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The Adventures of Teen Girl - Chapter 3

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by kained, Jul 27, 2010.

  1. kained

    kained Ryonani Teamster

    Dec 26, 2009
    Likes Received:
    This is hopefully my best chapter yet. To me, ryona is simply more than physical pain delivered to a beautiful woman. It's about shame and emotional anguish. And sometimes, tragedy. That's what I've tried to achieve with this chapter.

    Any constructive criticisms are always appreciated. As always, I'm looking for collaborators. Anyone who can draw and enjoys my work, if you could draw stuff to go with the stories that would be awesome. Maybe if you guys know someone on deviantart or something, you could ask for me.

    Bio and Chapter 1 - http://www.ryonani.com/showthread.php?t=1004

    The Adventures of Teen Girl - Chapter 2 - http://www.ryonani.com/showthread.php?t=1409

    I hope you enjoy.

    Standard warning - Story is intended for people of legal age to read. Contains adult themes and extreme violence against women.

    Late in the night. Hyde Maximum Security Prison. Rain pours down into the gravel dirt of the courtyard.

    "Transfer fer the three wannabe supervillains", says a prison guard, handing paperwork to another, as an armoured van pulls into the courtyard. "Really? They's only jus' got here!" replies the 2nd disgruntled guard. "Special delivery fer the feds!" says the first man.

    Being led out in chains sans their armour costumes are Razorclaw, Big Package, and Jetpack. Without his costume, Big Package is 6'5, a bald bodybuilder. Jetpack is a short white man with ginger hair. The asian Razorclaw's ponytail blows in the wind. They're lead into the back of the van.

    Some distance down the road, the partition at the front of the van is pulled across, revealing a shallow faced man with an evil grin. "We were beginning to think you'd never pick us up, Lucas", Razorclaw addresses him. "Just be glad the Syndicate decided not to leave you here to rot, Huai" says the thin man. "That was some expensive gear that little girl tore apart. Not to worry, though! We have surveillance tapes of the whole battle. My mind is already brimming with ideas for improvements. Those suits will look like mere prototypes compared to what I'll cook up next!"

    "She's a lot more resilient than she looks..." says Big Package, an oddly polite English accent coming from his large frame. His suit had apparently enhanced his voice to sound rough and imposing. "Very agile, too. We'll need more than simple add ons to conquer her."

    "She won't stand a chance next time, my large friend" Lucas says confidently. "When we first stole this technology we assumed the enhancements to strength, speed, and agility would be more than enough for this girl. But now that we've tested the technology and we know what we're dealing with, and now that we have money coming in from the real bank job we pulled across town, we'll not only build better suits. We'll build more. She barely escaped from the three of you... imagine how she'll fair against a small army".

    Haui smiles.

    Megan's bedroom. The rain raps on her window.

    The girl slumps slowly to her knees. She holds her bandaged covered belly, the pain in her ribs is too much to keep her composure. She's painfully aware that all she is wearing are her bandages and underwear. The grotesque Mr. Ross stands smugly in front of her. His large round belly pushing his waistband in an almost comical fashion. "You're probably thinking of taking this phone from me and destroying it, and then beating the holy hell outta me. For you, that would be no problem. What you did early tonight is all over the news. You're more popular than ever, and more of an enemy than ever to every thief and murderer in the city. I'll save you the energy and just tell you now, I have a back up. I'm not stupid."

    Groaning, Megan looks up. "How... how did you get in here?" He replies in laughter, "Your parents left the front door unlocked! Nobody was home! I came right up here and made myself comfortable, even read part of your diary. Too bad you won't be losing your virginity the way you pictured, but things don't always go the way we want in life!"

    That's when her hand wraps around his balls in a vice like grip. She makes herself stand, her teeth grinding in anger. Strands of her still wet hair fall in front of her blue eyes. "Listen to me... you fucking fat pervert! Tonight I've had my ribs broken, I've been beaten around half the town by men who could topple buildings. Since I've had my powers, people have shot at me, I've wiped the floor with entire gangs. But you, you come into my room alone, and you think you can just make me do what you want?"

    Ross shakes like a tree in the wind. Two minutes ago he would not have believed this small, half naked, teenage girl was capable of so much anger. Yet here she is, just about ready to rip his balls off. "Never in my wildest dreams would I touch a sweating slob like you. Tell me right now. Where is the backup?" She squeezes a little tighter.

