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Dialogue Quality Assurance (Last update: 15 June 2013)

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by Pim_gd, Mar 8, 2013.

  1. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Pim_gd's Dialogue Quality Assurance

    I check dialogues for spelling, grammatical, syntactical, logical and other types of mistakes, after which I either fix them or report them to the original author. This improves the quality of the dialogue and prevents silly things like glitches, horrible typo's and other problems from killing your boner.
    See second post for full details.

    If you want me to perform QA on your dialogues (or the dialogues of someone else who clearly hasn't been around in a while), post on this thread or send me a PM.
    You can do this process by yourself for the simple mistakes as well with a tool I made. See this thread for that tool.

    Recent work:
    Sister's Bet - by LoboLascivo (15 June 2013)
    Police woman sucking tourist - by cookiemonste (28 May 2013)
    Road to Ninja (Hinata) - by Penknight (2 May 2013)
    SDT2031 - The One Dialogue - by Slingerbult (1 May 2013)
    Redson's Dialogues (Slutty Princess/Daughter/Mommy/Sister) (4 April 2013)
    Grunt (12 March 2013)
    Molested Daughter (11 March 2013)
    Hypnosis (1.1.2) (10 March 2013)
    A couple of Moocher's dialogues (10 March 2013)
    Liara T'Soni (8 March 2013)
    Succubu (German) (7 February 2013)
    Vampire (7 February 2013)
    The Formula (7 Feburary 2013)
    Succubus (Pino Sante) (7 February 2013)

    Currently working on:
    Nothing at all! I need requests, people! So if you want a dialogue checked and/or improved then let me know!
     
  2. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Original front post:
    I've been lurking for a while now and some weeks ago I broke out of hiding by fixing typo's and other "mistakes" in dialogues of others.
    I see I've received a couple of Karma points for this and that the versions I have posted have actually been downloaded quite some times already (most of them 10-50 times, one 100+).

    When I tried to play around with dialogue myself, I quickly ran into issues regarding interruptions and so. Beyond that, I find my imagination quite lacking...
    So, I'd like to help others with their dialogues instead!

    I'd be willing to check the dialogues of others for any spelling, grammatical or syntax issues.

    The way this would work is that someone posts either a link to a thread with dialogue or posts the dialogue as an attachment on this thread, with a little summary of what the dialogue is about. You can also specify the level of rewrites that you're allowing me to make - do you just want me to fix spelling mistakes, or would you allow me to replace words for synonyms that fit better as well? How about splitting up sentences for better dialogue flow?
    I wouldn't want to rewrite someone's dialogue without their permission as views can conflict.

    Once I have "fixed" said dialogue, I will post it as an attachment on this thread (maybe send you a PM), complete with a report of any things I'm uncertain of (logic errors or proverbs for instance). In addition, I'd post some sort of review regarding the dialogue - about the things I like/dislike, and about what I have noticed in the writing style or mistakes I have found (this can help you identify certain issues in future dialogues).

    So,
    What is in it for you?
    - I check your dialogue for any spelling, grammatical, or syntax issues.
    - I report any logic errors I find (Example: vigorous:"Suck it, bitch!" in a dialogue with a submissive girl and a dominating man - shouldn't it be vigorous:"Suck it, bitch!"{"style":"Him"} ?)
    - I also "review" the dialogue, depth of said review depending on how much I feel like it.

    What's in it for me?
    - I get to be "inspired" by the dialogues of others.
    - Maybe I'll even get to play with dialogues before they are released yet if people contact me first (although my suggestion is just to release it anyway as it is, then offer an update later)

    I'll check this thread daily.

    In the event you feel like posting a dialogue and then continue to work on it - may I suggest you keep your lines in the same order? That way you can use services like http://www.textdiff.com/ to merge the fixes and the new dialogue without too much of a bother.
     
  3. RedSon

    RedSon Potential Patron

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Good idea!


    I have some dialogues for personal use that I intend on releasing.
    The first ones generaly talk about slutty girls and incest. They are a compilation of great works from the comunity (credits will be given on release date) plus original lines. Also they are all written in the "old school way of dialogs".
    Background story in the file.

    Fell free to fix grammar (english is not my mother language) and code mistakes, you can also sugest whetever you feel like.


    Thanks.
     

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  4. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    I'll look them over in more detail when I can, but as of right now:

    general:"[HAPPY_MOOD]Daddy.......Please stop.....You... your cook is too big!"
    Those dots, are they intended to be pacing? If so, I'll replace them with some special characters that slow text output down instead of filling the dialogue box with ........
    (lol, cook)

    The rest of the dialogues seem to be the same - heavy use of ellipsis to indicate the passing of time. I'll fix up the typo's first, upload them, and then I'll do a style makeover on one of the dialogues in regards to those ellipsises(sp?). Then you can tell me whether you prefer that style.
     
  5. RedSon

    RedSon Potential Patron

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Fantastic, take your time and do as you like.

    Thanks.
     
  6. Hank East

    Hank East Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    RedSon......RedSon over paradise!
     
