TM94's Dialogues - Jingle balls and mistletoe. (1 Viewer)

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Lost in the woods with Windrunner

Shit, messed up the you and me again.

Will sort that now and release the fixed version and add finish other lines too.

Right that's all sorted, I've added %0A to a finish line so not sure if that will work or not, the line is fine if it doesn't work.
 

One With The Shadows

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Jinx's Anarchy

Dante said:
th

And then proceeds to smash it on the ground. AND I THREW IT ON THE GROUND!
 
T

tetronchik

Re: LN's Dialogues - Lost in the woods with Windrunner

Hi man. I really liked your dialogues and I would like to know how's it going?
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Lost in the woods with Windrunner

Currently working on Hex Maniac, it's currently my biggest and most complicated dialogue yet so it's taking some time.

Finished part 1 of 4 last night and fixed all the current errors so my guestimate is getting this done before Xmas. I will try and get Drow and one of my OC's done before then.
 

Hank East

Content Creator
Joined
Jan 25, 2012
Re: LN's Dialogues - Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession.

that OC dialogue is pretty good, mate
 

f93

Casual Client
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession.

TheCrimsonFuckr said:
that OC dialogue is pretty good, mate
Yeah, it actually was very good. A little yandere (I use this word too much, and I have no idea if anyone knows what it means), without going overboard into the "she is going to kill you" territory. Can't wait for Hex Maniac, which is sounding promising.

Also in the flurry of PMs regarding it I almost referred to it as Confession Obsession, which would be a dialogue in which the girl would confess to increasingly ridiculous things like being the original inventor of the question mark. I'm glad I corrected it to Compression Recession, like it should be.
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession.

Thanks guys. Now onto the next one.
 

Pim_gd

Content Creator
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession.

Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession

SDT:
4: Adding custom line: "lineX"
5: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
6: Adding custom line: "Him"
7: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
8: Adding custom line: "Thought"
9: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
10: Adding custom line: "Normal"
11: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
12: Adding custom line: "true"
13: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
14: Adding custom line: "false"
15: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}
Unexpected }
16: Adding custom line: "val"
17: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}}
Unexpected }
18: Adding custom line: "Happy"
19: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
,"held":"false"}
Unexpected ,
20: Adding custom line: "val"
21: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}}
Unexpected }
22: Adding custom line: "+1"
23: ERROR - Could not decode custom settings:
}}
Unexpected }
This is BAD. Like real BAD.
Don't put things "for reference" in there. If you must, keep it in a separate .txt file, and don't include it in the final dialogue. SDT doesn't like it, and *cough* I don't like it. (I feel like I just scored some arrogance points.)

Moving on.
Line 103: intro2:"I like kissing but first I wanna play hide the prize![introH2]"
Could use some comma's...
"I like kissing, but first I wanna play (...)"

Line 104: intro3:"Yeah, I'll explain how it works. %0AI get you dick out and hide it in my mouth and eventually I'll get a prize![introH3]"
"I get you dick out" -> "I get your dick out" (+" of those tight pants, and (...)" maybe)
"and hide it in my mouth and eventually I'll get a prize!" -> "and hide it in my mouth, and eventually, I'll get a prize!"

Line 120-139
I don't know if that works comfortable for you, but try to keep your line naming and line positioning in place. You're going from the first general line to generalH to general2 to generalH3, and from the 4th general line to generalH4 to general3
And now that I put it like that, it makes sense... (H1-2-H3 and from 4 to 4, then third line 3) but it's still pretty fucked up and hard to follow.
Minor issue anyway - it doesn't affect the result, it just makes editing harder. Try not dividing lines between him and her as your main division - seperate your lines by trees of dialogue. You do this confusing her-him-her thing in the intro too.

Line 145: resistance:"Gimme it!"
Is that valid English? I don't know myself, not really entirely familiar with all sorts of contractions like gonna, gimme, wanna and their friends.

