1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Aisaka Taiga, Lilly Satou + Requests

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by MT, Sep 14, 2013.

  1. MT

    MT Potential Patron

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2013
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    I've made a dialogue based on Aisaka Taiga from ToraDora!
    I'd also be up for some requests, but I don't make very advanced or long dialogues. I'll take requests for characters from existing franchises, and if you can provide a scenario that's even better. If there is something I want to make myself then that will take priority over any requests, and if it's from a franchise I'm not familiar with I wont do it.

    The Aisaka Taiga dialogue is based on the Tsundere dialogue found here: http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=2404.msg26694#msg26694 by Jaysus the masochist so credits to him as well.

    22.09.13
    I've made a dialogue for Lilly Satou from Katawa Shoujo and fixed the Aisaka Taiga one with the dialogue checker. The Lilly dialogue is extremely vaguely based on the Jasmine dialogue by BaconMinion: http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=2602.msg29990#msg29990 so credits where credits is due and all that.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2013
    Messages:
    718
    Likes Received:
    46
    Re: Aisaka Taiga + Requests

    A suggestion: make use of the DialogueChecker if you're gonna write dialogues.
    Here's what it finds for the Aisaka Taiga dialogue:
    Dialogue was checked in 29 ms.
    I found 26 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 13 were major issues, and 13 were minor issues.
    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Double space on line 7, col 116 near "(...) something, Tch!""
    Line 7: pre_cum:"[ANGRY_MOOD]You stupid perverted dog! You're probably thinking about [AHEGAO_MOOD]shooting your sperm all over my face or something, [ANGRY_MOOD] Tch!"
    Stripped Line 7: pre_cum:"You stupid perverted dog! You're probably thinking about shooting your sperm all over my face or something, Tch!"

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Double space on line 12, col 36 near "(...) seed... Disgusting.""
    Line 12: cum_on_face:"[HAPPY_MOOD][CLOSE_EYES]The smell of *YOU*'s seed... [OPEN_EYES][ANGRY_MOOD] Disgusting."
    Stripped Line 12: cum_on_face:"The smell of 's seed... Disgusting."

    Grammar - Minor: Double comma (grammatical error) on dialogue line on line 13, col 123 near "(...) sick,,,,,[LOOK_DOWN][CLOSE_EYES][OPEN_EYES][BLI(...)"
    Line 13: cum_on_face:"[ANGRY_MOOD]Filthy Dog! your master gave you one opportunity to feel good and you abuse it!!! You make me sick,,,,,[LOOK_DOWN][CLOSE_EYES][OPEN_EYES][BLINK]"

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 14, col 28 near "(...) again..! (...)"
    Line 14: cum_on_face:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Let's go again..[HAPPY_MOOD]! ... I mean- ... Your thing is still hard so- ...[NORMAL_MOOD]What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to lose against your stupid perverted dog-cock, yes, that's it."
    Stripped Line 14: cum_on_face:"Let's go again..! ... I mean- ... Your thing is still hard so- ...What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to lose against your stupid perverted dog-cock, yes, that's it."

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Double space on line 15, col 38 near "(...) yucky cum...""
    Line 15: cum_on_face:"[ANGRY_MOOD]Eww, I'm [AHEGAO_MOOD]covered in [ANGRY_MOOD]yucky [AHEGAO_MOOD]*YOU* cum...[BLINK][NORMAL_MOOD]"
    Stripped Line 15: cum_on_face:"Eww, I'm covered in yucky cum..."

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space at start of new line on line 21, col 12 near "cum_in_mouth:" is (...)"
    Line 21: cum_in_mouth:"[ANGRY_MOOD][CLOSE_EYES]*YOU* is mБiБiБiБiБiБnБeБeБeБeБ!!!![OPEN_EYES][SWALLOW]"
    Stripped Line 21: cum_in_mouth:" is miiiiineeee!!!!"

    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 23. This could indicate a coding error.
    Line 23: cum_in_mouth:[AHEGAO_MOOD]Let's go again..[HAPPY_MOOD]! ... I mean- ... Your thing is still hard so- ...[NORMAL_MOOD]What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to lose against your stupid perverted dog-cock, yes, that's it."

