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Kidnapped Daughter

Discussion in 'Audio Dialogue' started by TetsuyaHikari, Oct 12, 2011.

  1. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Kidnapped Daughter SWF

    Hey guys! I'm new to the forum (although I've been a lurker for a while, heh) and just figured I'd try to take a crack at writing up some dialogue for particular personalities. The first one I had in mind was to write something for a snobby, rich type of girl. I have a thing for them (mainly because of their attitudes, I suppose ;3).

    I'm sure you know the kind of girl I'm talking about though. Stuck up, looks down on others, thinks anybody should be grateful if they are in her presence, that sort of thing. Anyway! This dialogue in particular is best suited with a blindfold (you'll know why if you look through some of the lines). After all, this is supposed to reflect you playing as the kidnapper. Now, having looked over most of the lines after typing them up, I will say..even if you don't use a blindfold the whole time, it should be fine.

    However, adding the blindfold and keeping it on will get better results, heh. So, just try to imagine yourself playing as the kidnapper and you have just taken this rich girl captive. She believes her wealthy father will come save her and you will pay for your crimes. Well..that's what she thinks anyway, but we don't care about what she thinks, now do we? :3

    I hope you guys enjoy my first work here! I hope to release more in the future if people like this one. I just figured it was time I gave back to the SDT community since I've downloaded a few things from here, including dialogues, heh. I just never thought I'd be putting my English skills to use by creating dialogue for a game such as this ;D

    EDIT 1: Derp. Just realized on one of the restarts, she's supposed to say, "What do you mean, "no" ?!" during the sentence, but because I put quotation marks around no, it didn't register in the game. So, it only came up as, "What do you mean.". Sorry about that.

    I've made the slight adjustment and re-uploaded it.

    EDIT 2: I have fixed some errors with the previous version (I forgot to put quotation marks around some of the lines, so they wouldn't show). I have also added more lines (including a "cum_in_nose" situation), double the amount, basically. There are now 10 lines for everything excluding:

    Interrupt (which remains unchanged due to the nature of it)
    Cough (Same situation as above. A cough is an onomonopia, so using many lines for this is rather pointless)

    The Intro and Restart now have 15 and 16 lines, respectively. So, I hope that now you will enjoy the variety I have added to the revised version~!

    EDIT 3: I just realized something, but..why is it that when I try this out and load the dialogue, I'm seeing different lines from the ones I added to the text file? Since this was my first one, I edited a pre-existing dialogue that I already had, but just changed all of the lines. However, in the game..I'm still seeing these lines that I didn't add and I'm not seeing any of my own lines.

    I'll give you an example. If you load the file, sometimes she will say, "You're tearing my throat!". However..if you search for, "tearing" in the text file, it says the word can't be found at all. As far as the text file is concerned, it doesn't exist, yet..SDT seems to think it does. Why?

    Any help with this matter would be much appreciated. Thanks!

    EDIT 4: Sorry guys, I'm having to re-upload the file again because of a slight error I made, heh. Thanks to the help of fuzzydude64 though, it should be fixed. This should be the final version. Again, sorry!

    I'm still new to this >_<

    EDIT 5: Wow, I also just noticed the cum_in_nose lines weren't showing up properly. Geez. How many times am I going to need to revise this? Hahahaha. Okay okay okay.

    HOPEFULLY..this will be the very last time. Man..I really should have looked over this more thoroughly before releasing the first one. I'll try to be more careful in the future!

    EDIT 6: After further examination, it has come to my attention that, "DEFAULT:
    all:"CLEAR"" is a better route to make sure there aren't any lines missing. I'll be using this method from now on since it's clear cut and easy to remember. This is probably something that others have already remedied by editing the previous versions themselves, but meh..re-uploading it anyway with the new format.

    Thanks for the help, Mak and Booster. I hope the users don't think I'm a dumbass for having to fix this so many times, ha! I'll check it more thoroughly next time before uploading it. I know I'm new to this and all, but geez..so many revisions, lol.

