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The dancer's ruin

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by Raden, Dec 14, 2011.

  1. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Ahhh.. I feel so at peace under the stars. Like all my troubles can't reach me up here. Sometimes... sometimes I think the black night sky could swallow me. The stars are always so beautiful.

    Christie stretched out on the roof of the tournament compound, the beach chair accommodating the curves of her body snugly. Relaxing under the night sky was always a great way to unwind. Before long, she had fallen asleep in the summer warmth.

    However, she was being watched by someone in the shadows, wielding a lead pipe. Making their way into the light of the half moon, Lili crept up silently to where Christie was sleeping. Raising the pipe over her head, she brought it crashing down forcefully into Christie's bare right knee. The joint popped. Christie was awake instantly, screaming in pain. She grabbed for her knee and tried to feebly swing at Lili, to no avail. Christie moaned in pain, clutching her knee. Lili kicked her in the back. "Oof", Christie grunted. "What the hell is happening? What did I do to you?"

    "Nothing yet, I just wanted to make sure our fight tomorrow would go my way... and I saw no point hiring a thug to do this when it would be so much more fun to watch you suffer myself. There are some things I'd really just rather get my hands dirty with myself..."

    Christie tried to stand. Lili met her with a straight kick to the knee that sent her back down face-first. Another yelp of pain. "Having a rough time, are we?" she taunted. Christie blinked away tears of pain. Lili hit her with the pipe again. Another scream emanated from Christie, who started to see spots due to the intense pain. She was laying on the ground holding her knee in agony. The kneecap had been cracked, and part of it had shifted slightly, creating a visible lump in her knee where the bone was.

    Lili aimed the next shot at the back of her leg, intending to bruise up her calf muscles. Even Christie's strong legs couldn't withstand too many of these. Lili swung the pipe again and again as if she were trying to drive a railroad spike with a hammer. As she had hoped, Christie's calf started to turn all manner of blue and purple. Then her calf muscle tightened in a charlie horse*. Christie screamed again, trying to massage the muscle in an attempt to get it to stop its angry spasming. She bit her lip trying to block it out. Finally after what felt like an eternity the spasming stopped, and Christie's body relaxed. But Lili wasn't done yet. She took hold of Christie's leg. Christie tried to kick at her with her good leg. Lili was content to brush them off until one caught her in the nose. She recoiled for a moment, but Christie was as good as crippled and couldn't escape or follow it up. So she could do nothing about Lili's retaliation, which was swift. Lili took the pipe, and jammed it into Christie's stomach like a barbarian plunging a sword into his fallen victim. Even Christie's hard stomach couldn't take that impact, and she wheezed, all the air being driven out of her. Christie rolled onto her side, holding her stomach, curled into a ball. Lili rolled her back, and stomped hard on her stomach again. Again a wheeze, and then coughing and sputtering. Christie went momentarily limp and lay flat on her back. Lili used this opportunity to jump on Christie and stomp her with both feet, one foot planted squarely in her stomach, the other in her chest. Christie gagged and then coughed up blood.

    Christie lay flat on her back. Lili checked to see if she were still conscious. Incredibly she was, eyes half open. Lili rolled Christie so she was facedown, with no resistance. Then she took hold of Christie's injured leg, hooked her knee around the pipe, and used the pipe for added pressure and leverage, bending Christie's leg back hard in a single leg boston crab. Christie screamed out. "Come on Christie, flex for me! I wanna see how flexible you Capoeira dancers are!" She leaned back hard, pulling Christie's leg and arching her back so that her foot was almost touching her head. Pain exploded like hand grenades in her leg. Christie bit her knuckle, her fingers, her lip, anything to try to keep from thinking about the weapons grade pain in her leg. Her brain couldn't take it anymore and she passed out in the hold. Lili realized she wasn't awake anymore, and let her go. Christie slumped to the ground unconscious, her leg a horrible mix of lurid blue and purple.

    "Tee hee. Oops. I went too far. I guess now you won't be making the fight tomorrow." Lili threw the pipe off the side of the building with all her might, sending it into the nearby beach. With any luck, the tide would take it out and she would have no evidence of the attack, and it would be only Christie's word versus hers. For good measure, she landed another stomp to Christie's back to make sure she wasn't faking. The stomp got no reaction. She was definitely out.

    "You want to sleep under the stars? You're sleeping under the stars now."

    _______

    In case you're curious, she will make a full recovery. It's just really bad bruising and a cracked kneecap, not a full-on broken or shattered one. She isn't permanently crippled.

