So you want to be a zako?

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Do you? Do you REALLY? Because you shouldn't. Zakos die. Early and often.

But zakos don't know they're zakos, do they? They think they're the protagonists of their own lives. They have their own ambitions, hopes and dreams. Maybe this weird job where they stand around in a bikini and carry a submachine gun and walk around some kind of... facility (what do they even do here, anyway?) is just a stepping stone on their personal journey. Maybe they're taking this bizarre career as far as it goes. Nothing ever happens here. Okay, well, it does, but what are the chances it will happen to them?

(Turns out those chances are pretty high.)

But not you, right? You're no chump, no mook. No small fry. You're a Gundam, not a Zaku. You're no stormtrooper. You're Darth Fucking Vader. You're no redshirt, you're Captain James Tiberius Kirk, because even he had to start somewhere, right? That's you. You're gonna be a big deal someday. Even though you're Level 1, have average abilities, shitty training, and had to supply your own equipment!

(No, you're not. You're fucking nobody and you're going to die face-down in a pile of other, similarly good-looking corpses.)

So what's this thread?

It's part RP, and part lottery. Create a zako character. Emphasis on zako. They've been recruited into some stupid supervillain's private army. Give them as much or as little background as you want, but make sure to provide the vital information like name, age, gender, and physical appearance. Next, tell me if you prefer the end of your zako's career (heaven forbid!) to be fatal or non-fatal. Your zako will then be sent out on missions with the rest of their unit, and will periodically have to help defend the base from enemy attacks. Success and survival will be purely random. I promise not to play favorites here. Zakos who survive long enough and gain enough experience will improve in skill, and those zako will be less likely to be retired (and more likely to succeed at their mission objectives), but turnover will be very high.

After all, you're a fucking zako!

How it Works

The basis of this game is the Unit. It's probably the size of a fireteam, squad, or platoon, depending on how many zakos we get. As soon as the Unit is formed, the Unit will be dispatched on missions, which will either succeed or fail. Even if the mission is a failure, some of the zakos may still survive. However, even if the mission is a success, there still may be a lot of casualties! I'll "run" a mission every day or so, and post about it, and about who got injured (and how), who got killed (and how), and who leveled-up (if anyone). If anybody did any dope shit, I'll write about it. Once a week, the heroes will retaliate and attack your base. If you fail that mission, everyone dies (think of a Bond villain's self-destructing lair) and we all get to form a brand new unit. Possibly with a different theme, and maybe in a different setting!

My zako died!

Hot? Wait, I mean, how sad! Good thing you get to make a new one! Turns out there's no shortage of young adults with a crippling amount of student loan debt!

MY zako is special for [reasons]!

I feel you. At some point I'll have a good scheme for specializations and unique abilities, but for now, your zako is restricted to the following traits:

Basic small arms proficiency (sort of).

Supermodel levels of attractiveness.

Dying zako do nothing for me. Can mine just get knocked out or captured or something?

Yes! There's already a possibility that your zako will, in the face of overwhelming opposition, say "fuck this" and either desert during battle or surrender to the enemy. Some heroes use only non-lethal takedowns, and your zako might end a mission by getting knocked out or captured. All you have to do is tell me that you like things to be non-lethal, and those things will become the "worst case scenario" for your zako. They can get removed from the game like anyone else, the only difference is it will be a desertion, defection, or capture that does it.

Is there any way to uh, you know... win?

Sort of! Units and orgs can be retired under favorable conditions (they accomplish their top-level objectives or are disbanded when their patrons no longer have any use for them) and individual zako may survive the end of the organization they worked for (even if that org was destroyed in like a series-ending event). I'll come up with "prizes" in the event of that. Or you tell me what kind of perks would be interesting.

More generally, if your zako survives the whole "campaign" (this is not as involved as like, a real RPG so relax), you can roll them over into the next one if you wish, or start a new one of the same level. Also, if you have a leveled-up zako who gets, uh, retired, your next zako can start as half their level (rounded down).

