Sick of porno-styled dirty talk? (1 Viewer)

[Adudeyouprobablyknow]

I made a character dialogue for those of you who might want something slightly more realistic.
(Best placed with an original character model; straight-face or maybe even angry 'Mood')
Also, it's just a straight-up guy 'n girl somewhat-dating/hookup situation; no mention of incest, furries or brutality. Basically, I made her spunky, smart(ass) and self aware.
Snarky and sarcastic on the surface, she really is into it deep down. But as much as porn leads one to take it for granted, deepthroating is a serious favor and incredibly straining.
I hope this txt. file can breathe a little refreshing life into the game, while also serving the purpose you opened it for in the first place.
If you like the general direction, lemme know. If not, ... Well dammit.

 

[bodsquad1]

Just 30 seconds of reading the dialogue and i love it. it is without a doubt the funniest dialogue i have ever read for this game, well done. of course as this is Super Deepthroat, most of the complaints she puts out are kind of moot. but bloody hilarious at the same time.

 

[Adudeyouprobablyknow]

Hey, thanks a bunch, dude! And oh yeah, she's petty as hell. Haha.
She's partially based on someone I know who will never let you hear the end of it when you're indebted to her, how much I would hate being in her spot and then just generally made to poke fun at the conventions of why someone enjoys the game in the first place.
I might do more if it gets a bit of a following. I appreciate it!

 

[Hank East]

Nice dialogue mate, it's pretty funny. To me it brings to mind what Severa/Selena from Fire Emblem Awakening/Fates would say if she gave a guy a blowjob :P

 

[Adudeyouprobablyknow]

Dude, thank you! I LOVE Severa! Hey, who knows? Maybe she worked her way into my head.

 

[Crispy]

Love it, keep it up.

 

[DFSIR]

>Sick of porno-styled dirty talk?

Yeah, I'm sick of that kind of thing. If I wanted to listen to corny-porny, I'd just watch some.

 

[DrZombi]

I would not say that I'm sick of porno-styled dirty talk but you're all right anyway, this dialogue is a refreshing change, and very funny.
In my personal opinion though, realistic does not necessary mean that she has to be really unhappy about giving head. If she does not like it, she should not do it. But hearing her constantly complaining while sucking is quite of a turnoff.

Some way to improve the dialogue could be to have the possibility for her to just enjoy herself a little bit at some point, if you're not a total asshole to her. But that's only for what I'd call the "realistic" part. On the SDT dialogue point of view, it's just funny to have this unhappy princess between other dialogues. So, Thumb Up :)

Anyway, from a purely technical point of view, my syntax colored notepad and Dialogue Checker point out that you have lines 68 & 121 unfinished (you forget the last "). And so they will never play. And you also let some : which should be replaced by %3A but nothing which could prevent the dialogue to run well :)

 

[Adudeyouprobablyknow]

Nice catch on so many counts! I really did try to proofread a bunch, but I didn't know about the checker thing til just now. And just all around, thanks!

She actually does like it quite a bit, the reluctance you're reading comes from her not wanting to necessarily give you the satisfaction of showing weakness (being a prideful personality type) while she's doing you a favor. That's the 'Tsundere' part of the show.

I'm thinking of doing a 'more realistic' something else maybe from the world of character tropes or otherwise. Tsunedere was just my first choice, as I have a sweet spot for them.

You'll find she greatly prefers swallowing to facials because she hates it in the eyes and hair, but even goes as far as to call swallowing her 'favorite thing they do together', she just takes her shame and moments of vulnerability about it out on the player.

 

[Adudeyouprobablyknow]

DrZombi, I hath fixed the numbers and discovered (at least in this case) the 3%A made no difference in mine for some reason. Thanks for being helpful and speaking your mind. I greatly prefer that to saying nothing and just lettin' it go!

Last note on the character, I tested again for a while to make sure things didn't seem overly unwilling or actually forceful (Also a HUGE turnoff of mine) and I found that it really just is the Tsundere-type. It's just not everyone's thing. And also, half of the writing. Half self-aware/stuff you'd never hear in standard porn, half tsundere trope.

The thing about Tsundere's is that it takes someone to cut through their rough exterior and (mostly) empty insults to catch them vulnerable. And there are many, many lines where she openly enjoys herself. I hope that didn't sound defensive; I just find actual force in the bedroom disgusting. I made her legitimately get angry when 'Held' and I didn't even make 'Wake' dialogue honestly cuz I don't agree with the concept.

 

[DrZombi]

Yes you're right, replacing %3A will not make any difference, it's just that colons are a specific key-word used by the dialogue parser and as such it is always a good idea to not spread them where they should not be. Just a good habit to take :)

I did not know at all the word "Tsundere". Now I understand your dialogue a lot better :)