G.I. Jane Play-by-Post


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
A new play-by-post I made since I wanted to try a few different things.

There are quite a few things going on in the shadows of this world; drug runnings, assassinations, terrorist attacks, even full on coups! The common thread between these crimes against humanity? Secretive Nefarious Execution Kommandos, or S.N.E.K., is working with all manner of scum to try and take over the world!

Luckily, the governments of the world have banded together to stop this emerging threat: The G.I. Jane squadron, a (legally dissimilar) squadron of covert fighters bent on stopping S.N.E.K.’s domination of the world! Soldiers from all over the world volunteer (or are tossed into) the Jane team to serve their various countries and defend the innocent!

In this game, you can make characters for both the Jane team and the Sneks. They’ll clash against each other, and I’ll use a dice system I haven’t quite decided on yet to randomize which side wins and who loses. Like Kayfabe’s game, you can specify if they’re Average, Incompetent/Unlucky, or Elite/Lucky, and Kill, Capture, or No-Kill. If captured, a Jane or Snek can be convinced (or brainwashed, or bribed, or whatever) to work for the other side.

Because we need a decent pool for both sides, feel free to make as many as you’d like for now, but please try to keep the numbers about even. Finally, since in the prior games the characters really were more mauve shirts than redshirts, you can give them pasts or abilities that reflect their standing (or lack thereof) in their respective organizations as much as you’d like. Also, if anyone has a better acronym for snek, please share. I got a little desperate.


Swell Supporter
Aug 23, 2014
Aha! Creating both the good-girl and bad-girl zako. Great idea.

Abbie Smalls. Codename: Stingerette
26 years old
Abbie is a cynical smart-aleck who is loyal to SNEK. She earned the codename "Stingerette" due to her ability to jump in with her dual-SMGs and get back out quickly.
-Can be captured, killed, other, whatever... Just go nuts. Do whatever suits the moment.
Abbie Smalls (Stingerette).png

Victoria Fox. Codename: "Vixen"
23 years old
Victoria is a former model who joined SNEK. She's usually sent on reconnaissance and spy missions and uses good looks, disguises, and charm as her main weapons. Along with a well concealed small blade, firearm, or poison of course!
-Should be captured since as a spy she has a lot of top secret SNEK information, but since she's loyal to SNEK it should take a lot of work to force the information out of her. If the GI Janes get said information, they should choose to either kill or brainwash her since she'll never join willingly.
Victoria Fox (Vixen).png
Annie. Codename: Anaconda
GI Jane
30 years old.
Anaconda is a top-tier soldier. Patriotic to her country, but originally from Russia, thus has a thick Russian accent. She lives for action. She seems to take way too much pleasure in "crushing her puny pathetic enemies" but she gets the job done.
-SNEK will want to kill her at all costs. No alternatives.
Annie (Anaconda).png
Paige Nickols
GI Jane
Paige is a patriotic tomboy who just wants to protect the peace of her nation. She has no codename, as she is just a largely unknown generic foot-soldier. In other words, she is perhaps the most zako-esque zako.
-She'll be killed and probably mostly forgotten.
Paige Nickols.png
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Vivacious Visitor
Mar 6, 2016
Executive Victory InternationaL would be a good name for SNEK mercenaries on less covert ops.


Vivacious Visitor
Mar 6, 2016
Aleah Harrak, Codename: Speaker
Average (Non-combat specialist)
Aleah is a former intelligence officer from a small northwest African nation. Heavily involved in 'counter-insurgency', her specialty lies more with torture and interrogation than combat. The torture, she loves, and will often continue torture even after they've talked for her own gratification.
She uses a pistol in combat.
-Kill, capture, whatever. She has it coming

Izvestiya Maranov, Codename: News
Izvestiya, sometimes called Izzy, is a former soldier from the Russian military. She delights in war, and believes that the only way to find one's worth is to kill others. She's vicious and warlike, and the only thing she enjoys more than a fistfight is a gunfight.
She uses an assault rifle, and occasionally wears a bulletproof vest or a helmet.
Kill, capture, whatever.

Kasia Nowak, Codename: Snow
Kasia is a patriotic daughter of an eastern european nation. She's so patriotic, in fact, she's so patriotic that she refuses to let things that happened before she was born rest, and so she is wanted by the Russian government for a number of sniper attacks on Russian soldiers and civilians. She doesn't like war, but very much likes killing Russians. Obviously this doesn't make Izvestiya too fond of her.
She uses a bolt-action sniper rifle, and whatever she wears she wears white tights as well.
Kill or capture, either way whoever turns her in to the Russian gov't gets a nice reward.

Namarome Uzair (nah-mah-row-mee)
GI Jane
Namarome (Nama for short) is a soldier for a movement recognized by a number of countries as the legitimate government of her homeland. Fighting against Aleah's country, she's lost a few friends. She, along with several others, were sent to GI Jane to prove the independence movement's genuine dedication to world peace and the greater good.
She uses an old semi-auto rifle.
She stays alive, but can be captured or whatever.