When can I start?

I'll post about the first unit shortly. As soon as the first unit has been retired, I'll take suggestions on the theme and setting of future units. So if you have an idea, I'd love to hear it!
 
Last edited:

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
:3 (Pronounced "Colon Three")

Setting: Quasi-modern (Mercenaries, Spies, and Private Eyes)

Type: International Crime and Terrorist Organization (For Profit)

The origins of :3 are shrouded in mystery, as are the identities of its senior leadership. Most of the people who know things professionally believe that :3 is a shell or front organization for an as-yet unidentified state actor or transnational corporation. Presumably, this actor employs :3, which is known for "blowing shit up and looting everything that isn't nailed down or on fire" as a deniable proxy for the purposes of looting, sabotage, or both.

The other thing :3 is known for are its stupid uniforms. The most common variant is a pink string bikini with fishnet stockings, knee-high boots, and signature fake cat ears + tail. Some members are known to wear eye masks, while others don't seem to care if their identities are known.
 

trigger

Potential Patron
Joined
Jul 10, 2018
Rachel reporting for zako duty!

Name: Rachel (of course)
Age: 21
Physical appearance: Blonde, asymmetrical hair, green eyes, breast size A, no tattoos.
Story: Rachel is a high school dropout who has been doing odd jobs here and there for the past four years. She has almost no skills or abilities apart from dashing looks and a slender body. She's a bit self-conscious about having rather small breasts and she hopes she'll get a push-up bra as a uniform. She has a bubbly personality and likes a good laugh. When she saw the recruitment poster she didn't think twice (which is kinda typical for her) and signed up. She wears a mask because she hopes that after saving some money from :3 she might start a bright career as an actress.

 

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Welcome, Rachel! A bright (and probably very short) career awaits you. Please tell me if you would prefer her retirement to be lethal or non-lethal (if you care).

What are the uniforms of the boys?
More or less the same, although the bottoms are a little roomier of course, and I don't think they wear the bikini top (easy to get if they want one though, I suppose). The two main (male) variants for top are "none" and fish net, although there's also this short, open vest/jacket thing with a faux fur-topped collar that also the girls will wear sometimes (with or without anything underneath).

Also: I edited the OP with some additional information: tl;dr: the game now accommodates peeps whomst like it to be non-lethal. There was already a capture/surrender/desertion mechanic but that can become your worst case scenario if you like your zako to get back up.
 

Kendall

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
Name: Sophia
Age: 18
Physical Appearance: tall, slender figure with massive ass and tits the size of Power Girls. Blonde with butt length Ponytail. if allowed wears only high heel boots and nothing else. otherwise wears bikini bottom like a thong and no bra.

Story: read comic books as a kid and was always fascinated with the dedication of the Henchgirls she saw get beat up and killed in the stories. inspired by this she decided she would like to try it, and signed up to be a henchgirl, hoping to become the boss's favorite because of her massive good looks.

Lethal or Non-lethal: Lethal, and preferably fucked before or after death.
 

Danial Zako

Potential Patron
Joined
Jan 2, 2017
Name: Tom
Age: 19
Physical appearance: Brown hair, blue eyes, lean body.
Story: Tom is a high school dropout who trying to join the local professional volleyball team with no luck. He has a basic athletic ability, eager to learn but does not have the proper stamina. He saw the recruitment ad that promised plenty of physical activities that he thought will help him get stronger (Along with wealth and respect). He is a virgin and quite shy next to girls.

Lethal or non-lethal.
 

