in_eye:"Hah! My glasses protect me!" cum_in_eye:"THIS is what the goggles are for!" cum_in_eye:"You tried to come in my eye, but in the end you will only come closer to your own destruction!" cum_in_eye:"Ten levels, a female slave, a portable hole, and a ring of wishes that summons nine clones of famous celebrities. Biaatch." swallow:"Huh. Tastes kinda like salty kipper snacks - no, dude, I meant that in a good way. I love kipper snacks." swallow:"It's not like I enjoyed this, but your semen tastes okay. Better than mine, I'm sure." swallow:"If manslushies were like foods, yours would be the caviar of the splooge world." swallow:"Toasty!" drool:"Wow. Your mighty man-meat made my meagre mouth meekly miss some mangy moppets of semen." drool:"C'mon, that can't be real. No one comes that much, except dolphins. And that's an urban legend. I looked it up. On the internet." drool:"P'tewie! I spit your cum onto the floor! Now whom is sucking whom off?!... Uh, wait. Fuck. Don't answer that." restart:"... You wanna go again? I'll call it even at ten levels. Complaints aside - I've had worse Sundays." restart:"You can't tell anyone this, but... I think I'm in pon farr with you." restart:"Already to roll again? Not bad. Let's you and me finish this!" restart:"... For some reason, I find your prosthetic penile pervayence pleasantly penetrative. Again?" ## Vide supra, ad infinitum. restart:"So, uh, wanna go get drunk and watch some late-night television together?" restart:"I was thinking - maybe it would be okay if we met up again, sometime. Only for perks, mind. I'm all about the perks." restart:"If you've got nothing better to do, and I've got nothing better to do - then that's groovy, baby." DEFAULT: resistance:"CLEAR" interrupt:"CLEAR" cough:"CLEAR" first_throat:"CLEAR" first_dt:"CLEAR" pull_off:"CLEAR" held:"CLEAR" wake:"CLEAR" vigorous:"CLEAR" pre_cum:"CLEAR" cum_on_face:"CLEAR" cum_in_throat:"CLEAR" cum_in_mouth:"CLEAR" cum_in_eye:"CLEAR" swallow:"CLEAR" drool:"CLEAR" restart:"CLEAR" I'm not sure if ## works like it does in most other things I'd drabbled with. To spoil a few of the others I'd do if I weren't tired, I'm thinking a frat boy, someone who speaks only in beat poetry, some secrets, and of course - She. So. If you laughed, keep an eye out here. Who knows, I might even produce something you like! Stay frosty, people. Also, there is now an attachment for those who don't like spoilers. My bad for not having it up earlier. Some elements have been commented out with ## - if you see them and don't like them for their surreal charm just remove them.