    "AGH! OH GOD!! Okay!! It's in- in my house! My computer!"

    Holding back just enough of her strength that she won't shatter every bone in his face, she backhands him. He lands on the floor, blood pouring from his mouth, she goes to her closet and dresses quickly in jeans and a t-shirt, before she throws on a raincoat. She zips herself up tightly. "Let's go". She grabs him, and they both fly out the window.

    Soon, in a different neighbourhood across the town, she throws him right through an upstairs window. He scurries around the broken glass like a frightened rat, and she lands gracefully in front of him.

    The room is a mess. Fitting for a pigsty. His bed covers drapped half on the floor, clothes everywhere, the stench of underwear that needs washed. This is not her concern now. She looks at a computer sitting on a desk in the corner. She holds him by his jacket in the air with one hand. "It's on the hard drive!!" He screams. She drops him, lifts up the hard drive, and throws it to the floor. She crushes it under her foot, little bits of board lying broken amongst the glass. "Anything else?" She whispers. "N-no", he mumbles, quivering. She picks him up by the throat, forcing him against the wall. "Anything else??" She glares at him. "NO! GOD NO! I SWEAR!" Still holding him, she can feel the blood flow in his throat. They both know that with the slightest bit of pressure she could snap his neck. "If my secret ever got out - it's not just me they'd come after. My family would be in danger. I can't let that happen. I can't let anything happen to my family! You understand how serious that is? You can't use my secret against me as a sick game!"

    She lets him drop. "Now you know how I felt earlier tonight. Frightened. Broken. I want you to resign at the school. If you don't, I'll be back to break every one of your fingers. You got it?" "Yes! I got it!" He screams, cowering behind his arms. She flies out the window, and back to her home.

    She enters her bedroom window, the rain and dark night should cover her entrance. Undressing, she places her coat and clothes back in the closet. Half naked, her skin glistening with some of the rain, she begins crying. It's the kind of cry that shows how women still feel like little girls from time to time. She has never felt more vulnerable - beaten to the point she thought she would die, sitting on the edge of her bed with no idea how many of her bones are broken, her whole life threatened by a disgusting man who had read her most private thoughts.

    She searches her drawers for her diary. At least he left it where he found it. She reads the part that he had read. Something she had written only days before the fateful day she gained her powers.

    I've had what I could only describe as the most vivid dream I've ever had. I am barefoot, walking lightly along the grass, across a hilltop. I'm wearing a silk sheer nightie, with straps on the shoulders revealing a lot of neckline, it comes to the tops of my thighs. I could feel the light breeze on my bare skin and the silk just made me feel - oooooooh! I come to a meadow with sun beams coming through the leaves of the trees. I walk behind one of the trees, like I'm hiding. But I'm not scared - it's a fun game, and I'm laughing. It begins raining lightly, a spring shower, the nightie clings to my skin, my curves and breasts are visible through the material, my long hair is wet and clings to my face and back, and I have never felt more sexy. A tall man with dark hair and a suit appears. Even in his suit I can tell he has an athletic body. He finds me, chasing me from behind the tree. When he catches up with me, we're both laughing, and we kiss - I drape my arms around his head, running my hands through his soft curly hair, he clings my waist, bringing me closer to him.

    We fall on the grass, rolling and laughing again, then I bring him in for another kiss, biting his lower lip softly. I remove his clothes and I was right - his perfectly formed athletic body lies on top of mine. He is some years older than me. A handsome older man. He takes me - we have sex. In the spring rain on the grass. He whispers gently in my ear - "I love you".

    When I woke up, I was soaked. I had never felt like that before. If my first time could be like that dream, I don't think I would ever feel as content.

    After reading the passage, she puts the book away. Disgusted and also embarrassed she burns red at the thought of Ross reading this - getting off on it. She curls up in her bed switching off her light. Her exhausted body has no trouble drifting to sleep.

    She dreams. Her dream calls up a soothing memory from years before. Her father helping her with homework. It's a simple memory, but something that warms her heart. "Never give up," her Father whispers. "Sometimes the work seems too hard, or too much, and you might feel too tired - but you can never give up".