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
9/28/18, Bank Heist

Target: La Croix Community Credit Union (Northwest Location)
Objective: Self-Explanatory
Force: 10x Zakos in 2x Vans + 2x Getaway Drivers
Difficulty: Level 1

Result: Critical Failure (Ambush)

Force: 10x :3 Zakos

1: Rachel (21, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (0/10 XP)
2: Sophia (18, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (0/10 XP)
3: Tom (19, M): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (0/10 XP)
4: Anon :3 Zakos (7/7): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1

Opposing Force: 9x La Croix Security Zakos

Combat Result: Victory
Casualties: None
Enemy Casualties: 8 Wounded, 1 Killed
Experience Points Earned: 9

Commissioner Faye Edwards (37, F) of La Croix Security has resigned in disgrace after a planned ambush of the terror group “:3” ended in disaster early this morning. Sources close to Edwards report that when LCS received an anonymous tip warning that :3 was about to hit the northwest location of the La Croix Community Credit Union, LCS, which was contracted to provide security for the location, attempted to set a trap for them.

“They were just too well-armed” said Estelle Burns (21, F), one of the LCS personnel assigned to take part in the ambush. “We were told that their vans would be marked, and they would only be carrying melee weapons, but those sluts had fucking submachine guns!” While Ms. Burns went on to describe the scene as “a bloodbath” only one LCS staff member was killed (21 yo. Roxanne Clark) However, Ms. Burns and seven others were injured, and four remain in critical condition at St. Elmo Hospital.

Dispatch from Regional: "Sorry about that one, you guys. Not your fault, and good job getting out of there. But yeah, I'm sorry to say we have a leak, although probably not one in your chapter. We'll let you know when we've found them, though, 'cause I imagine you probably want some payback for that."

Edit: Forgot to talley the take-down credits. Skills for kills, agents!

Rachel: 0
Sophia: 0
Tom: 1 (+1 XP)
Anons: 8

Tom is now Lv. 2. He's still a zako, so his HP only increases by 1, but that means he can take a hit. He can also attack twice per turn, which makes him the equivalent of 2 Lv. 1 zakos (pretty straightforward, huh?). Better yet, just having him in your unit raises your unit's group skill check modifier from +1 to +2 (anons don't gain experience).
 
Last edited:

ViridianShine

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Sep 18, 2018
Lurker, but...this looks like fun. I'll bite.

Name: Natalie Kostelnik

Age: 22

Appearance: Straight, cropped auburn hair falling just above the shoulders, though it looks dyed from a natural blonde. Bright, vivid green eyes and slightly thinner lips, with a small, rounded face. D-Cup, with a smooth, thin body.

Lets go with this as her outfit (though can be forced to wear the...odd bikini outfits of Colon Three, she won't on her own terms):

Bio: Cold, snarky, and fearless, Natalie joined up with Colon Three following her graduation after being tired of playing the clean, pristine girl for her whole life. Already trying to slip into an illegal gang prior, Natalie was referred to Colon Three at some point due to their tendency to prefer young, attractive women such as herself. Natalie doesn't shy from a fight, and may be a tad too confident for someone with her abilities...

Fate: Lethal/Non-Lethal doesn't matter; just flip the coin on me. Though if I have a say on death, I don't particularly gravitate towards excessive blood or rape.
 

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Recruit Kostelnik is welcomed warmly, and while she's allowed to wear real pants and a top, they have to be either pink or white. Unfortunately (?) the fake cat ears and tail are non-negotiable.

Regional is still investigating the intel leak. In the meantime, :3's La Croix chapter has been given another minor job. The short notice is deliberate. The hope is that the mole won't have time to leak any intel.

9/29/18, Abduction & Ransom

Target: Public Park on SE 72nd and Payne
Objective: Capture one or more civilians (alive).
Force: 10x Zakos in 2x Vans +2x Getaway Drivers
Difficulty: Lv. 1

Background: The municipal park on SE 72nd and Payne is frequently used by the students from the nearby Payne Academy, a posh private high school for some of La Croix's more affluent families. If the Chapter hits it fast and hard, it should be able to grab a few rich brats and get out before the cops or any costumed vigilantes arrive.

Let's do it!