    EDIT 7: Added booster's custom edit for the dialogue. Check it out if you want to see a different take on the dialogue~

    EDIT 8: I just realized I spelled, "receptacle" with an "i". Oh brain, you so silly. I'm not going to bother re-uploading it just for that. I'll just apologize for the dumb mistake and hope you guys edit it yourselves, lol.

    EDIT 9: Just wanted to let you guys know that the girl I have asked to voice the lines for this dialogue is about 45% complete. I don't have an exact timeframe of when it will be finished and released, but I figured I'd let you know the ball is indeed rolling, heh. She's a good friend of mine and definitely has a great voice, so I hope you will enjoy it~!

    EDIT 10: The lines have been recorded, there just need to be some slight adjustments made to a few of the lines and I need to change it into a SWF. I've added some samples from the dialogue for you guys to enjoy in the meantime while you wait for the final product. Let me know what you think of Melody's voice :3

    EDIT 11: I planned on releasing the SWF by the end of the week, but the program I need to make the SWF with is hard as hell to get, apparently, and it's not exactly user-friendly either. Sooooooo...this means I'll have to rely on Anonymous after all. He will be busy until about Saturday or so, so we're looking at a release sometime next week then, I'm thinking.

    EDIT 12: Thanks to Anon for making the SWF for this dialogue and to Melody for putting the voice behind it! As I've stated before, there are going to be a few lines that sound a little distorted because she was too close when recording them. However, most of it should be fine.

    Not bad for our first project anyway, I guess, heh. The next dialogue, Runaway Girl, will be better than this though, don't worry :3. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy it!

    EDIT 13: I know I said some of the lines had distortion in them, but geez..some of them sound like they are in pretty bad quality in-game. Here, you can listen to all of the sounds and you will see that they should not be sounding THAT distorted:

    Kidnapped Daughter sound pack

    It just seems so random. One minute it's clear, the next it's distorted. I don't get this at all. If anybody knows what could be the cause of this, please let me know. Thanks!

    EDIT 14: Thanks to the suggestion of ModGuy and Anonymous for fixing the problem with the original SWF. Everything is now how it should be! Well, aside from the problems on our end, which I already stated before (some of the lines being recorded too close to the mic, heh).
     

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  2. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    very nice idea! sadly on the first look there are very few lines. she will repeat herself over and over again while you play with her :( but if you double the lines it surely will be awesome!
     
  3. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Oh, haha. Well, it is my first submission. I'll try to make sure to add more lines next time!

    I had to scrap the "cum in eye" lines since she should be wearing a blindfold, but on my next dialogue, I will probably add that as well as "cum in nose" lines. I guess trying to keep it within the restriction of the blindfold put a limit to where I could go with this dialogue, heh. I appreciate the input though!

    I'll try harder on the next one. Thanks!
     
  4. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    wow, now that's what i'm talking about, great work there mate! i'm looking forward to test it ^^
     
  5. fuzzydude64

    fuzzydude64 Potential Patron

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    EDIT2: I took a look at the dialogue and I figured out the problem. You forgot to clear the default Intro lines. lol
    Here's the full thingy (below), just Copy/Paste it into yours.

    DEFAULT:
    intro:"CLEAR"
    resistance:"CLEAR"
    interrupt:"CLEAR"
    cough:"CLEAR"
    first_throat:"CLEAR"
    first_dt:"CLEAR"
    pull_off:"CLEAR"
    held:"CLEAR"
    wake:"CLEAR"
    vigourous:"CLEAR"
    pre_cum:"CLEAR"
    cum_on_face:"CLEAR"
    cum_in_throat:"CLEAR"
    cum_in_mouth:"CLEAR"
    cum_in_eye:"CLEAR"
    swallow:"CLEAR"
    drool:"CLEAR"
    restart:"CLEAR"
     
  6. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Oh! Well..that might explain it then, heh. I guess that's what I get for editing a pre-existing dialogue I had >_<

    Thanks for the help! I'm re-uploading the fixed version now.
     