Maricela Borriquea
GI Jane
Maricela comes from a city in south america basically ruled by SNEK. She's experienced a lot of hardship, all of it caused by SNEK, and so she's got a vendetta against them. She volunteered to fight in GI Jane, and is gleeful about the possibility of killing SNEK people.
Uses a light machine gun
Kill, capture, whatever.

Camille Dupont, Codename: Waffle
She loathes her codename, but doesn't have the authority to have it changed. Regardless, Camille is a volunteer from a western european nation. She won't tell anyone, but the main reason she volunteered is, rather than for any dedication to the cause, entirely so she can get away with more minor crimes, and she hopes that she'll be able to be in charge of prisoners some day, so she can use them to increase her income.
She's a monster, a wolf in sheep's clothing.
She uses an assault rifle.
Kill, capture, whatever.

Pictures coming later


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
I'll try to get something up at some point tomorrow, but my schedule just ended up getting busy. I might not have totally thought this through, but I'll get at least a few rounds done and see how it goes.


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
I’ve decided to try out a simple dice war at arbitrary points in the story. Just an experiment, might not stick with it. I’ll post all dice rolls below, but be warned, it’s total calvinball down there. It’s more a randomized story than a real game. Also, sorry this is late.
Note: I made some edits so it reads better, but this may result in die rolls seeming to be in weird places.

SNEK is opening a new facility, and wants an advance team to overlook the worksite.
They choose a newly formed unit consisting of Stingrette, Vixen, News, And Speaker as the commander.

Their duties are to watch over the worksite, make sure the slaves workers are efficient, obedient, and not trying to do anything stupid like contact the authorities. Work should be done in about a month.
(Worker attempts to contact police; roll to determine if caught:

Worker = 2

SNEK = 11

SNEK wins, gains +3 advantage to the fight, as well as awareness of the coming Jane attack!)
Stingrette is the first to notice the worker sneaking off, but decided to alert the others before going after them, not realizing they had a cell phone on them!

The group barges into the bathroom the worker had hid in, finding them on the phone with police! While they can’t stop the report now, they can certainly punish the one responsible; a task that has been delegated to Speaker.

The G.I Jane team has received an interesting bit of intel: Apparently a mysterious organization is engaging in human trafficking in the UK. A worker called the authorities, but was caught before being able to give too many details. Due to the lack of details and international implications of this operation, it was decided that the Jane team would be handling the raid. A small fireteam consisting of Maricela Borriquea, Namarome Uzair, Paige Nickols, and Anaconda as the commander set out, unaware that SNEK is already monitoring their movements…
(Commander duel: winner’s team gets an advantage.
Speaker: Average, no bonus to roll. Rolled a 3.
Anaconda: Elite, +2 bonus to roll. Rolled a 15+2.

Anaconda wins, jane team eliminates SNEKS previous advantage!)
Speaker does not use the advance intel well: Trying to show up the Jane team, she positions all the defenses in areas she assumes they’ll try to infiltrate through, but leaving other ingress points totally unguarded. Her predictions were wrong, and now the jane team is in the building without anyone knowing! They are still on guard however, so it’s not a total sneak attack…
(Roll for initiative, commander bonuses apply.
Jane: Nat 20, plus 2.
SNEK: 6.)
Except it is. Under Anaconda’s guidance, the Jane team dodges every camera, subdues every patrol, and marks every escape route. They’re complete ghosts until they encounter:
(1D4 to determine which SNEK is encountered, guide as follows:
1: Stingrette

2: Vixen

3: News

4: Speaker

Roll: 4)
Speaker, completely unaware in her command post!
(Roll for initiative, Anaconda vs. speaker. Anaconda has commander and stealth bonuses, totalling to +4.
Anaconda: 7+4

Speaker: 3

Due to her non-combat class this is considered a victory in Jane’s favor.)
Speaker doesn’t even get a word out of the radio before Anaconda grabs her! Quickly directing her team to disable the equipment, she grills Speaker for information!
(Will fight, Speaker gets a +3 due to her familiarity to torture and the Jane unit’s inability to use it legally.

Speaker: 13+3

Jane: 6)
Speaker easily resists Anaconda’s attempts to quietly shout at her, the Russian woman’s accent and attempts to not alert others in the base amusing the torture technician. Giving up, she’s stripped of all clothes and equipment, hogtied, gagged, and placed in a locker for future collection.
(Random die roll to determine Snek, list same as before -Speaker



(Random roll to determine her opponent, list is:

1: Maricela Borriquea

2: Namarome Uzair

3: Paige Nickols

Roll: 1, Maricela)

(Initiative roll, +4 stealth to the janes

Snek: 7

Janes: 10+4

Christ have some mercy RNG)
The Jane unit encounters the next unfortunate Snek, Izvestiya Maranov!
(Battle roll, Maricela has a +2 initiative bonus

Maricela: 17 + 2

News: 5)
Maricela strikes, quickly charging the russian warmonger! Maricela gets News’s weapon away from her in a flash, and:
(Saving throw, New’s fate determined as follows with a 1d30:

1-10 = death

11-20 = capture

21-30 = new combat round

Due to Maricela’s killing intent, roll has a -3.