    1 week ago. Secret Military Complex

    The floor of a large warehouse is criss crossed with a large network of cables and wires, hooked up to dozens of large computers. Men in white coats scurry back and forth, relying data to each other. A military general walks through the room side by side with a scientist. At the centre of the room is a big chair, surrounded by a glass chamber. Inside is a skinny bald man, writhing, trying in vain to free himself from his manacles. Tubing has been linked up into his arms.

    The scientist holds up a clipboard and speaks. "Test subject 32.41.A. Name: Unknown. Age: Tests indicate around 36 years of age. Codename: Raptor. Criminal charged and sentenced to serve 120 years. Twenty five counts of rape and assault. Eight counts of murder.

    We will be using the subject to test the chemical substance known as sadisium and its practicality in the field of combat. The subject will be flooded with this chemical and then an electrical charge of 2,450 volts will be administered to the subject, at which point the chemical should react".

    The scientist and general stop several feet in front of the man known as Raptor. A small man in stature, he had been known for preying on young women, often using blunt objects to knock them unconscious, or using drugs, before kidnapping them. He had been in and out of prison on 2 separate occasions - on the 3rd time, the judge had decided he had no more chances left, and would rot in prison until he died. That was 3 years ago.

    "If this junk does what you say it can do..." says General Thrawn, a man with a reputation for his instinct and ruthlessness. "Oh, General, I'm sure you'll find that my chemical compound more than delivers" answers Hoffman, a man with an equally high reputation. Both are the type of men who believe the ends justify the means. The chemical, and the tests on Raptor, are their means.

    "Activate the compound. Begin the countdown," Hoffman yells to his subordinates.

    A voice booms from some speakers. "5... 4... 3... 2... 1..."

    The chemical, a rusty coloured substance, pumps out into the tubing, and into Raptor's arms. He squirms uncomfortably, then his eyes shoot open, the chemical causing him some pain. His arms begin flaring a red colour. "Begin the electrical charge!" Yells Hoffman.

    Raptor is hit with the force of the electrocution. His nose and ears bleed, his yell would be heard all over the warehouse if it weren't for the metal gag in his mouth. The electricity is allowed to course through him for a further 15 seconds before they stop it.

    The man falls silent. And then, he is squirming again, his arms growing larger, his whole frame becomes taller. The manacles are no longer large enough to contain his wrists and they burst open like a toy snapping. The metal gag is spat out along with a mouthful of blood. He stands within the glass chamber. What was before a 5'4 man that was little more than skin and bones is now a 7ft giant, his body rippling with muscles.

    "Excellent, Hoffman, excellent!" General Thrawn exclaims gleefully. But the big man pounds a fist onto the chamber, shattering it completely. "Hoffman!!!" Thrawn yells. "What?? That chamber was 4 inches thick. I assure you it was created with the utmost care!" Hoffman tries to explain himself even as the newly created behemoth attempts escape from the facility. "A bomb could not have cracked that chamber!"

    Soldiers rush into the building as alarms sound. They fire upon the big man, but the bullets simply bounce off him. They might as well be throwing rocks at a wall. Raptor swats them aside. He destroys expensive equipment as he goes, the building catches on fire. He punches a large hole in the building, and runs off into the night.

    "Hoffman, you idiot!" Thrawn is furious, Hoffman is dumbfounded. "I did not think the compound would be so powerful within a human test subject. What- what are we going to do now?" "We have to keep a lid on this. We'll silently track him down and bring him back in", the General answers.

    For the first day of his escape, Raptor is confused, running on instinct, eating from garbage and living under a box in an alley way. His darker urges are ever present, he rapes 3 separate women on the first night. His strength is so great that they die easily, left as corpses with destroyed internal organs, his new girth is massive. The poor women are left busted open like a cannonball hit them. The electrical charge did a real number on his brain - but he heals quickly. By the 2nd day, he has the full faculty of his human brain back. More, even. He robs from a convenience store. He kills the clerk - he didn't need to, but he did it anyway. In his past life, he was a sad man with no power, who took it out on his victims. But now that he has power, he wields it viciously.