Line 188-192:
***** His Hand Job Lines *****

hand_job_strokeH:"What you mean in person?[hand_job_stroke2]"
hand_job_strokeH2:"You gave me a handjob while I was sleeping!"
hand_job_strokeH3:"You have a doll of me? That's a bit.Б.Б. creepy."
This is why I question whether splitting the lines into categories like this even helps. It probably helps to keep all your lines of one type in one place (all resistance lines, etc...) but it's clearly not working for separation of him/her lines.
You should have him say his own lines, rather than having creepy girl speak for him.

Line 183: hand_job_stroke:"I've been practacing on my doll of you. I'm getting quite good now.[hand_job_strokeH3]"
"practacing" -> "practicing"
spell checkers ftw, I'm telling you
If you have chrome, (or does firefox come with built-in spellchecker too?) before posting your dialogue, just hit quick reply under your thread, then plonk your dialogue in there. Don't actually post it - just copy-paste it in the box. Any bad words will have red lines under them - right click to fix. Sadly, chrome here is very, uh... innocent, and doesn't know all the dirty words. So it's possible to get a few false positives.

Line 243: first_throat:"Come on, just a little bit more"{"style":"Thought"}
Missing sentence ending.

Line 252: first_dt:"Oh wow that feels soooo good."
could use a comma: "Oh wow, that feels soooo good."

Line 284: vigorous:"[SHOCK]Wow, you're really getting into this now aren't you."
When using a tag ("don't you"/"aren't you"/"are you" and friends, at the end of the sentence), you always use a comma, don't you? Yeah, you do.
"blah blah blah, don't you" is actually "blah blah blah, or do you not (agree/feel that way/act that way)"
So yeah - you should add a comma. "Wow, you're really getting into this now, aren't you." Alternatively, add a question mark at the end (, aren't you?)

Line 308: cum_in_mouth:"Is it cozy in there, little guys?"
Line 311: cum_in_throat:"Oh no, I never got to say hello to them."
Line 334: drool:"Oh no! Come back, little guys."
Line 335: drool:"Where are you going, come back..."
Good lines, love the humor.

If you want you can send your dialogues directly to me and I'll check them by hand, but that does mean you could have to wait a couple (1-2) days for me to find the motivation (half-assed checking leads to half-assed dialogues) and time to check it.
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Stacy Harvey and her obsession confession.

Thanks Pim.

I'll keep that in mind.
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

I've decided that because I'm starting to churn these out quite quickly I'm going to release 1 a week instead of when they are done.

So expect Sophie Day next week and Zoey Sharp the week after.
 

StevieC

Potential Patron
Joined
Nov 13, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

The latex model v2 dialogue's intro only shows blank boxes with no dialogue in them.
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

StevieC said:
The latex model v2 dialogue's intro only shows blank boxes with no dialogue in them.

Latex Model?
 

f93

Casual Client
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

StevieC said:
The latex model v2 dialogue's intro only shows blank boxes with no dialogue in them.
That's one of mine, so wrong thread.
And you're absolutely right, so I'll upload a fixed version.
 

LN1990

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

f93 said:
StevieC said:
The latex model v2 dialogue's intro only shows blank boxes with no dialogue in them.
That's one of mine, so wrong thread.
And you're absolutely right, so I'll upload a fixed version.

Was gonna say. My intro's work perfectly.....[COUGH][COUGH]
 

Pim_gd

Content Creator
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

DialogueChecker v2.10 has been released, and it's showing some issues for your dialogues.

Jinx's Anarchy (v2.2)
Dialogue was checked in 182 ms with v2.10 of the DialogueChecker.
I found 9 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 9 were major issues, and 0 were minor issues.
Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 69. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 69: lick_balls:"Can I take these with me?[lick_balls2"{"mood":"Ahegao"}

Syntax - Major: Space in trigger on line 69, col 67.
SDT does not accept spaces in triggers - triggers with spaces in them will appear as plain text in dialogues.
Line 69: lick_balls:"Can I take these with me?[lick_balls2"{"mood":"Ahegao"}

Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([lick_balls2"]) on line 69 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 69: lick_balls:"Can I take these with me?[lick_balls2"{"mood":"Ahegao"}