Roll: 9-3)
Pushes her knife into the russian’s throat, silencing her before she can raise the alarm! In her rage, she stabs News a few more times than necessary, eventually being stopped by Anaconda.

The group continues their sneaking, eventually coming upon the smart-aleck acrobat, Stingrette!
(Snek roll, same as before - news

Roll: 1, Stingrette.

Jane roll: 1, vetoed because Maricela did the last round and I want to hit them all if possible.

Re-roll: 4, also vetoed because Anaconda’s been getting too much attention.

Re-reroll: 3, Paige.

Initiative roll, +4 to jane because stealth and command.

Snek: 11

Jane: 5+4

Wow, snek actually won one!)
Paige charges out, but the acrobatic stingrette hears her footsteps and jumps out of the way!
(Combat round, Jane advantage lost due to lack of surprise.

Paige: 9

Stingrette: nat 20)
Paige is quickly subdued by the smart-aleck with a SMG burst to the chest! Luckily for the tomboy, her vest saved her, but she’s out of the fight, the pain of the bullets nearly knocking her unconscious! Stingrette, meanwhile, can’t land a finishing blow due to the other 3 Janes on her!
(Escape roll: determines if she runs successfully. Decided over 9 was a victory due to her acrobatics vs. number of opponents.

Roll: 14)
Stingrette, being smart enough to know that fighting 3 on one is a bad idea, manages to retreat, using her SMGs as suppressing fire! She finds and alerts Vixen, and they plan their next course of action!
(Coinflip, abandon the base or fight?

Roll: 1)
The two girls, not being able to contact News or Speaker, decide to cut their losses and run, leaving the base to the Janes!

Victory for the Jane unit!

Speaker: Captured
News: Dead
Paige: Severely Wounded
Stingrette and Vixen will likely be punished for their cowardice...​
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Vivacious Visitor
Mar 6, 2016
Izvestiya, not expecting an attack, doesn't realize that her rifle is being pulled away until it's already out of her grip. Surprised, she reaches for her pistol as her rifle clatters to the ground.
She isn't fast enough. Her attacker's knife finds her throat, and she reflexively reaches to try and close the wound, dropping her pistol to the ground. As she falls to her knees, she's stabbed several more times in the shoulders, before being shoved backwards and stabbed in the stomach and chest.
Despite the pain, she's not particularly angry. It hurts, of course, but she knows she'll die soon, and though she wasn't in a hurry to do so she always figured she'd be killed some day or another.
She just had hoped it wouldn't be this painful. Nobody looks, but if they did they'd see a few tears slowly hit the ground as she stops moving.
Izvestiya Maranov's story is over.

Speaker had no idea that there were Janes in the base until one put her in a headlock. Not particularly devoted to SNEK, she raised her hands in surrender as other Janes disable her communication equipment. Smug and amused by the thickly-accented Jane who attempts to interrogate her, she makes snide comments and when she decides to actually answer a question, does it either with sarcasm or tells them something she's certain they noticed while sneaking through the base.
She's slightly worried as they strip her, wondering if they're by-the-book Janes or loose cannon ones. Luckily for her, they seem to be by-the-book, or at least not loose cannon enough to do anything more to her then, and although she's embarrassed to be naked in front of fully clothed people she's a bit glad when they're done hogtying her and shut her in the locker.
She's a bit less glad when she's collected for transport back to the Jane base, still naked and hogtied.
When she's thrown into a cell in the Jane base, she's still not too happy. She's naked, and her feet are chained together and to the wall, but at least her arms aren't bound anywhere except her wrists, and she can stretch a bit in the cell.

Maricela is excited to finally begin getting revenge on SNEK.
Sneaking through the base, she's very happy to be freeing the enslaved workers.
But she's more happy when the time comes for her to take down a patrol. As the SNEK woman turns a corner, Maricela grabs her rifle and flings it back, well out of the reach of the SNEK woman. The SNEK woman reaches for her pistol, but is stabbed in the throat by Maricela before it clears the holster. Excited and angry, Maricela keeps stabbing.
After a few seconds of stabbing, she's pulled away by Anaconda. Taking pride in Anaconda's praise of 'good job', she wipes her knife clean on her vest and re-sheathes it.
Later, Paige is knocked to the ground by a burst of SMG fire. Before Maricela can get a clear shot, she's forced to cover by the acrobatic SNEK agent's spraying. She responds in kind, spraying several magazines worth of ammunition in the direction of the SNEK agent. After about thirty seconds without any return fire, she peeks out of her cover. Not seeing anything, she begins to advance before being ordered to check on Paige by Anaconda.
That's the last particularly interesting thing to happen to her that mission.

Namarome's main contribution to the mission is covering Anaconda as she sneaks up to the SNEK commander. That, and helping Maricela take Paige back to their vehicle.

