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Some amateur vanilla dialogue edits, primarily Dangranronpa stuff.

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by E.C.H, Nov 27, 2016.

  1. E.C.H

    E.C.H Potential Patron

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    Heya, been a player of SDT for a while now, and as such usually play with a lot of mods, and of course, dialogues. However, occasionally I get into really craving for an extremely specific dialogue topic(as you can probably tell, this is usually Dangan Ronpa stuff) and since I have neither the talent or patience to just create one of my own, I find a dialogue I've downloaded which roughly fits, and edit/rewrite bits to match whatever I feel like. Well, today I pretty much figured that I may as well put them up here. Credit and links to their respective threads will be given to the original dialogues, so please don't sue me, original writers (if you really aren't OK with me editing your dialogue for whatever reason, just let me know and I'll take it down). Apologies if they're a bit crap/overly DR-reliant, and apologies to the guy that checks the dialogue coding if I messed up an integral line, these were all done on whims.

    Overview:
    • Original Dialogue-'Yang' by Jacob Zero-
    • Suggested character -
      charName:Chiaki;mood:Ahegao;bodyScale:0.98125;arms:onlegs,onlegs;throatResist:34;hair:sdchan,1,1;iris:bright,255,82,242,0.565;breasts:111;skin:pale;nose:normal;ear:normal;lipstick:1,197,64,109,1;eyeshadow:255,0,109,1;sclera:255,255,255,1;blush:255,48,109,0.267;freckles:0,0,0,1,0;mascara:255,48,109,1,100;nailpolish:197,64,109,1;eyebrow:normal,217,197,193,1,0,0,0,1;hairhsl:0,1,1,1;skinhsl:0,1,1,1;hisskinhsl:0,1,1.18,1;bg:3;hisBody:male;hisPenis:0,1.05475,1.3846794658829544;balls:1,1.4445000000000001;hisSkin:0;hisTop:none,238,242,245,1;hisBottoms:none,0,0,0,1;hisFootwear:none,0,0,0,1;collar:none,255,167,188,1,232,240,255,1;cuffs:none,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1;gag:none,0,0,0,1;panties:sidetie,209,211,209,1;top:bikini,201,202,204,1;armwear:none,0,0,0,1;legwear:none,37,42,43,1,0,42,43,1;footwear:none,233,197,208,1,0,0,0,1;eyewear:none,0,0,0,1;headwear:none,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1;tonguePiercing:none,255,255,255,1;herTan:none,0
    • Brief - An Alternate Universe where it turns out Chihiro/Alter Ego released a lot of sexual tension by coding Chiaki to be the ideal gamer girl slut every programmer with social issues dreams of (well, in his mind), and *Preferred DR2 character* reaps the benefits of this when Chiaki offers them a beach date. Recommend a beach background.
    • Original Dialogue - 'Accept it' by Shybear
    • Brief - In the immediate aftermath of the Tragedy of HPA leaking to the media, one bitter and extremely resentful exploited reserver is loitering on campus when he spots an Ultimate (your choice, preferably one that's easier to break) heading past. Spotting his chance, he kidnaps them to a warehouse out of the city (don't ask how) and waits for them to wake so he can unleash his anger at the school on them...
    • Original Dialogue - 'Daughter Punishment' by Rubix
    • Suggested Character - IMO Dantes Chiaki model fits best, but honestly any character works.
    • Brief - *Your preferred Ultimate* fell asleep during an exam, and their professor, disillusioned with Hope's Peak and the number of talent-elitist students who come out of it, has incorrectly assumed this is because the Ultimate in question was cheating the exam in some way and thus doesn't give a damn, and decides to make sure they never do it again. Or is this just an excuse? Note - Lots of all-caps SHOUTING in this one.

    • Original Dialogue - 'Interrogator' by Rubix
      • Same as above
    • Started as a Kyoko dialogue, but fit better as a non-Danganronpa all-purpose dialogue. A locally well-known detective has fallen into massive debt, and thus can't afford to pay her scummy informant for the information she needs to solve her case and get out of debt, and so she decides to offer him a blowjob. However, she too prideful to admit her failures, and thus pretends she's doing this purely optionally. As the dialogue proceeds, she becomes increasingly depressed and obedient, while the scumbag informant becomes more threatening and dominant.
    Hope these are somewhat decent.
     

    Attached Files:

    Last edited: Nov 27, 2016
  2. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Haha. It's good that you're doing this sort of thing. But yeah, these dialogues do need a clean up. You can use the checker for it (link in signature), but I'll try to summarize the issues in a way you'll know what to look for:

    Code:
    Syntax - Major: Excess characters ( ) between linename and line content on line 1. This indicates a syntax error.
    Excess characters between the linename and line content means the line will be ignored by SDT.
    Line 1: dialogue_name: "Hope's Peak Punishment"
    
    As this error says, any line where you have a space between the line name ("dialogue_name:") and the content ("Hope's Peak Punishment"), well, that line won't load. You'll want to fix those instances, or your hard work on those lines will be for nothing.