Line Usage - Major: Line 74 is unused!
Line 74: lick_balls2:"NO![lick_balls3]"{"style":"Him"}

Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 148. This could indicate a coding error.
Line 148: cum_on_face:"Now you've shot me, "I'm gonna shoot you,ББББ.ББББ.ББББ.БББ%0AHmm, nah, I changed my mind."{"mood":"Angry"}

Syntax - Major: A third double quote was found on line 148, col 103, before finding a { in that line. This indicates a coding error.
Line 148: cum_on_face:"Now you've shot me, "I'm gonna shoot you,ББББ.ББББ.ББББ.БББ%0AHmm, nah, I changed my mind."{"mood":"Angry"}

Syntax - Major: Excess characters (I'm gonna shoot you,ББББ.ББББ.ББББ.БББ%0AHmm, nah, I changed my mind.") between line content and line attributes on line 148. This indicates a syntax error.
Line 148: cum_on_face:"Now you've shot me, "I'm gonna shoot you,ББББ.ББББ.ББББ.БББ%0AHmm, nah, I changed my mind."{"mood":"Angry"}

Line Usage - Major: Duplicate finish line (finishOther was first declared on line 211) on line 212:
Duplicate finish lines will not be loaded properly. Use a trigger to a normal line instead if you're using finishes for an entire line.
If you're using finishes to insert part of a line, consider making a callback function that sets a variable to one of your linesections.
Then you could insert that variable in your finish line.
Line 212: finishOther:"One more time, but you better not put your fat hands on me again butt face!"

Line Usage - Major: Duplicate finish line (finishOther was first declared on line 211) on line 213:
Duplicate finish lines will not be loaded properly. Use a trigger to a normal line instead if you're using finishes for an entire line.
If you're using finishes to insert part of a line, consider making a callback function that sets a variable to one of your linesections.
Then you could insert that variable in your finish line.
Line 213: finishOther:"TsaHahahehehehahahahahahaБББББББhah!"

Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

Windrunner (v1.1)
Dialogue was checked in 138 ms with v2.10 of the DialogueChecker.
I found 3 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 2 were major issues, and 1 were minor issues.
Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([YOU]) in a variable substitution (*[YOU][intro11Named]*) on line 17 refers to a non-existing line.
Line 17: intro10:"Ok.[intro11]*[YOU][intro11Named]*"{"style":"Him"}

Grammar - Minor: Space at start of new line on line 234, col 58 near "(...) right?%0A No (...)"
Line 234: finishother:"I think you may just be faking it now, right?%0A No one can be tense after 8 times."

Line Usage - Major: Duplicate finish line (finishother was first declared on line 233) on line 234:
Duplicate finish lines will not be loaded properly. Use a trigger to a normal line instead if you're using finishes for an entire line.
If you're using finishes to insert part of a line, consider making a callback function that sets a variable to one of your linesections.
Then you could insert that variable in your finish line.
Line 234: finishother:"I think you may just be faking it now, right?%0A No one can be tense after 8 times."

Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

Additionally I'm not sure, but...
does "finishother" (in windrunner) work? Could you test that?
I wonder whether SDT is case-sensitive with that.

... Additionally, you can ignore the first issue for the windrunner dialogue - It's a bug in the DialogueChecker - it can't properly identify combinations of triggers and variablesubstitution/insertions yet.
 

f93

Casual Client
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

Pim_gd said:
Additionally I'm not sure, but...
does "finishother" (in windrunner) work? Could you test that?
I wonder whether SDT is case-sensitive with that.
It is case sensitive, and it's pretty easy to prove finishother wouldn't work, so here's an example of that. If it worked, she'd say "lowercase" sometimes, but she only ever says "uppercase". It also doesn't show up in the wildcard edit screen.
Edit: Removed file because it's completely irrelevant now.
 

Pim_gd

Content Creator
Joined
Jan 25, 2013
Re: LN's Dialogues - Sophie Day the professional relationship fixer.

Will add that to the checker, then.
 

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