Waffle takes charge of providing food and water for the prisoner, but informs everyone that they are to refer to speaker only as 'Prisoner 3197' when in Speaker's presence. Namarome recognizes Speaker's accent, and begins to regularly taunt, insult, and demean Speaker over the cell's loudspeaker. There doesn't seem to be much of an effect on Speaker, but Namarome seems to enjoy it, and it's not against the rules they're held to, so everyone just sort of lets her.


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
I'm gonna try to get something new up in the next few days, but I'd like a few more characters if anyone is interested. Ideally, I don't want the same character on two consecutive missions.


Ryonani Teamster
Dec 15, 2009
hello i will try this! obviously these characters have been ported over from my own art and comics, but please don't feel obligated to keep them as a 'set'.

Jiang Fang Choi
GI Jane

Jiang is an experienced agent who is very skilled at stealth/infiltration and tech, decent in martial arts/silent takedowns, but only moderately skilled in open combat. If captured, she will probably be quietly executed since an agent missing on a stealth operation is an opportunity to sew confusion and distrust in the enemy. Jiang favors silenced pistols with subsonic ammunition, and knives.

Shilpa Raavi
GI Jane

Shilpa is extremely skilled in stealth/infiltration and social manipulation. She is also a skilled sharpshooter and an adequate long-range sniper. She can hold her own in open combat but it is not her forte. Similar to Jiang, if captured she will be executed and her body rendered unidentifiable. Shilpa is skilled with SMGs and DMRs.

Ines Carvalha
GI Jane

Ines is a techie who acts as GI Jane's voice-in-the-van. She manages operations from a distance, providing intel, hacking systems, and redirecting satellites as necessary. Ines has only the most basic firearms training. Her mobile unit is equipped with a PDW, but it would take her at least five or six seconds to even get it out of its storage bracket. If captured, Ines would be an invaluable source of information for SNEK. Due to her weak constitution, however, it's entirely possible that she might die of shock under extreme duress.


Helena Brinker

Helena is a terrorist for hire, specializing in mass casualty events. She is a high-ranking agent in SNEK, directing teams of lower-ranked operatives. Helena is an extremely skilled an experienced tactician, and her skills in open combat are notable. She is also very adept at infiltration and social manipulation. If she captures an enemy agent, she will torture them whether she believes they have information or not. Lower-ranked enemy agents will eventually be executed, but Helena has a penchant for attempting to turn higher-ranked agents. Most of her personal lieutenants are former enemy agents who she has made fanatically loyal to herself. If Helena herself is captured, she will be interrogated until she breaks. After she has given up all of the information she has, she will be executed publicly for her many horrendous crimes.

Nabirye Nwosu

Nabirye is a former GI Jane agent, who was turned by Helena Brinker after being captured. Nabirye is skilled in open combat in urban environments, with a minor specialty in demolition (for setting ambushes, breaching walls between buildings, etc). She also has survivalist and escape/evasion training. If captured, GI Jane will attempt to undo Helena Brinker's conditioning. If they are successful, there is a decent chance that Nabirye will turn out to be faking her de-conditioning, and betray her team at a crucial time.

Cualli Tonatzin Tecuhtli

Cualli is another former agent turned by Helena Brinker. Cualli is highly, highly skilled in all forms of armed and unarmed combat. When she worked for GI Jane, she acted as the pointman for assault teams. Her reaction time is world-class, and she is quite strong. Cualli prefers machine guns and man-portable launchers, but she is also skilled with blades and unarmed strikes. She is passable at stealth/infiltration. Like Nabirye, if captured GI Jane will probably attempt to undo Brinker's conditioning, but Cualli might secretly resist being de-conditioned.

Henchgirl 29

Vivacious Visitor
Oct 1, 2018
Heres some!

Josie Stark

Though she acts tough, she really just is a scrawny 19-year-old from New York. She joined cause she likes feeling badass and acting badass. In reality, she's completely out of her depth, and she'd rather be back at home cosplaying.
Screen Shot 2018-12-18 at 11.50.43 PM.png

Vivian Hellstrop

No one knows much about Vivian, in fact, the most people know about her is that Vivian is not her real name. Somewhere in her late 20's, she speaks with a heavy eastern European accent. She has bright red eyes and sleek white hair (Is she wearing contacts, does she dye her hair, everyone's too scared to ask.) She prefers to kill exclusively with a knife and she's damn good at it.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 12.27.04 AM.png

Leah O'Malley

Leah is just about the most unlucky person on the planet. The twenty-year-old who hails from north Ireland has joined SNEK by accident, and well, there's not really an easy way to quit. She is constantly found knocked out in embarrassing positions and has become a bit of a punching bag around SNEK.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 1.11.40 AM.png


Claire Waltz
GI Jane

Claire was recruited into GI Jane in her last year of college. The 21-year-old previously lived in South England. Equal parts pissed off about not being able to finish her education and having to show her skin for the first time in her life Claire is smart enough to know how to use a gun, but that's about it.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 1.12.01 AM.png