    Code:
    Syntax - Major: Double trigger opener on line 13, col 31 near "introa6:"No...sorry[CLOSE_EYES][[introa7]""
    Line 13: introa6:"No...sorry[CLOSE_EYES][[introa7]"
    
    You can find these pretty easy - just CTRL+F "[[" and "]]". They're not bad, it's just that the extra [ or ] will show up in the text.

    Code:
    Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([add_tear]) on line 21 refers to a non-existing line.
    Line 21: introb2:"Sir, please stop calling me that[add_tear][introb3]"
    
    That's not a "non-existing line" that this trigger is referring to; that's a trigger that needs to be capitalized. Triggers that are faulty like this result in 2 things: the next line to be played is set to the content of the trigger, and the trigger won't play. So you won't see the effects (a minor annoyance), but if there was a next line set already, then that'll break. Luckily you write like [trigger][line], so this will only make the trigger do nothing... which is not so bad.

    Code:
    Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([ADD_TEAR]) on line 28 refers to a non-existing line.
    Line 28: introb9:"Oh god, he really is going to do this [ARMS_BACK] %0A [LOOK_UP] He's going to force himself on me[ADD_TEAR][introb10]"{"style":"thought"}
    
    Oh. Hmm. Seems it is "ADD_TEARS". You need to add an S.

    Code:
    Line Usage - Major: A trigger ([MOOD_ANGRY]) on line 102 refers to a non-existing line.
    Line 102: vigorous:"[ARMS_HIS_LEGS][MOOD_ANGRY] I can't take this anymore [TAP_HANDS][donttouch]"{"style":"thought"}
    
    You're looking for ANGRY_MOOD.

    Code:
    Variables - Major: Undeclared variable ("me") in a variable insertion (*me*) on line 132, col 31, near "(...) *me*, (...)".
    Line 132: cum_on_face:"Look at yourself, *me*, is this what you want to be? %0A A cheating slut? Having your' mouth abused daily until some [look_up]teacher or boss glazes your' pretty little face with cum, spits on you, murmurs whatever you want and leaves you?[pretty]"
    
    Also needs capitalization. So *ME*.

    Code:
    Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (style":"Thought"}") after line attributes on line 42. This indicates a syntax error.
    Line 42: held:"Whoa, I can feel my thoughts melting away, my head filling with air, my heart thumping like crazy... I haven't felt like this since Master Alter Ego went through a choking phase...{"style":"Thought"}"
    
    Misplaced double quote, it needs to go after the content (the text being said), but before the line attributes (the whole {style} thing)

    Code:
    Line 77: cum_in_mouth:"[ANGRY_MOOD]God, It's terrible![ADD_TEARS] Don't spit it out in his face, DON'T SPIT IT OUT IN HIS FACE..."
    Line 78: {"style":"Thought"}
    
    Syntax - Major: The linename of line 78 ({"style") contains double quotes. Did you accidentally misplace or forget the colon?
    Line 78: {"style":"Thought"}
    
    Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (}) after line attributes on line 78. This indicates a syntax error.
    Line 78: {"style":"Thought"}
    
    Line Usage - Major: Line 78 is unused!
    Line 78: {"style":"Thought"}
    
    Wow, a new thing I hadn't thought of before! I'm probably going to add this to my list of checks. You've inadvertently added a new line between the line content and the attributes, so the attributes won't apply. The checker already indirectly warns for it because it can't understand the format properly as a line, so you can still spot and fix them.

    I recommend you turn off the "Check Grammar" check, since it tends to be more about minor things like double spaces and what not.

    I also recommend that if you don't feel like fixing everything, then just fix the triggers (capitalization and [[ ]] and ADD_TEAR -> ADD_TEARS) and the spaces between linename and content. That'll fix most of the problems.

    You could leave the DR student punishment as last dialogue to clean because that one has the most issues. The other three each have like 10 issues which should be easy to resolve, whereas the student punishment one has like 100 issues to deal with.

    Let me know if you need any help fixing this.

    ---
    You could add a link if that's easy to do?
     
    E.C.H and tmb like this.
  3. E.C.H

    E.C.H Potential Patron

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    Cheers, downloaded the fixer and hopefully solved all the major issues. No idea what happened to my sense of capitalization with the 'Punishment' dialogue, I'm kind of hoping that it was just always like that, and I just didn't correct it when editing. Link to Deadreavers thread (which I should add to anybody reading, has a bunch of high quality DR imports) added also.
     
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