The sound of screaming tires announce the arrival of :3. Unmarked panel vans appear at either of the park's two entrances. Rich high school students on their lunch break are suddenly told to get down and put their hands behind their heads by an armed group of costumed weirdos. Most of the students comply without incident, but a group of seniors stand their ground. They're the Payne Academy Justice Club, and they're all students of Professor Violet Maldonado, Payne Academy's vigilantism teacher! They look like martial arts adepts, but the :3 zakos came prepared... with shock batons!

Force: 10x :3 Zakos

1: Rachel (21, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (9/10 XP) *
2: Sophia (18, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (9/10 XP) *
3: Tom (19, M): 2/2 HP, Lv. 2 (0/20 XP) **
4: Natalie (22, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (0/10 XP) *
5: Anon :3 Zakos (6/6): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 **

Opposing Force: Payne Academy Justice Club

1: Anon Zakos (7/7): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1

Combat Result: Victory
Casualties: 0
Enemy Casualties: 7 KOs
Experience Points Earned: 7

Final Result: Success. The unconscious and twitching members of the Payne Academy Justice Club make ready-made hostages. Napping kids, ready to kidnap. :3 throws them in the vans and speeds away. And before the incident is even called in!

Final Result: Success
Experience Points Earned: 1

Take-Down Credits: Rachel (1), Sophia (1), Tom (2), Natalie (1), Anons (2)
Final XP Tally: Rachel (9), Sophia (9), Tom (10), Natalie (9)

Dispatch from Regional: "Nice work. We'll handle the arrangements for the drop-off. In the meantime, we want you to make our new guests comfortable. And, uh, we mean that literally. It's not a euphemism. The prisoners are NOT to be harmed, understand?"

Everyone but Natalie is Lv. 2 now! Lv. 1 jobs will only get easier, but you'll also be given Lv. 2 jobs going forward. How long will your good luck hold? Right, you're right, I'm sorry. It's not luck. You guys are just so badass. For sure.
 
Last edited:

dinomoneyman

Swell Supporter
Joined
Aug 23, 2014
Love the idea. I figured I'd recycle one of my zako characters that I often use as an alternate version of her for this canon.

Name: Emi Miyato
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Appearance: Slim and short, dyed green hair, almost never smiles. Doesn't wear a mask because she's already a known crook.
Personality: Cold and distant loner, though may rarely open up a bit to very specific people. Doesn't speak unless necessary. Just wants to kill whoever needs to be killed, get the job done, and return to base. Confident to a fault.
Background: Has lived on the streets most of her life, and got by through crime, giving her the basic skills required to be an average zako. When she learned there was a group that could make her better money than the petty crimes she'd been doing, she joined immediately, seeing as she never had much self-preservation to begin with.

Lethality: Yeah I don't have any problems with her dying. (Especially because this is perhaps the least likable version of Emi I've ever described in my history of using her, haha)
Cat Emi.png
 
Last edited:

Kayfabe

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Aw, Emi's so sad! She's so pathetic, I want to protect her. I won't, of course, but I want to!

:3's La Croix Chapter is waiting on news from Regional. In the meantime, they're enjoying some downtime in their hideout. As the Chapter's only boy, Tom is frequently teased, given an outsize share of the chores, and has generally been made into a sort of errand boy. Rachel is sliding into an informal leadership position, her bubbly personality does a lot to hold the group together.

Natalie is a bit more serious, though. While the anons are keeping an exterior lookout, she patrols the abandoned factory the Chapter is using as a hideout. So it's Natalie who first encounters a lone intruder sneaking around. She sounds the alarm, and the rest of the Chapter springs into action!