Eva Cruz
GI Jane

Hailing from Mexico this 26-year-old is extremely capable with a gun. Though she plays off the calm and collected persona, she is secretly pretty cocky and hotheaded.
Screen Shot 2018-12-19 at 1.22.38 AM.png


Swell Supporter
Aug 23, 2014
Also if you want to pad out the roster a bit more Gunsmith, you could also add in characters yourself. It's not frowned upon, as Kayfabe and Severity tend to often have a couple of their own characters in the roster in their threads. :smile::smile::smile:

-Paige is alive, but not particularly well, and even though she would rather not admit it to anyone, may have cried a bit. "Damn. Bullets hurt," She muttered to herself, clutching her aching chest.
-Anaconda eagerly awaits the ability to torture Speaker, as she finds it'll be fitting to torture a torturer. This is mere hypocrisy used to justify her own bloodthirsty nature though, as despite being on the side of justice, Anaconda quite enjoys inflicting pain on others as well, especially (but not limited to) when she deems it as a deserving punishment.

-Stingerette mumbled her displeasure under her her breath as she escaped the GI Janes. "Stupid bulletproof vests. I couldn't even take one random loser, damn it..."
-Vixen has an irritated look on her face throughout the whole escape trip but says nothing, having to listen to Stingerette's whining.
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Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
New rule: Next time I say I plan on getting something out in the next few days, call me out on my bullshit! Also, I did fewer rolls in this one in favor of a more complicated story. I'd like your thoughts on this system. I also try to take the characters themselves into account when deciding advantages/disadvantages, and always decide on advantages before actually rolling. I took some liberties with the characters, I hope no one minds what I did.

Clash 2:
The Fashion Show
SNEK is planning a daring raid to really put their name out and put terror in the hearts of men: An assassination at a fashion show!
The prince of a certain European country is attending, and publicly killing him should make the upper class give SNEK the fear and respect it deserves. Of course, the Jane unit is careful; they already have APB's out on the Stingrette, Helena and her thralls, and Snow. Though Vixen probably would have been ideal for this, she and Stingrette are not done with their 'punishment' yet.
Luckily, they have a few newer recruits that aren't wanted by almost every nation in the world: Josie, Leah, and Vivian.

The plan is simple: Josie and Leah will enter the fashion show as models, thanks to a modeling agency controlled by SNEK. Vivian will be a VIP connected to them, placed in the same box as the Prince, and carry out the assassination. Once he lies dead, Josie and Leah will deploy smoke bombs and the whole team will egress, showing the world why SNEK is to be feared!

The actual logistics of the mission is a bit harder though: all of them will likely be put through metal detectors, preventing any real weapons or armor. Josie and Leah will be getting glass smoke bombs, and Vivian is getting a ruby knife; all capable of their jobs, but not really that well. (Snek has a disadvantage whenever using items not procured on site.)

The Jane unit has gotten a bit of Intel courtesy of a new friend: They've acquired a mole in SNEK!
The SNEK unit plans to spread terror by launching an assassination at a popular fashion show! Unfortunately, they don't know who the target is, nor who is being sent to execute them. They try to get the show itself cancelled, but are rejected. Rather, they have to try to protect all the civilians without alerting anyone to their presence, including SNEK.
To this end, they've decided against using their more known units; Anaconda is out, as well as pretty much anyone with prior contact to the organization.

Ines is team leader, working from a van in the parking lot. Since she's perfectly safe, she's not wearing much more than her underwear despite being issued armor. Weak constitution and all that. Eva is in the VIP section, armed with a small SMG loaded with rubber bullets to avoid collateral damage. Claire, on the other hand, is infiltrating the models themselves. She'll have a pistol hidden in her dress, as well as some Kevlar weaved into it, but is still pretty exposed. She's similarly equipped with rubber bullets.

Josie, Leah, and Vivian infiltrate alright, but Vivian is placed on the other side of the VIP box from the prince. She has to both get close, and wait for one or both of her teammates to be on stage, if she wants this to work. They all settle into their roles, waiting for the night ahead.

Meanwhile, the Jane team is already fully prepared. Eva is in a suit, a little odd, but necessary to hide her armor and weapons. Claire, on the other hand, somehow managed to get the most revealing dress in the show! There's a note saying they ran out of Kevlar and used what they could get. They do realize her life is riding on this, right?
Roll for model skill/decorum
Josie: +2 from cosplay experience
1, crit fail, +2 advantage dropped as a result.
Leah: Unlucky, given a disadvantage
12 and 6, 6 used.
Vivian: -2 disadvantage due to her distinctive looks and personality; stands out in a crowd. Elite status is ignored since she's combat focused

Roll for model skill/decorum
Eva: +2 from elite status, explained away as her being used to pretending to be collected.