    By the end of a week, he pays in cash for an apartment, uses his old contacts to set up a new identity. He knows that he must lay low, that the government will be looking for him. But despite this knowledge and his new found intelligence, he cannot deny his sick instincts. For all of the women that the police knew about, there were hundreds more women he left ruined in his past life. In his new life, he goes out each night, using his new power to rip women apart.

    It's a new day for Megan. The day after her greatest victory - 3 super villains behind bars. She stands in the bathroom and removes her bandages gingerly. She feels around her ribs - no sign of anything broken. She guesses that maybe 3 of her ribs had been broken last night. And now it's as if the bones mended - not just mended, it's as if they didn't break in the first place. But there is still bruising, and some internal pain, enough that it hurts when she walks. Her breasts are bruised, she has a black eye she didn't notice before that really stings at any touch, although the cuts have mostly healed. At this rate, by the end of the day there would be no sign. She takes off the bandages, and dresses in girly pijamas, her generous breasts are large on her thin frame, clevage showing at the edge of the tank top, her long soft hair drapped over her shoulders. On her way down stairs she almost doubles over. Best to take the day off, she thinks. Her parents had already left. Typical. With everything that has happened, she can't talk to a single soul. Now even writing it in her diary no longer feels private. And it's not like she can talk to her parents about much of anything, superheroic or just normal. Sighing, she fixes her breakfast and curls up on the sofa. First thing tomorrow, she will check if Ross has quit his job.

    Maybe some research into future superhero activities will take her mind off that slob, and the pain. She reads today's paper. She discovers a disturbing article about a string of murders over the last few days. All women. The murders have been graphic and grotesque to the point that the article states it can't reveal all the details, although each woman has been raped and dismembered. 13 murders in all, mostly prostitutes, this week alone, all believed to have been done by the same group. The police believe it's a group, because no single person could have committed these acts. The murders have taken place in the same 5 block area of the city, every night of the week.

    Even the scarce details are revolting to the teenager. "I have to do something..." But when? Leave it until tomorrow, and surely there will be more victims tonight. "Later, I'll feel better. My body recovers quickly", she reasons. She spends a good deal of the day trying to relax. Reading, watching a couple of Miyazaki films, preparing a good meal. She watches the clock, then the sky. It's getting darker. Almost time.

    She goes to her bedroom, undressing, standing naked before her mirror, carefully examing. She was right - there is barely any sign of the previous night left. But through the whole day she had felt occasional dizzy spells. The remnants of a concussion? She can't be sure - and it's time to go. She dresses up in her spare costume - much the same as her previous. A dark blue wetsuit, red hot pants, black high heeled boots, and black gloves going up to her elbows. She decides to have her hair down - the luscious brown hair falling almost down to her ass. Her costume accentuates her body perfectly - her tan, toned legs on display, her tight ass looking as inviting as ever, her breasts pushed out, her flat toned tummy. She admires herself, then a brief look of shame appears on her pretty face. Ross' attempt to blackmail her for his own gratification, this gang of rapists... they're ruining her sense of sexual empowerment. Is it right to be dressing like this, when trying to clean the streets of this perverted scum? A question for another day. She flies into the night.

    She comes to the 5 block area the paper spoke of - by now, surely anyone with a little sense would avoid the place like the plague. Examining the streets as she jumps from rooftop to rooftop, she can see the area has seen better times. Streets littered with garbage, buildings boarded up. It looks like a cesspool, the type of place that breeds criminals. It begins to rain. The moon shines down over a large puddle in the dirt covered street - matching the noir mood of the night perfectly.

    A scream. The scream of a woman. Several individuals in the street hear it too, they turn and run in the opposite direction. They're afraid. Teen Girl flies up, the rain crashing into her face and the wind blowing her long hair. She can see the source of the scream, and almost feels herself retching. Down below in a back alley is the large muscular frame of a bald man, raping a poor middle aged woman. Her screaming is cut off as blood flows from her mouth - it seems like gallons of it. Her muffled scream falls down into a whimper as she dies. The man below continues having his way with the corpse.