9/30/18, Intruder Detected

Target: The Intruder! (I mean, duh.)
Objective: Eliminate or Capture the Intruder
Force: 10x :3 Zakos (Total Strength: 14)
Difficulty: Lv. 1

1: Rachel (21, F): 2/2 HP, Lv. 2 (8/20 XP)
2: Sophia (18, F): 2/2 HP, Lv. 2 (8/20 XP) *
3: Tom (19, M): 2/2 HP, Lv. 2 (9/20 XP) **
4: Natalie (22, F): 2/2 HP, Lv. 2 (8/20 XP) **
5: Emi (20, F): 1/1 HP, Lv. 1 (0/10 XP) **
6: Anon :3 Zakos (5/5), Lv. 1

Opposing Force: Anon Hero (23, M): 7/7 HP, Lv. 1 (Total Strength: 7)

The lone hero, a masked man, appears to be another martial arts adept. :3 comes at him with truncheons, knives, and shock batons. Rachel is quickly felled by a powerful blow to the abdomen. She falls, doubling over and gasping for breath. Soon after, Sophia suffers a knee kick to the crotch. While it's not enough to bring her down, she spends the rest of the fight staggering around and uselessly clutching at her aching cunt.

That fight lasts for quite a while, as Tom, Natalie and Emi coordinate their attacks. Natalie in particular is good at giving Tom orders, but it's the new girl, Emi, who finally takes the hero down. The fight ends when the hero, restrained by Tom and Natalie, is shocked into unconsciousness by Emi, who perhaps uses a higher voltage than was strictly necessary.

Sophia and Rachel will be all right. Rachel even comes to as soon as the fight is over. Both of them have serious bruises, but nothing they won't recover from, and nothing they need to see a medic about.

Combat Result: Victory
Casualties: 1 KO (Rachel)
Enemy Casualties: 1 KO
Experience Points Earned: 7

Final Result: Success. The interloping wannabe was kept from escaping. And better yet, he was captured alive. He can be interrogated when he comes to. A thorough sweep of the hideout suggests that the hero infiltrated on his own.
Experience Points Earned: 1

Takedown Credits: Sophia (1), Tom (2), Natalie (2), Emi (2)
Final XP Tally: Rachel (8), Sophia (9), Tom (10), Natalie (10), Emi (10)

Dispatch from Regional: "You know the drill: time for you guys to relocate. Just be careful when moving the hostages. As for the prisoner... we can't send you a professional interrogator. Not in the middle of a move. See what you can get out of him. Try to find out who he is, at least. That'll help us decide what to do with him."

If you feel like your zako has a particular interest in interrogation, let me know. Otherwise, the duty will be randomly assigned.
 
Last edited:

Airtew

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jan 22, 2013
Location
USA
Name: Jessica Blake
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Appearance: A tall girl with red hair and green eyes. The cat tail is a new look for her, but she's willing to try anything once.
Personality: She is a quirky and fun girl at heart. Though she doesn't like breaking the law she secretly gets excited when she goes on missions and does evil things.
Background: Jessica grew up in a very large household. As such, she was easily lost in the crowd of children. While she was able to do whatever she wanted, she never had the money to pursue her dreams of becoming an instagram model. Exotic places with delicious foods are her dream, so a criminal organization just screamed opportunity.
180929kisekae.png
Fate: She's young and beautiful, but her poor choice may get her killed someday. (Death Ok)
 

dinomoneyman

Swell Supporter
Joined
Aug 23, 2014
So don't mind me, I'm just gonna periodically comment random thoughts on events because I'm pretty into this, lol.

-Imagining Sophia uselessly clutching her crotch throughout the whole fight is pretty dang cute.
-Natalie did well for being the first one on the scene! They're usually the first down.
-Lucky break for Emi on her first mission. Congrats to my girlie. Only time will tell if that luck will last! :eek:
-Ooh, interrogation! Always fun.