    * (believe me, these hurt like fuck. Your calf muscle gets hard like concrete and the pain is excruciating. Fortunately it only lasts a minute, but it's the longest minute ever. After it stops spasming it remains hard as rock for a while, and it usually hurts for the next couple days as it loosens up again. When these happen to me (rarely) they happen in the mornings when I'm waking up. Suffice it to say, she's hurting bad here.)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 16, 2012
  2. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Christie opened her eyes. The first thing she noticed was the bright light. The sun had come out.

    Sun doesn't get into my room through those curtains and I know they're closed at night, she thought. Then she realized she was still on top of the roof.The third thing she realized was that she was damp. Evidently it had rained overnight.

    The fourth thing she realized was the agonizing pain that shot through her leg when she tried to move it. "Aaaaaggh oh GOD, oh God..." she moaned. She inspected her leg and was horrified by what she saw. Her knee was bulging. Her whole right calf was a mottled blue, purple and green. She got to her feet, her weight on her left leg, and attempted to take a step to test it. She could at least hobble, slowly. Gritting her teeth, she made her way down the stairs back into the compound. She had almost got back to her room unseen and was feet from her door when Julia came by. "Hey Christie, how are- Oh my God, what happened??" Christie made "shush" motions and motioned for her to come in. Closing the door behind them, Julia started in again. "Are you alright? That looks bad, what happened? Who did this?"

    "It was Lili, she attacked me with a pipe yesterday while I was sleeping up on the roof. I must have dozed off under the stars. I think it looks worse than it is, the shin bone isn't broken. My knee is messed up a bit and the bruising is pretty nasty looking. I can't put much weight on it, but I can get by for my fight today."

    "You think you're going to fight with a bad wheel? Especially that bad?"

    "No, I know I am. Win or lose, I'm not forfeiting to her. If she thinks she's going to get a cheap forfeit default victory, she's wrong."

    "You're going to get hurt. Worse."

    "I have to take that risk. Besides, like I said it just looks bad."

    "Can I just check something?" Julia asked. "It might hurt."

    "It can't hurt more than it does now. Go ahead."

    Julia removed her tribal necklace and took a small sharp piece off of it carefully. "Okay, I see there's a fluid buildup in your knee. Basically, I'm going to stab this into your knee and squeeze, and drain it. It will hurt bad, but it should feel much better after that."

    Christie nodded. "Alright, I'm ready."

    Julia propped Christie's leg up on her lap, and then speared her knee with the small spike. Christie winced and clenched her teeth, but tried not to make any sound. She didn't want to appear weak to her friend. Julia then squeezed the lump on either side with her hands, and a blast of pus and dark red blood shot across the room. Christie flinched and grunted. "You took that pretty damn well," Julia told her. "I'm pretty sure I can re-set that bone for you too. Want me to try?" "Might as well, got nothing to lose at this point." Julia took hold of the knee. "This will hurt," she warned. Christie braced herself. Julia placed her palm on the raised bump, and then gave a sudden push. There was a click sound as the kneecap fit back together. Christie yelled out. "Sorry my friend, sorry! How do you feel?"

    Christie tested her knee. She could move it again. "I can move it again! Thanks so much for your help. I can at least get through my fight today, then I will get it looked at by the medics on hand." Julia shook her head. "I still don't know how you plan on fighting on that leg of yours." Christie told her "Well, Lili thinks I am an injured animal. She will have her guard down. I do still have one good leg, and remember, they're a Capoeirista's legs. Mine may be as strong as yours."

    Julia smiled. "Hmm. Is that a challenge? Maybe we ought to find out one day."

    Christie smiled back. "I already know you kick like a horse, I've seen you in action. Now watch what I do today."

    Something you'll need to know for later

    Step 1: Put your hands together like you're praying.

    2: Turn your hands so your fingers are pointing in front of you.

    3: Take one hand (either one) and rotate it so the fingers are pointing back to you.

    4: Clasp your fingers together (don't interlace them, just curl your hands and make like you're hooking them together.)

    I call this an over-under palm grip. You can get a super strong hold on your hands this way. You can also easily do the grip without the steps, it's just easier to explain how to do it the first time. You'll need to know what this is in the third block of the story.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2011
  3. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    oh.. Lili on a rampage... this all linked to the other story with the Princess Beat down =P
    sad to see Christy lose to a bimbo like Lili, but honestly, Christy's all about the looks and not the smacks =P Eddy's the only true capoeira master here.

    btw's, you make it sound like you've been put into a Boston Crab yourself... older siblings?
     
