What do you do when a partner asks you what your fetish is?


Casual Client
Recently I've gone from what I guess you could call an 'incel' to someone who can manage to land a realtionship. I have this issue where women I'm keep asking me what my fetish is. I always just say 'panties' because its half true. I can get off really easily to just looking at panties. I have not told anyone about my fetish, not even my therapist. My biggest fear is telling an ultra-feminist type who goes on to publically 'expose' me for being a sicko or a weirdo and honestly I just haven't run into anyone who I trust enough to let that deep into my mind. Sometimes when I'm in bed with someone they ask me "what are you thinking about when you close your eyes like that" I don't have an easy answer. Not on the spot. My fetish is way too hard to explain, and pretty much impossible to recreate. Who the hell outside of here knows what 'Zako' is anyway? I think the only way I could explain it to them would be to show them an episode of Agent Aika, but I would have to know someone for years before doing that.

Deleted member 245028

Potential Patron
When you start throwing lingo you might intimidate them about the subject as a whole. So don't use the word Zako. Depending on the social acceptability of a fetish, you should start small and work towards introducing the real you. The key is to be open minded and nonchalant and hopefully she will be too.

Start with some small aspect of the fetish and let her play with that idea. As she acclimates and sees how much you enjoy it, you can slowly build and add more elements.

If you see her becoming uncomfortable over time as you introduce her to what you like, then maybe you aren't compatible. A healthy partner will enjoy what you enjoy because they want you to be satisfied. If she is right for you on a deep level, she will even adopt a bit of a fascination with it herself, only because of the mental triggers of knowing it does something for you.

They are out there. You shouldnt need to worry about the ultra feminist types because even they have kinks and if they like you enough, you'll get past that armor or... you just aren't compatible.

It's just exploring limits. Even vanilla people sometimes have a kinky side deep down that they've never explored. Fetishes are deeply rooted fixations in your mind, but kinks are different. Some people develop a kink just because they enjoyed it with a partner and would not have organically happened upon it normally.

Also, reciprocate.
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