  7. Mak

    Mak Avid Affiliate

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    The highlighted part is the reason for those specific lines still not working right, it's spelled "vigorous"

    Konashion misspelled it once in a previous release and it has caused issues since. Checking the modding section of his blog usually helps clear up these issues, he'll mention them as soon as he knows about them, but it's a small thing that often gets overlooked with copy&paste.

    I haven't tested your current all:"CLEAR" version though, that should work. Which would make everything above a waste of time to everyone who reads this. (I can pretend to be sorry if you like.)

    It's not my thing, but the dialogue is well written, I would like to see a willing/slumming version of the same archetype if you're up for it. I'm an extremely analytical person with a small imagination so I appreciate other people's work.
     
  8. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    i came!
    i tested your monologue yesterday and have to say it once more: great job!

    but i have to admit that i edited your dialogue a little to fit my likings. in my opinion, no line should be longer than the size of the text-field in the game, so i split some of them up in 2 separated lines.

    i fixed the above mentioned problem myself by deleting all the "clear-lines" and just adding:
    DEFAULT:
    all:"CLEAR"

    i wonder why nobody else does that...
     
  9. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Thanks for the input, guys. I suppose it would just be a hell of a lot easier to fix by just using:

    DEFAULT:
    all:"CLEAR"

    instead, heh. I'll just do that from now on. Man, I really hope my next dialogue turns out better. This is like, what, the 5th revision or something? Geez, lol.

    Well..I guess everyone has to start somewhere, heh. Thanks again, guys!

    EDIT:

    Sorry. I meant to respond to this as well, but just forgot I guess X3. I was going to ask you to be a little more descriptive about what you mean. Would it be something like this?

    "Hehe..you're really enjoying this, aren't you pervert?"
    "The taste is rather strong..but if it's your semen, I can live with it I guess"
    "What's wrong? Is your penis already going to surrender to my wonderful mouth? Hmmm?"
    "Surely you can produce more cum than this, right..?"
    "Consider yourself lucky. It's not every day you get lips as good as mine wrapped around your cock, commoner."

    Oh and don't worry, I totally understand where you're coming from regarding the analytical comment, heh. I'm the same way..then again..I'm also autistic =3=
     
  10. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    i see no problem in reediting a dialogue over and over again, since it's getting better and better from it ;)
     
  11. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Just figured I'd let you guys know, a friend of mine might record the lines for this. I talked with her about it and she was okay with it. Her boyfriend was too, so all that's left is for me to say, "Okay, let's do it!" and wait for her to send me her lines, heh.

    I've already asked if she would record the lines for a future dialogue though, so I'd hate to pressure her into doing even more, but if she's more than willing to do it..which she seems to be..then I guess I should take her up on her offer. I never thought I'd be seeking out voice actresses with the opening line, "How do you feel about guys fapping to your voice?" though, lol.
     
  12. They Call Me Whale

    They Call Me Whale Potential Patron

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    Ha, that's funny but awesome. I wish you the best of luck Sir.
     
  13. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    wow, tetsuyahikari thats GREAT news! i love your dialoge an am looking really forward for the voice version :D

    maybe you wanna take a look at my edit? don't get me wrong, i just edited it to my personal liking and i don't intend to crab on your excellent work! but maybe you want to compare it a little to have a bigger variety for the actual recorded lines?
    in my version i rearranged the lines a little because some categories are needed more often than others
     

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  14. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    I just glanced over your edit and saw a few things. Some of them I agree with, some of them I don't, but that's okay. I see you added more interruptions, which is probably fine, but adding more cough lines were a bit unnecessary, in my opinion. As I stated in my first post, a cough is an onomonopia, so there isn't going to be much variety there at all, honestly.

    It's going to be spelled out just how it sounds, "cough", lol. Anyway, I don't have a problem with the ideas you have, honestly. I'd just rather stick to my own source material, that's all. Please don't take that the wrong way though. It's nothing personal :3

    Also, good news! I talked it over some more with my friend and she said she would do it. She said she needs the experience of playing different roles out and such, so we may be hearing more from her after she records the lines for this one. She goes by the name, "Melody". I hope you guys enjoy what she will bring to the table, heh.