Eva perception roll:
+2 for elite status

The show begins, and Eva thinks she may have found one of the assassins: An odd white haired girl. Well, not so much 'odd' as much as 'threatening the waiters with a butter knife.' Needless to say, this goes against all of the manners Eva was taught in the briefing to this mission. She gets her SMG ready under the table, prepared to drop the girl the moment she makes a suspicious move.

Claire is nervous, she hasn't really worn a dress since she was 8, after all. Still, she goes up, does a simple walkaround, and returns. There's much praise about her performance, but it's more on the design of the dress itself and how it accentuates her features than how she 'wore' it, whatever the fuck that means.

Next is Leah; Her dress is poorly received, and she can hardly walk without tripping. She falls once, breaking her smoke grenade without setting it off! Luckily, no one notices the leak, as she quickly covers it with her hands and runs off.
Claire, Ines, and Eva don't even notice anything suspicious; the performance was so pathetic.

Josie takes the cake though: she was confident since she's used to cosplay, even taking an award home for going as power girl to comic-con, but dresses are very different. Just a few steps into her walk, she steps on the bottom hem, ripping the dress right off her! The Janes instantly spot the tactical rigging on the nearly-nude girl, and:
Roll for reaction: Claire/Eva

Eva:+2 elite
Eva wasn't watching the show, too engrossed in watching Vivian. Claire spots it though, and instantly pulls her gun out, popping Josie in the back of the head with a rubber bullet!
The poor cosplayer goes right down, falling in a pathetic heap as her consciousness is slammed right out of her. To add to the humiliation, she even loses control of her bladder, pissing herself on international television!
The plan is a failure, but the operation might not be! Vivian pulls out her knife, charging for the prince and-!
Clash, Eva vs. Vivian
Eva: +2 elite, +3 prepared bonuses
Vivian: +2 Elite bonus
Instantly gets taken out by Eva's SMG! The girl is so precise that not a single rubber bullet in the entire clip misses its mark, and Vivian is in a heap on the floor, body too covered in painful welts and bruises to resist arrest, or even hold her knife!
At this point, Leah knows she's screwed: Maybe, just maybe, she can run, get a plane home, and get away from all this! What she doesn't know is that the second Josie's dress fell, Ines started scouring the security footage, finding out who came from where and who they came with.
Ines perception roll:
Incompetent disadvantage cancelled by comfort bonus; she's in her home base.
Ines quickly puts out an APB on Leah, and Claire is on the case!
Claire vs. Leah
Leah has -2 panic bonus on top of her regular roll disadvantage.
Claire has +2 Intel advantage.
11 and 2, 11 dropped
Claire chases Leah down, finally catching the girl when she trips on her own dress! Leah immediately surrenders, begging not to be killed like Josie was!
After cuffing her, Claire explains to the hysteric Leah that it was a rubber bullet, and Josie is alive. This doesn't stop her sobbing and blubbering.

Overwhelming victory for the Jane unit!
All three SNEKS are captured.
No Janes wounded.
The operation was a total failure, as they not only failed to kill their target, or even hurt anyone, but they also failed to at least look intimidating about it. SNEK is now a laughingstock in the terrorist community, and the Jane unit has received heaps of praise.

Additionally, SNEK has not learned about the mole at this time, and they lost the modelling agency; an ideal recruitment pool.

Vivian is quickly put in solitary, her violent nature a huge risk to the other inmates.
Josie and Leah are put in the witness protection program, as they haven't really committed any crimes. Besides, you know, the attempted assassination, but their lawyers successfully argued they were under duress. When Vivian is your squadmate, that's an easy argument to make. Since SNEK can't get to them in the Witness Protection Program, and they're unlikely to re-offend, they're removed from the game.

Although safe in the witness protection program, Josie has to deal with the shame of the video of her being taken out going viral. It's very popular both as an 'idiot terrorist' video and as a 'humiliation fetish' video. Her stardom has also made her family perfectly aware of the tragic extent of her failings.

All three Janes have gone public in a big way; Claire is functionally the face of the organization now, her head-shot and foot chase in high heels becoming legendary. Everyone wants to interview her, get her autograph, or hear her brilliance on anti-terroism.
Not bad for her first op, but now she knows she'll never live up to the expectations. She's been pulled out of active combat for the time being to basically go on a PR tour. Now she just needs to learn how to do PR.

Eva is commended by several of the VIP's, and even receives a knighthood for her fast action defending the crowd from Vivian. Though not quite as much exposure as Claire, the VIP's remember her more, and there's even a fundraiser being held in her honor.

Ines was there, I guess. Since she was such an introvert, and never showed her face on camera, no one really knows about her. People know there was someone in the van, but not who. They're even getting a guy to play her in the movie version. Funny how fame works.​
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Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
Also, I'm planning on making a new type on mission: Rather than team vs. team 'clashes' all the time, I'll do single-team 'missions' where they basically lay the groundwork for a future clash. The missions will probably be shorter than clashes and involve fewer rolls. Finally, I'm still alive; but I think at this point it's safe to say you can't expect regular updates from me because I'm unreliable as hell and too busy playing Darkest Dungeon.