    A flare of anger floods the veins of Teen Girl - she jumps into the hair, and hurls herself with all her strength, planting both feet into the back of this man. In her anger she is careless and forgets her strength - the force is more than enough to splatter a normal man across the floor of the alley. But this is no normal man. Upon the impact he lurches forward, grunting, but seemingly otherwise unaffected. He spins around. He is large, muscle bound, he sneers at her like a monster.
    She doesn't take the time to register that he withstood her best shot - she charges at him, yelling. He is fast and his arms long - he swats her aside like she is nothing, and she crashes into the wet garbage and filth of large trash cans. It's at this point she realizes there are more corpses. Three of them - all women. Each of them - they have large holes in their bellies, their guts spilling out into the alley.

    The freak is on her - picking her up in the air by her throat. He slams her into the wet brick, shattering the wall completely "oOOffmff", she muffles. The interior is the decreped remnants of a long abandoned apartment. She scrambles to her feet only to recieve the back of his fist - the blow draws blood from her bottom lip. Before the force of the blow sends her backwards, before she can even think to react, the same fist makes a return visit - the front of his fist, colliding with her jaw, "uUungh!" there is a sickening thud as it collides, and the sound of something in her jaw popping. Now she does fly backwards at speed - straight through a wall in the back of the apartment, and into the rain soaked street outside. She clears the rubble off herself, quickly jumping to her feet, the fear and adrenaline and instinct all taking over. She quickly leaps under a car to her left - a convertable. She pushes and strains to lift it overhead, but she does it, she waits for her assailant to show himself through the gap in the wall. Even he would have to feel the effects of a car crashing on her head. She's ready for him, but then her head - a dizzy spell, the ground is swaying beneath her, she can't keep her composure, she has to let the car down before she lets it fall ontop of herself.

    Then, CRACK!! "Yeeaaaghhh!!" A big boot straight into the centre of her slender back, sends her flying across the street and straight into the side of another car. She sits within the large indintation she has created. He walks towards her, grinning, confident. "Nobody ever gave enough of a damn about me to give me a name", he says, his voice full of evil and spite. "So I decided to earn my name. And I earned it through the fear, the predatory fear that I created in my wake - Raptor!"

    She tears a car door off as a large fist comes slamming down ontop of her but its barely enough to sheild her, the metal of the door breaking in half. She kicks at his shin, making him stumble momentarily, and she runs just out of reach of his grasp. But one handed, he hurls the entire car at her - the full weight of it crashes into her as she tries in vein to fly out of its way. "AGUHH!" She yelps, crashing to the floor below. She's on her knees only to recieve the full force of a right hand punch - a trail of blood falls out of her mouth as the momentum sends her face straight to the dirt ground.

    WHOOMPF!! His large boot crashes against the back of her skull, breaking her head against the concrete, pushing it deep inside the floor. He picks her up off the floor by her soaked long hair before delivering a wrenching blow straight into her gut - his fist sinking deep into her waist. "OOOOFGGGGUrrrNN!!" She spits out a large mouthful of blood, she can feel 2 of her ribs snap, the pain making her wide eyed. No normal girl on Earth could stay conscience with that much pain - but she is not a normal girl. He grips tightly on one of her legs and an arm, spinning her around, before hurtling her lithe body into the air. Like a ragdoll her body crashes off the concrete corner of a building. She can't regain enough control to fly - she falls 10 feet to the floor. She lies in the rubble of some kind of abandoned factory. Then, she can hear him falling from above.

    CRAAAAAAAACK!!! Both feet crash into the small of her back, the concrete floor below them shattering. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" Her scream is gutteral, she is sure that something in her back has broken. He picks her up by her hair once again, there is no mercy in his eyes when a fist collides with her small nose, shattering it.

    His fists are like gun fire - one after another, pounding her pretty face into submission, wack wack wack!!. The last sends her sprawling to the floor. She forces herself up onto her feet to her own amazement, throwing a lazy dazed punch into nothing - into thin air. She gets another hellacious blow to her stomach - "Ooompfh!!" She falls to her knees, spitting up some of her own sick. THWACCK!! He delivers a large kick to her face, sending her several feet into the air before crashing down again.

    Now she scrambles around like a shot dog, struggling to even get to her knees. He's walking towards her, slowly, toying with her. "Are you going to grovel?", he mocks. "I so want to hear you beg, before I beat you to death anyway". She picks up a handful of dirt. She struggles to talk through her broken jaw. "...mmmy ffather... used t-to...say... never giiiive UP!" she throws the dirt in his face, momentarily blinding him, before launching herself, she screams a war cry, her right fist launching for the centre of his face.