  4. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Nope, just one younger one, I've just a wrestling fan since 1993. You tend to be able to put 2 and 2 together. :p

    And actually this was intended to be a separate story from the others, it's just Lili makes both such a great attacker and victim. She's so smug and arrogant dishing it out, but when it comes time for her to take it, her bravado books a vacation. :)

    If it makes you feel any better, Christie was attacked while she was sleeping and with a pipe, so... she didn't really have much of a chance to make it a fair fight. Will she do any better in a while?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 14, 2011
  5. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    "Five minutes, Christie! Are you ready?"

    Christie looked up. "Hey Julia. Yeah, I'm ready, as ready as I'm going to be in this condition."

    "You decided to wear your pants costume I see... can't imagine why."

    "Yeah, well, not everyone needs to know I'm a target."

    "You ready to go? Lili's being introduced. She looks pretty smug."

    "I can't wait to destroy that smug look when I go out there..."

    _______

    "Introducing at this time... Lili Rochefort!"

    Lili stood mid-arena waving to the crowd as if she were royalty. Truly a stuck-up prissy bitch, thought Julia. I hope Christie whips that little tramp good.

    "And introducing next... Christie Monteiro!"

    Lili smirked. "Hah! She won't be here. Just disqualify her and award me the fight!"

    Lil's eyes suddenly went wide and her jaw hit the floor when she saw Christie limping. She exploded with rage. "WHAT?? HOW DARE... I TOOK... YOU.. WHAT??"

    Christie grinned at her. "Not as easy as you'd hoped it was going to be, is it? The problem, you see, is that you left me one."

    "FIGHT!"

    This story has two endings. I couldn't decide which one to write, so I wrote them both.

    Lili and Christie faced each other. "You bitch, you're not supposed to be here! You're supposed to be laid up in a hospital or your leg was supposed to have fallen off or something! How the hell did you get here?"

    "The rugged determination to see you get what you deserve!" Christie swung a punch which missed. She wasn't able to correct her balance like she would have otherwise, and Lili seized the opportunity to lay a straight kick in to her injured knee. "Aurgh!" Christie yelped, and went down clutching her knee. Fresh pain danced through her leg. "Little known fact, Christie... I've got a snake... and she wants to meet you." Lili spread her arms waiting for Christie to try to get back to her feet, staying behind her. Christie managed to get up, but Lili pounced and locked Christie up in a cobra clutch choke hold. Christie gagged and tried to fight her off, but Lili pushed on the back of her injured leg with her foot, bringing Christie to her knees, and leveraging the choke more. Then she flexed her ropey arm muscles and began to shake Christie from side to side like she were a rag doll. Christie gagged and spit. Everything went out of focus, then went dark. All Christie could do was very weakly tap out a submission, then she went limp. Lili held Christie aloft in the choke hold for a few seconds, then dropped her. Christie collapsed in a heap. "I win! I'm the greatest fighter ever!" Lili declared. She stood overtop of Christie's body. "Don't you mess with me! You can't beat me, you understand? You can't beat me!" the last sentence was punctuated with finger pointing. Lili strode off cockily.

    Lili laughed at Christie. "Hah! And just what do you think you're going to be able to accomplish with a bad leg? I'll tell you what; Nothing! I'm going to go over there, get in your face, knock you down, and pound you into a wreck. In fact, watch me do it! There's not a damn thing you can do to stop me, limpy!" Lili jauntily walked up to Christie. Suddenly her eyes got wide, as she registered what was happening, a little bit too late. Christie pushed off her good leg and jumped, then threw a one-legged dropkick. The kick caught Lili straight in the jaw. Her head snapped back and then forward, whiplashing her as if she were in a car accident. Lili's eyes immediately glazed over and she fell onto her back, eyes half open, moaning and dazed. Had she been prepared she may have been able to take it or at least lessen the whiplash effect, but Christie caught her completely off guard. Christie landed, taking care not to land on her bruised up leg. She scrambled over to Lili who was attempting to recover. Christie swung her bad leg over Lili and balanced on her good knee, kneeling over her. Christie began to lay in punches anywhere she could hit Lili. Lili began to beg off. "Ow! Oof! I'm sorry, Christie, I'm sorry! Please, no! Stop!"

    "What's that? No stop? You don't want me to stop? Okay then!" she swung a few more.

    "Stop, stop!"

    Christie let her go. "Alright, crawl away from me then."

    Lili blinked. "You're going to let me go?"

    "All you have to do is crawl out of here like the little bitch you are."

    Lili began to crawl away, but Christie had other things in mind. "Actually I was just hoping you'd get yourself into a facedown position, so that I didn't have to try to do it on one leg. But now that you have..." Christie pounced on her. She trapped Lili's right arm with her good left leg. She couldn't use her right leg to finish the hold, so she had to draw her knee up and use her thigh. It wasn't the tightest hold, but it had to do. She clamped down on Lili's chin with an over-under palm grip, trapping her in a nasty cross-face neck crank submission hold. "Now, Lili, what was it you said to me yesterday? I want to see how far you can bend? Flex for me, Lili!" And she pulled back on Lili's jaw. Lili began to squeal in pain. "Aaaaahhhh-haaaa-haaaa-haaaoooouch!!" she screamed out. "My neck! Oh God, the whiplash... ow, OW... AUGH! Let me go!"