    Syntax - Major: Excess characters ([AHEGAO_MOOD]Let's go again..[HAPPY_MOOD]! ... I mean- ... Your thing is still hard so- ...[NORMAL_MOOD]What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to lose against your stupid perverted dog-cock, yes, that's it.) between linename and line content on line 23. This indicates a syntax error.
    Line 23: cum_in_mouth:[AHEGAO_MOOD]Let's go again..[HAPPY_MOOD]! ... I mean- ... Your thing is still hard so- ...[NORMAL_MOOD]What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to lose against your stupid perverted dog-cock, yes, that's it."

    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 40, col 36 near "(...) it..? (...)"
    Line 40: first_dt:"[HAPPY_MOOD]I- ... did it..? ... I mean,[ANGRY_MOOD] naturally I could fit a p-p-penis like that, it's not even that big!"

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Double space on line 42, col 106 near "(...) ... ... (...)"
    Line 42: cum_in_throat:"[ANGRY_MOOD]At let me choose if I want your seed in my stomach or not! ... I- ... I also wanted to- ... [AHEGAO_MOOD] ... Taste it ... [MOOD_NORMAL]"
    Stripped Line 42: cum_in_throat:"At let me choose if I want your seed in my stomach or not! ... I- ... I also wanted to- ... ... Taste it ... "

    Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_NORMAL]) on line 42 refers to a non-existing line.
    Line 42: cum_in_throat:"[ANGRY_MOOD]At let me choose if I want your seed in my stomach or not! ... I- ... I also wanted to- ... [AHEGAO_MOOD] ... Taste it ... [MOOD_NORMAL]"

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Space at start of new line on line 44, col 7 near "swallow:" Don't (...)"
    Line 44: swallow:"[AHEGAO_MOOD] Don't read too deeply into this, it's just less to clean up is all."
    Stripped Line 44: swallow:" Don't read too deeply into this, it's just less to clean up is all."

    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 45, col 179 near "(...) Tch..!""
    Line 45: swallow:"[ANGRY_MOOD]You really are a pervert.... Getting hard again just from seeing me swallow your semen.[CLOSE_EYES] I guess I'll have to take responisibility.[OPEN_EYES] Tch..!"

    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 47. This could indicate a coding error.
    Line 47: pull_off:[ANGRY_MOOD]You're way too intense, let me catch my breath before continuing, stupid pervert."

    Syntax - Major: Excess characters ([ANGRY_MOOD]You're way too intense, let me catch my breath before continuing, stupid pervert.) between linename and line content on line 47. This indicates a syntax error.
    Line 47: pull_off:[ANGRY_MOOD]You're way too intense, let me catch my breath before continuing, stupid pervert."

    Grammar - Minor: Double space on line 49, col 63 near "(...) much? I (...)"
    Line 49: drool:"[ANGRY_MOOD]Do you think anyone could swallow that much? I know you are stupid but this is just a whole new level! Tch."

    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing {} was found on line 52. This could indicate a coding error.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 52. This could indicate a coding error.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 52, col 86.
    SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 52, col 92.
    SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 52, col 99.
    SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 52, col 106.
    SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Syntax - Major: Probable nested triggers on line 52, col 111. This indicates a coding error.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]) on line 52 refers to a non-existing line.
    Line 52: vigorous:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I did this all for you and THIS is how you treat me?[CLOSE_EYES} Tch-. Stupid filthy dog.[OPEN_EYES]"

    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .!) on line 57, col 153 near "(...) Tch..!""
    Line 57: lick_penis:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I'm not doing this to make you feel better! I was just tired of having your giant cock jammed down my throat all the time... Tch..!"

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:
    Double space on line 60, col 48 near "(...) harder! I (...)"
    Line 60: lick_balls:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Hah! This is making you even harder! [HAPPY_MOOD] I always knew you were a weirdo!"
    Stripped Line 60: lick_balls:"Hah! This is making you even harder! I always knew you were a weirdo!"

    Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.
    If there's multiple issues for 1 line the checker might be misinterpreting the line due to a single issue, so take a good look at those lines.
     
  3. MT

    MT Potential Patron

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2013
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Updated with updated Taiga and Lilly Satou from Katawa Shoujo.