I'll also probably start giving extra boosts to characters after missions; It makes sense after such a good performance, or a horrid one. I guess I'll get around to that, and a character master post, in the next few days.
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Henchgirl 29

Vivacious Visitor
Oct 1, 2018
This story was well worth the wait! seriously good stuff dude! :eek::wat:

I made some kisekae to go along with the characters fates:

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Vivian is currently in solitary confinement, however she vowes that when she escapes she'll personally kill Leah and Josie for their incompetence.

Leah moved back to Ireland and is working in a bar to pay off her lengthy legal fees.

Claire is high off of her new success, and although she was previously indifferent on the idea of being a Jane, something about the excitement of completing a successful mission has driven a passion within her. The Fame is something different, however, and seeing her face plastered everywhere and having to go on a PR tour is a bit of a nightmare for her!

Eva is glad she doesn't have to wear a fucking dress anymore. The knighthood is nice too.

And last but not least Josie:
After weeks of seeing her naked body on the news and just about every Reddit thread she's been on, Josie has accepted the fact that her life is going to become a living hell. From remarks on the street to rejected job offers, nothing is going her way. Her phone was hacked and her nudes were leaked, which was surprising to her because she figured the cameras at the fashion show caught about every angle of her and her C cups. Her Family has disowned her and she's had to file at least three restraining orders. At least she's got a shit-ton more Instagram followers, however, Instagram followers don't pay off lengthy legal bills.


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
Mission 1
Trying to get something, anything, to get the news cycle off of the embarrassment that was the fashion show operation, SNEK is launching another mission almost immediately after Josie's nudes are leaked. Because of the haste, they're using whoever is on hand, and really targeting whoever they can.
The unlucky target: The CEO of a multinational fast food company. The corporate headquarters is about five minutes from SNEK's safehouse in a tactically advantageous spot; and if SNEK succeeds, they should have access to free tacos important provisions.

SNEK is a little desperate for good press.

Going on this mission is Snow, Helena, and her Thralls, Nabirye and Cualli. Snow has some doubts about the loyalty of the latter two at first, a sentiment which quickly turns to doubts about the sanity of their master after seeing how thorough the brainwashing is.
SNEK is taking no chances on this: The dice gods may hate them, but It may be overkill, but the team has full tactical gear, access to explosives, and high-caliber guns.

This setup is pretty unfitting for the actual mission goal: Intimidate the CEO into giving SNEK bribes. That's all. They don't even need to break anything.

Snow, following beliye kolgotky traditions, is going to set up unseen in a building across from the headquarters. If something goes wrong, she's to at least make SNEK look threatening again by shooting the CEO's private area off. Her idea. Something about psychological warfare.
Helena's team will handle the actual intimidation. The plan is to cut the phone lines out of the building, deploy a jammer to prevent calls to 911, climb the stairs to the CEO's office, blow a hole in the wall next to his door just to be petty, and wave a gun in his face until he caves. The only obstacles should be a few security guards hired primarily to look good, panicing employees, and the inherent risk of sending a bunch of sociopaths to have a chat with someone.
Snow's sniping
+2 because I like obscure, foreign urban legend references.
why does the RNG hate snek
what the hell do I even put for this

Helena's team vs. security
+2 elite
Enemy security:
natural 20
This was supposed to be an easy mission to hit all the SNEK's I haven't gotten yet and it's shaping up to be a total party kill. Why


+2 elite
1, another fucking crit fail. As usual, bonuses are ignored.

i just... why. I'm gonna need more SNEKS everyone, the organization is so incompetent that they can't even get tacos without at least one death.
Snow doesn't even get to the floor she wanted; she tripped on the stairs and her gun went off, sending the building into lockdown. The police are called to an active shooting before Helena's team even gets near the door. Snow, for her credit, tries to warn the others; sadly, she fell on her radio.

The security of the headquarters just went on alert for some reason; This shouldn't be an issue for Helena's team though. They're here to kick ass and take names, so Helena scraps the plan and has Nabirye announce their presence with a bomb to the front door!
The security team responds with tear gas, pepper shot, and tasers. The tear gas stuns Helena and Cualli long enough that they both eat a pepper shot to the face. Screaming on the ground, they stumble around trying to escape, but only really succeed in presenting an excellent target for tasers.
Nabirye does a little better; one of the members of the security team trips on Cualli's writhing body, giving the demolition expert time to gut the poor girl with her knife!

I should not need this. fucking hell.
7 vs. 7, re-roll.
8 vs. 13. SNEK loses.
She makes a valiant effort, injuring and killing a few more of the security team with bombs, but Nabirye eventually succumbs to the gas, and the pepper spray, and the rubber bullets, and the tasers, and the batons. After a few more minutes beating the absolute piss out of the dice-cursed terrorists, the security team shows pity on the gassed, irritated, electrocuted, and beaten girls by just cuffing them. All three girls are taken in by local police, the entire event going south so fast that the Jane team doesn't find out for about a month.
Snow is saved by shit luck; after what went down in the building across the street, lockdown on her sniping point is lifted because everyone just assumes that the gunshot they heard was Helena's explosive entrance. She manages to sneak out the back, cutting through some alleys, and gets back to the safe house.