    "No deal" said Christie, and she reared back harder. She heard a wet pop. "Ooh, pop goes the vertebrae!" she sang out. Lili was screaming. She tried to pry Christie's hands apart, but she couldn't hope to break that vise-like clamp on her chin. Tears started to stream down Lili's face. "I submit, I submit!" she tapped out a submission frantically. "You're going to break my neck, let me go!"

    Christie gave one more wrench in the hold, drawing another shriek from Lili, before she let the hold go. Lili clutched at her neck. "Oh God... oh God" she moaned.

    "Don't forget the whiplash effect, Lili. I guess we'll see which one of us is walking tomorrow, won't we?" Christie smirked at her as she made her way to her feet, slowly. As she hobbled away, she turned back to look at Lili. The medics had come out to check on her, and they were attaching a neck brace to her. Christie beamed and left Lili to her hospital trip.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2011
  6. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    As much as i love seeing Christie in pain, I def preferred the second one! Lili's much more of a screamer =P

    btw's.. considering how big of a wrestling fan as you seem to be, how come you aren't using the actual wrestlers (King, A.King, Marduk, or Julia) as the actual aggressor?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2011
  7. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    I couldn't tell you, to be honest. Lili's just so hate-able, she makes a great antagonist, and then she makes a great victim when she does get what she has coming to her.

    Besides, the only person of the ones you listed I could really see as an aggressor is Marduk. I'd have to stretch to have (armor) King or Julia go out of their way to attack someone.
     
  8. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    I agree with ya about Lili... but both Nina and Anna make great antagonist too... either of the kings would stand up to avenge Julia against those two.
    and sometimes, ya need to have an innocent victim, ya know.. just beat the hell out of them for an honest fight

    er.. i mean it is a fighting tournament
     
  9. sanji

    sanji Potential Patron

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    I would have prefered the first one to go much longer. Cristie is much more sexier and so make a better victim. Also she has that kind of gentle profil which is better : heroine makes better victims than villan.
     
  10. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    hmm. I'll see about writing another longer one. I'll try to think of some stuff at work today.
     
  11. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Sorry, I got nothing. I'm thinking of a different story now.

    edit: I'll see about coming back to this one later if anyone is really interested. I'm not sure why people read and don't comment on this section. My first foray into stories here was met with e-crickets (almost 200 views and 0 replies... so SOMEONE is reading them...)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2011
  12. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    don't let the non-responding thing get ya down dude.... as someone who TRIES to respond to everything, I sometimes find the lack of motivation to actually RESPOND after reading... I always end up getting in those phases where I find the need and compulsion to respond, and then go thru phases where I just don't have the time to respond to one, and then fall behind (you can imagine how this kind of disorder can pile of "late work" in an academic environment =P )
     
  13. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    I know, I mean there ARE lots of views, so it's not like people aren't READING, which is ultimately what I want: People to read and enjoy my stories. It's just a comment here and there may be nice too is all. lol.
     
  14. Bagel

    Bagel Potential Patron

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    Ouch, I've had a few knee injuries in the past so I could literally feel her pain. Lili's pompous, elitist attitude pegs her for an awesome and appropriate heel, feeding her ego even greater when she actually wins. Really liked the use of multiple endings, so fans of both sides can see their favorite girl get wrecked, pleasing everyone :)

    I'd like to think the first ending was canon, just because it gives the other ladies even more of an incentive for their inevitable payback, and seeing Lili win is always a treat.
     
  15. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Wow, people do read my older stuff. Hell, I wasn't sure about the newer stuff. ;)

    I messed up my right knee somehow at work years ago. I landed on something just under the kneecap (I think it was on the tendon.) It hurt like fire to the touch for eight months afterward. These days I am fine, with the only thing being I cannot kneel on it too long without it starting to hurt, and if I keep kneeling, it starts to grow in intensity. Other than that though, it's fine, so I thought writing about a leg injury would be something I could relate to. I think that's part of why it came off as well as I had hoped.
     
  16. swartzwald

    swartzwald Potential Patron

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    Ok, both of the endings are gone. Could you repost them in the regular way so people can read them?
     
  17. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    They are spoiler blocks. On the right side of the screen, there is a "Show" button. If you click that, it will reveal the block. They're still here for me. :)