    Her fist makes contact, the hardest punch she can muster, and every bone in her hand shatters. "YAGGGGGGGGGNHAAA!" Her scream is loud. He grips her throat with his left hand. "My, my. I barely even felt that. But you have guts - I admire that. There's not many women who can muster the strength to fight back against me".

    He sends his right fist reeling into the side of her skull. He releases his grip on her, then his fists fire upon her again - his speed incredible. WOOMF! WACK!! CRACK!! With each blow he draws blood, her head flings backwards, her entire neck twisting as it attempts to follow her head. He picks her up and slams her into the dirt.

    He rips her top off from her with no effort, then her hot pants. She's lying under him with just her boots, gloves and mask. Tears flow openly, she knows what's going to happen. "..nnoooo.." it hurts to protest with her broken jaw. He kneels down, grinning. He slams a fist into her large right breast. She flings her head back, gritting her teeth through the pain. He leans over, taking the same breast, and bites. The bite draws blood. He swings a fist into her other breast. She can barely make a noise. She is breathless from the pain.

    He stands up momentarily. She winces, trying to prepare herself for what other torture he can inflict on her - but she realizes he's standing just to show her something. He removes his trousers and there between his legs is a monstrous 12 inch dick - its girth 3 inches wide. It looks like veiny arm.

    He kneels down again, positioning himself between her legs. She attempts to feebily scramble away but even her body can't withstand the beating she took - she has no energy left to escape.

    She can feel it between her legs, then she can feel the head at her pussy lips. Oh God... no... I can't die like this...

    He doesn't do anything slowly, or gently. He doesn't try to slide it in bit by bit, or to create lubricant. He simply forces himself in...like a car through a wall... like a bullet into a chest. He pounds into her like a hammer and now she can scream when only moments before she couldn't find the strength. She can scream.

    I am barefoot, walking lightly along the grass, across a hilltop...

    He breaks straight through her hymen, the large cock filling up, pushing her pussy walls outwards. The cock breaks through her cervix, and in a million years she would never in words be able to describe her pain.

    I come to a meadow with sun beams coming through the leaves of the trees. I walk behind one of the trees, like I'm hiding. But I'm not scared - it's a fun game, and I'm laughing...

    The cock is actually inside her uterus. From the outside, blood is leaking around, a circle of blood around his cock, dripping to the floor. His cock is visible inside her belly, a large inhuman looking indentation showing where it is inside her. He thrusts and bangs against her like an animal. Like a dog. The harsh rain pours over them both, soaking them to the core. Her pretty face has been bashed in, her curves and breasts are covered with large bruises, and she has never felt more ashamed.

    It begins raining lightly, a spring shower, the nightie clings to my skin, my curves and breasts are visible through the material, my long hair is wet and clings to my face and back, and I have never felt more sexy...

    With each thrust he bangs against her internal organs. As if that isn't enough, he jabs a fist into her sides, then straight into the centre of her waist... her internal body is more and more of a train wreck.

    He finds me, chasing me from behind the tree. When he catches up with me, we're both laughing, and we kiss - I drape my arms around his head, running my hands through his soft curly hair, he clings my waist, bringing me closer to him...

    She tries in vein to scratch and claw at his back, its clearly not having the slightest effect. She pounds her fists into his back, again in vein. She can hear him clearing his throat, and then he spits on her face. She whimpers pathetically in protest.

    He picks her up, standing with her, cock still inside her. He clings her body to him, raising her up and down on his cock. The blood is now lubricant, making each slide into her easier and easier. She yelps in pain with each thrust into her.

    We fall on the grass, rolling and laughing again, then I bring him in for another kiss, biting his lower lip softly. I remove his clothes and I was right - his perfectly formed athletic body lies on top of mine. He is some years older than me. A handsome older man. He takes me - we have sex. In the spring rain on the grass. He whispers gently in my ear - "I love you"...

    His disgusting face sneers at her, she looks away. The area is rotting like a corpse, the rain pools up into large dirt filled puddles, the abandoned factory looking like some giant decreped witch in the darkness. "How's it feel to have your dignity raped from you??" he yells gleefully. "How's it feel to be a broken down little whore, fucked in the dirt like a dog??"