When questioned, she blames Helena for everything. This works.

I need more SNEKS.
Helena's team is all gone, captured by national police. G.I. Jane tries to get their old girls back, but they ultimately fail to get a pair of terrorists released to their custody. Something about national borders and them being an international organization, preventing them from claiming jurisdiction. This does open up the possibility of escape though; assuming SNEK can spare the resources.
The silver lining here is that Jane simply doesn't think that SNEK would hold any resources next to such a spectacular failure bold terrorist operation. The safehouse is still good, and Snow is left alone to check her gun safety and pretend this whole mess isn't her fault. Additianally, because they actually hurt people and cause property damage, they DID succeed in presenting themselves in an intimidating light. Even if now working for them is considered career suicide for all the young, hip terrorists.

In other news, I've fully accepted that SNEK is cursed, and the next single team mission will be heavily bias to prevent this shit. Seriously, screw this fair dice war shit, NPC's will need to get nat 20's to even hurt anyone at this rate. Knowing SNEK's luck, they'll still lose. Clashes will still be fair though.​


Vivacious Visitor
Oct 3, 2018
I need more SNEKS desperately guys. I'm thinking I'll move from 1d20 rolls to 3d6 rolls to try and reduce the chances of very high or very low rolls. I might also stop acknowledging crits because they really fucked my plan for the next clash, and getting the rest of the unused Janes out.
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Ryonani Teamster
Dec 15, 2009
hahahahahahahaahaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh that is too good. big bad Helena taken down by some stairs, lollll

i'll work on some more SNEKs

Henchgirl 29

Vivacious Visitor
Oct 1, 2018
Here's some SNEKs

Lena Fournier

Lena, 21, is a ditzy Parisian girl who joined SNEK solely for the money. Since French is her first language, she was unaware of what she was signing up for. Being easily gullible, she was tricked into doing a fair amount of evil and wearing the absolute skimpiest uniform. She is fairly capable in a fight, she speaks in a heavy French accent, and she has been known to bite her enemies!
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Her tits keep falling out of her "uniform"

Maddie Jones

Fast, agile, strong. This 24-year-old Californian has won countless awards for weightlifting running and just about anything athletic you can think of. And on top of all that, she has a bachelors degree. Maddie is prissy and self-centered not caring about anyone but herself, she is known to bully lesser member of SNEK. However, despite being incredibly smart and strong her neck is just about as snapable as anyone elses.
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Lilly Chen

Lilly was hired by SNEK for IT Consulting which the 22-year-old Chinese-American is quite adept at. However, past that point, she has often been chosen to go on nontechnical missions. With absolutely no upper body strength and terrible hand eye coordination if she ever encountered an enemy she'd be fucked. Until then Lilly prays for the day she can get some time off to watch some anime and take off her humiliating uniform.
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Swell Supporter
Aug 23, 2014
I don't have access to my laptop right now (constant technical difficulties with that thing) so I'm unable to use kisekae. So I'll give descriptions and hopefully be able to add kisekae versions later.

All SNEKs of course:

Lainey Lane- incompetent
Lainey has a small frame but is fit with toned muscles. She has a simplistic idealized version of what being a SNEK means, which basically consists of "being a sexy alpha bitch who gets to do whatever she wants." She proudly (and stupidly) wears nothing but brightly colored thongs and small bikini tops that seem to be several sizes too small that cover her average sized, but perky breasts. She takes pride in showing off her "perfect body" and will vainly gloat about how much sexier she is than her enemies, sometimes even allies, and sometimes even complete strangers who rightfully look at her like she's a lunatic because well... she is one. She has dyed pink hair because she believes it makes her look unique, though her full "look" is more similar to that of a stripper than of a terrorist. As she's considered annoying even by most of her allies, they likely wouldn't be in too much of a rush to help her if she was in danger.

-Wendy Burkett, codename "Bruiser" - Elite
Wendy is a busty tall tomboyish brunette who doesn't really like her large assets and curves because as a boxer, they not only get in the way, but make good targets for her enemies. She grew up on the streets of London, surviving on her own and earning winnings from street brawls she entered. She was recruited by SNEK for her talents and generally fights up close with brass knuckles, but is more than willing to use a gun if in a scenario where range is required. Despite what her animalistic beatdowns might imply, she's a generally calm and rational person who thinks things through before doing them.

-Aya Shizori- incompetent
A nihilistic 18 year old Japanese schoolgirl who just wants to watch the world burn. She blends in plain sight because she looks like an average girl, and sometimes even pretends to be SNEK's hostage before sticking a knife in the throat of her would-be "rescuers." She joined SNEK to get revenge on the society she hates. She has a god complex but in the end she's just an a angsty teen with no combat experience, and it would not take much effort for a GI Jane to overpower her.
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