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The Cowgirl

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by galvatron88, Mar 19, 2014.

  1. galvatron88

    galvatron88 Avid Affiliate

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    Its the old west,1847. Two gun fighters: a young sexy cowgirl and a tall thin outlaw are squared off in a duel. The outlaw was a man named Sharpe, A famous gunslinger who killed anyone who got in his way. He is tall, thin dressed in all black and his eyes looked thin slits cut in to his face. He had a very rough and cold exterior, He was covered in dust but his gun gleamed in the sun.

    His opponent: The young Hillary Johnson wanted revenge for sharpe killing her father and raping her mother. The five foot three girl stood a few feet away from the man with a hard vengeful look on her face.

    She is a small framed girl being on the petite side. She donned a tight pink vest that gave her a midriff, tight jeans that showed off her round hips and small but round booty. She has long red hair, rather pale looking skin and looked a little like Bella from twilight if she was hot.

    Her breasts were a little more then average size giving her a little cleavage. The tin star she had hanging off of her right breast is crooked in a rather undignified manner. Her visible belly is soft having a deep navel and a little pudgy. evidence that she likes to indulge in the finer things.

    Her gun looks bigger then her. clingy firmly to her rather round curvy hip.

    Their hands float near their guns, both gunfighters still and motionless. The sun beams down hot as fire outside. the street is cleared of people for all of them are in their windows looking on.

    Hillary says. " This is for my parents." She then goes for her gun but the minute she put her dainty delicate hand on her gun Sharpe has his out already. In one quick and fluid motion, Sharpe has shot Hillary in the forehead so fast she hadnt realize she was shot. The bullet went threw her forehead cutting a swath through her brain and exits out the back making her hat fly off. Her head head snaps back and fourth doing a bobbing motion. Her cute little lips went from tightly sealed to loose and quivering as spit and blood flies out of her mouth. and her breasts and belly made a slight jiggling motion as shes thrown back.

    Not realizing shes already dead, Poor Hillary eyes have a glazed look as she takes two steps forward. she fires her gun at the ground. then she drops it and the gun goes off again hitting a hanging bell ricocheting and hitting her in the side of the head and exiting the other side. this finally made her eyes cross and fall to her knees, then falling back on her butt then fall over on her side.

    Shape walks over and kicks her on her back. Hillary just lies there with a dim witted expression on her face.
     
  2. Baku|Haku

    Baku|Haku Avid Affiliate

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    The built up is good as in any western needs to be, However this suffers from the same defects of those movies.
    The tension is built to see who is going to get shot. Since we are a ryona forum we know that the girl is going down.
    Also~
    She need to be beaten up just a little more. Since one bullet ruins the fun for me since there is not struggle~
     
  3. galvatron88

    galvatron88 Avid Affiliate

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    I got ya, i knew this wouldnt be a good story but it was something i had to get down. But i will get better. Thanks