    His cruel words couldn't come close to how she feels. She feels mentally and physically trashed. "You're my rape meat", he says. "My new favourite bitch - the only bitch in the world I can fuck without killing her". But you are killing me... she thinks meekly, her pain wracked, bleeding body would surely just give up.

    If my first time could be like that dream, I don't think I would ever feel as content...

    He throws her to the floor. He begins to cum. It squirts out in litres... gallons... covering the broken girl from head to toe. It sticks to her like glue. Her tear covered face is now covered with thick, inhuman cum. His large balls deplete. Even the hard rain isn't enough to wash off the cum, her own blood, or her shame.

    "Good fuck, cunt. Now that I've used you, you can fuck off. I've got your smell now, you see", he sniffs the air mockingly. "I'll be able to find you whenever I want." With that, he simply walks away. Laughing. Leaving her there. All she can do is cry.

    In the distance, outside the boundary of the abandoned factory, sits Mr. Ross in his car. With one hand masterbating, and another operating a video camera that had just recorded the entire rape. He had lied about his previous backup, of course. The real backup footage that proves Teen Girl's secret identity as Megan Summers lies in Ross' basement. And that is where this rape footage will also go. He smiles a sinister smile, even as Megan lies in the dirt ahead of him. Surely now, he thinks, Megan would do anything to stop this footage from getting out.

    To Be Continued
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 20, 2015
  2. kained

    kained Ryonani Teamster

    Dec 26, 2009
    Likes Received:
    So what did you guys think of this chapter? Is there anything you'd like to see more of or less of in the future? I'm thinking I might upgrade her power a little so that when she's up against supervillains like Raptor she's not getting her nose broke and that type of thing. She'd certainly feel it but its a bit much to have her face completely bloodied up - though there are some of you who like that type of thing, so I may continue with that trend - I dunno. Just trying to get a sense of what people like. Too much story? Was the intermixing of her diary with the rape a bit weird?

    Some of the stuff I'm thinking about doing in the future - I've been thinking about adventures on other planets, such as a planet with a large prison full of people with superpowers, with Megan becoming the only female inmate. It would be kind of like Story of Ricky, only with a female lead. Trailer for Story of Ricky - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZtGczQEXYY. Completely over the top, ridiculous film. I think I'll blatently rip off some scenes from it when I write the prison chapter. Another idea I have is Planet Of The Pigs. A medievil age planet filled with intelligent, walking talking pigs who capture and use Megan as their sex slave, and force her to fight in their arenas.
  3. detritus

    detritus angry angry Staff Member Administrator Moderator Ryonani Teamster

    Nov 23, 2009
    Likes Received:
    Well I voted for the human rape since that's my preference for fiction, for reasons I'm not really sure about. I also prefer the heroine doesn't end up bloody/cut open. But these are just things that I like. It's your story; you should write them as you please and I'll read them regardless, unless you're just that much of a people pleaser. :3 I don't think you can ever have too much story but the amount you have right now makes it an easy read.

    The prison planet would be interesting, although I'm more curious about the pig planet. How are medieval pig men going to keep her in check? :P
  4. Ryooo123456

    Ryooo123456 Ryonani Teamster

    Jul 25, 2010
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    some one should illustrate this into a comic, of course with kained behind every cell to make sure everything looks right

    my imagination isn't very good anymore, although i still love this, great job writing
  5. annac

    annac Potential Patron

    Jan 16, 2010
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    I've liked all your stories so far, although I must say my personal preference is less gore/blood and normal humans dishing out the ryona.

    And Story of Ricky - I lol'd hard at the bit where the vague gender guy leaps out of the ground and randomly kicks the dog dead. Hilarious film.
  6. kained

    kained Ryonani Teamster

    Dec 26, 2009
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    How are they going to keep her in check? Whips and chains aplenty I think.

    Sometimes I'm in 2 minds about whether to have her bloodied and cut open. I'm not a fan of guro stuff, I don't like guts spilling everywhere, at the same time I like to see the girl roughed up. I like seeing that she's been through a rough time. I think I'll balance out future chapters by having her scratched and cut up but not outright cut open.

    I still want the rape to be pretty brutal, so expect more of that in future stories.

    I try to be a people pleaser while remaining within certain boundaries.