Oddly enough, I can see Emi getting along with Tom more than most specifically due to him being an odd one out and her usually clinging to outcasts while disliking the bubbly girly-girl types. :tongue::tongue::tongue:
 

JonCujoh

Swell Supporter
Joined
Dec 9, 2015
Location
In Space
Name: Dan
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Appearance: Long Blond hair, green eyes, slim body
Story: He is a shy guy, not even a dropout like the other zako here, but suck at sport, he don't know martial art, he actually never fight in his life, but he think that joining this organization will make him rich
Fate: I prefer non lethal action, but if he have to die, I will make no objection

I can't stand that Tom is the only boy here, so I give him company, maybe more boys will join in a near future who knows? :p
 

Airtew

Vivacious Visitor
Joined
Jan 22, 2013
Location
USA
Name: Dan
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Appearance: Long Blond hair, green eyes, slim body
Story: He is a shy guy, not even a dropout like the other zako here, but suck at sport, he don't know martial art, he actually never fight in his life, but he think that joining this organization will make him rich
Fate: I prefer non lethal action, but if he have to die, I will make no objection

I can't stand that Tom is the only boy here, so I give him company, maybe more boys will join in a near future who knows? :p
But if Tom was the only boy we could do a harem anime!
 

ZakoLover

Casual Client
Joined
Feb 19, 2018
OK, I'm in! :cool:

touko.png

Name: Touko Futaba

Age: 20

Gender: Female

Appearance: Slim body, big boobs, braided long blonde hair, always smiling.

Personality: Touko is a very smart young woman who excels at analyzing the situations and making plans accordingly. She is also very friendly and be able to get along with everyone around her. However, hidden under that cheerful face is actually a cynical soul who deeply distrusts other people.

Background: No one knows for sure what exactly happened to Touko in the past. The only thing that is certain is it left a deep scar in her heart that makes her believe that the world she is living in is wrong and it's her duty to fix it. She hates the wrongdoers but she also despises the so called "heroes", who she thinks is nothing more than a bunch of clowns that will never achieve anything. She firmly believes that power is the only answer to all problems and she is going to get it, no matter the cost. Only when she is at the top would she be able to make the world a better place.

Fate: Let's put this inside a spoiler tag, so people won't get spoiled if they don't want to.
Touko's misguided crusade is ended abruptly when her perfect plan is ruined by the heroes by sheer dumb luck. Even though she survives the encounter, her boss is enraged by her failure. As a punishment, Touko is sold as a sex slave to a cruel and perverted rich man, and she died shortly after that due to "overwork".

Even if she wins, she is still going to meet the same fate, since her boss has realized that she is too ambitious and therefore, a threat, and decide to dispose of her.
 

Kendall

Avid Affiliate
Joined
Jan 10, 2016
OK, I'm in! :cool:

View attachment 80906

Name: Touko Futaba

Age: 20

Gender: Female

Appearance: Slim body, big boobs, braided long blonde hair, always smiling.

Personality: Touko is a very smart young woman who excels at analyzing the situations and making plans accordingly. She is also very friendly and be able to get along with everyone around her. However, hidden under that cheerful face is actually a cynical soul who deeply distrusts other people.

Background: No one knows for sure what exactly happened to Touko in the past. The only thing that is certain is it left a deep scar in her heart that makes her believe that the world she is living in is wrong and it's her duty to fix it. She hates the wrongdoers but she also despises the so called "heroes", who she thinks is nothing more than a bunch of clowns that will never achieve anything. She firmly believes that power is the only answer to all problems and she is going to get it, no matter the cost. Only when she is at the top would she be able to make the world a better place.

Fate: Let's put this inside a spoiler tag, so people won't get spoiled if they don't want to.
Touko's misguided crusade is ended abruptly when her perfect plan is ruined by the heroes by sheer dumb luck. Even though she survives the encounter, her boss is enraged by her failure. As a punishment, Touko is sold as a sex slave to a cruel and perverted rich man, and she died shortly after that due to "overwork".

Even if she wins, she is still going to meet the same fate, since her boss has realized that she is too ambitious and therefore, a threat, and decide to dispose of her.
Danm your gir's got ambitions, too bad she's become a lowly sexy Zako. I also love what happened to my girl, getting kicked in her exposed pussy. just remember she's need with big tits jiggling. only tiing she's wearing is high heel boots and cat ears and tail. and is it ok if I add a couple more zako to this? or am I just stuck with one?
 
Top Bottom