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Highschool of the Dead dialogues (Saya Takagi and Saeko Busujima)

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by Voktikriid, Jan 1, 2014.

  1. Voktikriid

    Voktikriid Guest

    I recently downloaded the Highschool of the Dead .swf mods for SDT, and I was getting tired of the base dialogue, so I decided to make custom dialogues for my two favorite characters.

    Both dialogues are aimed at Takashi, so feel free to change that if you want.

    I tried to make both characters behave as they do in the anime/manga. Saeko is slightly submissive to Takashi (or whoever else) and has quite a few Ahegao and Happy mood lines. Saya is her typical Tsundere self and is cold towards Takashi(or whoever else), but has a few Ahegao and Happy mood lines.

    My apologies if they're not perfect. These two are the first dialogues that I made for this game. Not sure if I'm going to do Rei and Marikawa, but feel free to request them if you like these first two.
     

    Attached Files:

  2. LN1990

    LN1990 Potential Patron

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    Not to sound like Pim but.

    Saeko
    Dialogue was checked in 19 ms with v2.12 of the DialogueChecker.

    I found 9 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 6 were major issues, and 3 were minor issues.

    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 6. This could indicate a coding error.

    Line 6: intro:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You know how excited I get after fighting "them', you'll help me calm down after this, right?."



    Syntax - Major: More than 2 double quotes were found on line 6, but the line didn't have lineattributes. Did you accidentally put a double quote (") in the line?

    If you want to have double quotes in your line, you should replace them with %22. SDT will replace %22 with " when playing the dialogue, but it won't interfere with loading the dialogue.

    If you were to keep the double quotes in the line as it is now, the line will be cut short after the second double quote. There's likely an "excess characters" issue for this line as well - that's what will get cut off.

    Line 6: intro:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You know how excited I get after fighting "them', you'll help me calm down after this, right?."



    Syntax - Minor: Excess characters (them', you'll help me calm down after this, right?.") after line attributes on line 6. This indicates a syntax error.

    Line 6: intro:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You know how excited I get after fighting "them', you'll help me calm down after this, right?."



    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: ?.) on line 6, col 112 near "(...) right?.""

    Line 6: intro:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You know how excited I get after fighting "them', you'll help me calm down after this, right?."



    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 12. This could indicate a coding error.

    Line 12: cum_on_face:"[NORMAL_MOOD]I'll have to clean this off when we're done... [HAPPY_MOOD]We wouldn't want Rei and the others finding out...



    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 39. This could indicate a coding error.

    Line 39: cum_in_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You made me drink so much...]



    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of opening and closing [] was found on line 39. This could indicate a coding error.

    Line 39: cum_in_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You made me drink so much...]



    Syntax - Major: Missing trigger start of a trigger on line 39, col 56. This indicates a coding error.

    Line 39: cum_in_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You made me drink so much...]



    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 42, col 74 near "(...) you..?""

    Line 42: swallow:"[HAPPY_MOOD]I wonder if Rei would do something like this for you..?"



    Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

    Saya
    Dialogue was checked in 3 ms with v2.12 of the DialogueChecker.

    I found 5 issue(s) with your dialogue, of which 0 were severe, 1 were major issues, and 4 were minor issues.

    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:

    Double space on line 5, col 86 near "(...) you you (...)"

    Line 5: intro:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I see the way that you look at Rei and Busujima senpai, Komuro... Why don't you [HAPPY_MOOD] you look at me?"

    Stripped Line 5: intro:"I see the way that you look at Rei and Busujima senpai, Komuro... Why don't you you look at me?"



    Grammar - Minor: The following issue was found after stripping the line of delay characters, triggers and variable substitutions:

    Double space on line 7, col 56 near "(...) then, let (...)"

    Line 7: pre_cum:"[ANGRY_MOOD]Really? You're already about to cum?[CLOSE_EYES][HAPPY_MOOD] Fine then, [OPEN_EYES] let it out... Just don't get any on my face"

    Stripped Line 7: pre_cum:"Really? You're already about to cum? Fine then, let it out... Just don't get any on my face"



    Syntax - Major: An uneven amount of double quotes was found on line 11. This could indicate a coding error.

    Line 11: cum_on_face:"[ANGRY_MOOD]I'll have to clean this off when we're done... [HAPPY_MOOD]We wouldn't want Rei and the others finding out...



    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 36, col 36 near "(...) all..?[HAPPY_MOOD] (...)"

    Line 36: first_dt:"[NORMAL_MOOD]I fit it all..?[HAPPY_MOOD] Of course I did. I am a genius, after all."



    Grammar - Minor: Grammatical error (double sentence ending: .?) on line 41, col 76 near "(...) you..?""

    Line 41: swallow:"[ANGRY_MOOD]Do Rei and Busujima senpai do things like this for you..?"



    Once you've fixed these issues, try letting me look your dialogue over again. Maybe I'll find something new.

    Fix them and you're good to go.
     
  3. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

    Joined:
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    next time, for pasting DialogueChecker logs on forums, change "line ending" to \n.
    Some editors only accept \n, some only accept \r, some accept \r\n.
    DialogueChecker thus appends each line with \r\n... for those that accept both \r and \n, this leads to double newlines.