Grade Whore // Succubus Feeding // A Rescue Repaid // Camp BJ (1 Viewer)

[Pim_gd]

Looked over your new dialogue, Camp counselor blowjob.

Spoiler

Variables - Major: Undeclared variable (thtc) in line-attribute set on line 51, col 111, near "(...)le":"Thought","set":{"rescounter":"+1","thtc":"+1"}}".
To fix this, add the variable to the initial_settings line of your dialogue.
Line 51: resistance_11:"<*shygirl*> I wonder why they call this a perk... "{"style":"Thought","set":{"rescounter":"+1","thtc":"+1"}}

But you don't ever insert it or check for it so yeaaaaaah. Maybe remove it. What was it for?

Line 63: resistance_12:"Yeah work that throat... show the new girl how its done."{"style":"Him"}
Typo. "how its done" -> EITHER "how it's done" OR "how it is done"

Line 113: first_dt:"<*shygirl*>Golly! That's all the way in her throat![saucyresponsedt]"{"style":"Thought","set":{"opening":"throated"}}
value "throated" is unused.
Also missing a space between speaker and sentence "<*shygirl*>Golly!" -> "<*shygirl*> Golly!"

Line 135: held:"That's it,* ME* gag on that cock!"{"style":"Him","held":"false"}
I think this is missing a comma
"it,* ME* gag" -> "it,* ME,* gag"

Line 181: cumsayings:"Oh yeah* ME* That's good."{"style":"Him"}
wrong capitalization. "yeah* ME* That's" -> EITHER "yeah* ME*, that's" OR "yeah* ME*. That's"

Line 205:drool:"<*saucyblond* to *shygirl*> Its kinda nice to lick cum from there too... if you ever need help. -wink-"{"style":"Him"}
Typo. "Its kinda nice" -> "It's kinda nice"

*ME* will not be inserted if the girl's name is blank. You can do this by loading a charcode which has charName:;

 

[karlpaws]

Ok. Wasn't sure if it would completely exclude a Her name or not, since a couple times when I've monkeyed around with those settings it would keep a previous name, and sometimes it would take the hair style name, depending on what I had loaded last.

The two variables I had started to use for a more complicated system but dropped it. I thought I ran everything through the 2.04 checker a last time before posting, and pretty sure I did after changing that, but eh. Thought I was getting better but guess not good enough... but then you'd be out of work :)

 

[karlpaws]

Ok, got a new one up.

Need to know what I should work on next.

- Revise any of the ones already up?
- Setup a position file for the camp BJ dialog and get a little freaky in public?
- Do a dialog for any of a couple horse/futa kinda backgrounds I did?

I also found a MasterChief him mod and one with Samus Aran's armor that just asks for something to link em together. Maybe a "We've saved the world, now lets have some fun!" kinda thing?

 

[azers]

Thanks for doing these, they're really good! Camp Counselor Blowjob is now one of my all time favorite dialogues. I encourage you to do more dialogues in general, but I think a sequel/expansion on the camp scenario would be great! ;D

 

[Sknaht]

You ugys are good writers. I love the succubus dialogue.

 

[gilean]

i really like the camp bj one

 

[karlpaws]

I've been rattling a few ideas around, mostly trying to get backgrounds to go with some of the ideas I have, and working positions.

So here's a poll for people...

In sequel to Camp BJ would you rather see:
The same girl in another situation
The slutty tour guide girl getting her chance
The shy girl getting enough courage up/being egged into taking her chance
- shygirl would potentially have a "test"

Also note if you have the loader and associated major dialog mods like DialogActions or Animtools

 

[AaRL]

I enjoyed the concept of the "Camp Counselor Blowjob". From a 3rd person perspective, like watching the action. A bit repetitive in spots though. Try expanding on that in the future.

 

[karlpaws]

Looking back at some of my works-in-progress I was surprised how few lines I had in for some categories.

I might need to fill out the original before finishing the sequel.

AaRL: since you liked the 3rd person, would you prefer a sequel similar to the first, or new "protagonist" just with a background camper-girl or 3?

 

[aztlan]

I'd like to see the new girl as "her" - is she hesitant, uncertain, excited, appalled, embarrassed, eager to learn?

If using DA, maybe if she screws up or doesn't know what to do, one of the more experienced girls will take over for a bit (using Lias new character) and show her what to do.

If she "succeeds" with "him" maybe she shows what she learned to his friend/colleague...

 

[karlpaws]

The grey/silver haired character, that I named Kim (and is using the image of a Bleach character named Isane I think) was supposed to be a shy, inexperienced, only had sex a few times in the dark, with a clueless boy, stereotyped girl. The interjections she has as thoughts about the actions she's seeing come from that POV.

The camp was some kinda hedonistic sex orgy girls free to be sluts and having all the sex they wanted in a pseudo-punishment imitation of summer camp, with no real reason why it existed, they were there, or why this shy near virgin would be at the camp. If any of that matters, or is developed, that could flesh out a story and determine what happens.

Story 2 could be Krystal, the outspoken brash blond (using the image of Rangiku) jumping in to take over for the original "her" I'd internally named Yumi. It could be set in the same place, elsewhere soon after, elsewhere sometime later, with another guy (or 3), etc.

The Isane version of Story 2 would pretty much be her as all of the "hesitant, uncertain, excited, appalled, embarrassed, eager to learn" emotions, with the same here+now, here+later, not-here+later settings.

If I wanted to take up more bandwidth than I should, I could create dialogs for several variants with accompanying backgrounds so that all the spectators and furniture for positions would be included.

 

[AaRL]

AaRL: since you liked the 3rd person, would you prefer a sequel similar to the first, or new "protagonist" just with a background camper-girl or 3?

I like the concept of 3 people involved in the dialogue. I would use thought lines for girl getting DTed exclusively. Something setup where she cant talk during the 'training session'. I would use both HIM and HER lines for various onlookers and such. Just type in the name as you have been doing so the user knows who's talking. I would go higher than 3 or 4 different people really being it could get confusing or peoples dialogues are lost, not called upon.

Your new perspective has given me a few ideas of my own. Also, for what its worth... welcome to my sig! :)

 

[Penderez]

jesus this is an old thread! I just got the Succubus one, and loaded it into SBY's pack, but after cumming 3 times it seems that she's stuck on a loop, all she thinks is "Master"....

edit- I looked at the txt file, I guess that's supposed to happen?

How do I get the dialogue to progress? I loaded the v2 succubus file, now it is stuck on the "I will be back tomorrow" bit and "my hunger is sated", respectively.

Is there a requirement I'm missing? Why was this dialogue posted with no directions for using it, if it's not just plug and play? :(

 

[blauer]

Looking at the dialogues: the loops are intentional. Those are the endings. That's all there is.