    She has sent me a sample and it sounds pretty nice so far. Definitely fap worthy (if you like girls with bitchy attitudes anyway X3). Anyway, I'll keep you guys posted though. I'm working on a new dialogue right now for a different situation. It's a bit more tame than this, but don't think it will be of less quality ;3

    Look forward to it!
     
  15. Mak

    Mak Avid Affiliate

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    I don't want to be too specific because I'd like to see where you go with it. Generally I like the way you wrote the rich/snobby archetype, and am interested in seeing a willing version; your examples are pretty much on the mark. Rather than "commoner" maybe something a little more insulting even though she's willing. Obviously I'm not asking you to replace what you have, just for an alternate version.

    I'm not sure if I'll be on again anytime soon, so no need to hurry if you do plan on doing it. I'm in the middle of moving and am currently stealing my neighbor's wireless on a borrowed laptop.

    I checked out your other works, keep up the good writing. Whether it's my thing or not, it's interesting and good writing.
     
  16. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Thank you for your kind words, Mak. I'm not sure if I will get around to writing a willing version of that archetype, so I won't make any promises. I've just got some other stuff lined up already, so this wouldn't be very high on my priorities at the moment. I'll see how these other dialogues turn out though and if I'm digging around for ideas, I'll make a more willing version of this, but make it more like a, "Princess and her servant" type of scenario.

    Now, onto the news! The girl I've been working with, Melody, she has recorded all of the lines for the kidnapped daughter dialogue (I didn't realize there was 182 lines..geez!). Also, before anybody asks..yes, she included the interrupt and cough lines as well, heh. If you think there are any errors after hearing the finished product, blame me for that. She's done a great job and it was my responsibility as her Director to give her the proper tools she needed and push her in the right direction.

    I told her the kind of attitude I wanted and everything and she provided me with exactly that. A snobby, rich, stuck up bitch. Anyway, it should be released soon. She needs to re-record three of the lines due to adding a couple of words in the dialogue, but that's okay. Hell, I actually prefer what she recorded as opposed to what I wrote for these three lines, but I want it to match up with the dialogue and I'm not going to re-upload a revised version again, lol.

    So yeah, basically..you can expect this to be uploaded by the end of the week. There are a few samples below to hold you off until the final product is released :3
     

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  17. booster

    booster Avid Affiliate

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    sounds very erotic! except the smegma line, thats REALLY gross and off turning :(
     
  18. TetsuyaHikari

    TetsuyaHikari Avid Affiliate

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    Haha. Yeah, I figured some would say that, but I'm trying to release something for everyone, ya know? Some people get off on that sort of thing. Also, I think it adds to the humiliation factor if she's having to clean something so filthy.

    Well, maybe that's just my take on it anyway, heh. Regardless, good news is, I've been talking with Melody about this dialogue and discussing future projects with her. She says she's interested in recording the lines for my Schizophrenic Girlfriend dialogue I'm currently writing (which is about 40% complete at the moment). She says she also wants to record the lines from my Runaway Girl dialogue in a younger voice than what you hear here.

    I think you can look forward to a lot of future collaborations between myself and Melody in the future. It's a great combination, in my opinion. A good dialogue with a good voice.

    Well, I say it's a good dialogue anyway, heh. I've seen some of the stuff around here and I'd say mine would rank pretty well since the grammar is good in my dialogues. Not to mention, I add quite a few more lines for extra variety and less repetition.

    In any case though, I hope you guys enjoy the final product. I may have put some work into this, but she has definitely put more work into it, adding the icing to an already delicious cake.
     
  19. RuneMan13

    RuneMan13 Potential Patron

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    I really want this one so I hope it's as good as it sounds.
     
  20. DevilJinKazama

    DevilJinKazama Potential Patron

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    Her voice sounds pretty good to me.
    The quality of one of the recordings wasn't too great, so that kinda brought it down..

    But overall, she has a pretty sexy voice.