  7. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    There's one typo you keep making...
    "fell" - it's "feel". I also saw one instance of "drolling" instead of drooling, which makes me think you have issues with stretched or "double" vowels. "Jeez" is also affected by this.

    Other changes I made:
    first_throat:"[HAPPY_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]Daddy my mouth is so warm and wet for you, is it ok if my little pussy is too?"
    to
    first_throat:"[HAPPY_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]Daddy my mouth is so warm and wet for you, is it ok if my little pussy is like that as well?"

    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Come on Daddy,[ADD_TEARS] give it too me!"
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD]I like it rough Daddy![ADD_TEARS] Does that mean I'm a naughty girl?!"
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]I like it when you force it down my throat!"
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]I feel so dirty when you fuck my face, Daddy!"
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD][SHOCK]Dear God! [ADD_TEARS]That's why Mommy said this was so good."
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]Turn your special girl into a cock slut, Daddy!"
    vigorous"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Don't stop Daddy,[ADD_TEARS] pleaaaaase!"
    to
    vigorous:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Come on Daddy,[ADD_TEARS] give it too me!"
    and such...
    many others like it.

    pull_off:"[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]I miss these moments with you Daddy, you should be more present!... Remenber when you promise me to fuck me more every day?...[ANGRY_MOOD] I hate empty promisses."
    to
    pull_off:"[HAPPY_MOOD][LOOK_UP]I miss these moments with you Daddy, you should be more available! ... Remember when you promised me to fuck me more every day? ...[ANGRY_MOOD] I hate empty promises."

    Weird lines:
    pre_cum:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Does your baby girl make you want to sperm?"
    cum_on_face:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]You spermed all over my face Daddy."
    cum_in_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD][ADD_TEARS]You spermed right down my throat."
    I'm not sure what it's supposed to mean.

    interrupt:"-Aaghaghhai!"
    That's one hell of a reaction.

    lick_penis:"[HAPPY_MOOD]It is so hard!... That taste... GOD! I looove licking my Daddy's hard cock?"{"style":"thought"}
    Is she questioning herself?

    held:"[AHEGAO_MOOD][COUGH]I'm going.[COUGH][WINCE]....I'm going.......I'm[COUGH] going to[ARMS_LOOSE] CUUUUUUUUU[COUGH]UUUUUUUUUUUUMM[COUGH][WINCE]MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!![COUGH] AAAAAAAAAAAA[COUGH]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[COUGH]AAAAHHHHH[COUGH]HHHHHHHHHHHH[COUGH]HHHHHHHHHHHH[COUGH][WINCE]HHH!!!!"
    This seems a bit over the top.
    In fact, I'd say that her reaction to cum_in_throat, held and vigorous are all a bit over the top. She's cumming left right and center as if it were through the push of a button.

    INTRO3:" Naughty girl... Do you want my cock that much?[INTRO4]"{"style":"Him"}
    Weird spacing at the beginning of the line.

    intro:"[NORMAL_MOOD]Do you really want me to suck your cock? ... Daddy!? ... Have you think this straight?"
    It's either "have you thought this through?" or "are you thinking straight" - but I don't know which one fits best.

    In my opinion, a princess should have a bit more dignified dialogue - instead of using contractions ("don't", "I'm"), I'd suggest you write the words in proper.

    I managed to fix the typo's of Daughter 1&2 so far. I'll have to go to bed now, and I'll continue with Princess tomorrow.
    The dialogues are quite big, actually. Usually 30kb files are filled with "filler" like conditionals, comments, optional settings, delay characters... but not here...
     

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  8. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Continued with looking the dialogues over...
    There's quite a lot of "cook" typos.
    Another common typo:
    Resistences -> Resistances

    Some special characters can't be used in dialogue, like *. You should use %2A for that instead.

    first_throat:"[AHEGAO_MOOD][ADD_TEARS][COUGH]I loved feeling your big cock in my throat!"
    Loved or love?

    cum_in_mouth:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]Mmmmmn, mommy's mouth full of my *YOU*..."
    Strange switch between 3rd and 1st person here. Don't really know how to correct it.

    cum_in_mouth:"[AHEGAO_MOOD]I should have dragged your sister. It's a shame I couldn't swap it with her before swallowing it, huh?"
    Dragged where?

    You'll have to fix the issues I mentioned yourself.
     

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  9. RedSon

    RedSon Potential Patron

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Man, you're awesome!


    Thanks for your work, the dialogues are pretty big, you must have spent some time reading them.


    About your comments:
    Those dots do intend to be spacing, if you can replace then, that'll be great.
    I won't argue with you about grammar, I'll simple accept it. XD
    I suppose the werd thing is "sperm", if so I'll put "cum" instead.
    I corrected the "questioning line", that was a mistake, she isn't questioning herself.
    About the "cumming", yeah I understand. And although we are talking about SDT, I agree with you. What do you suggest, have her cumming only when "vigorous"?
    Love/Loved was also corrected, the right one is "love".
    I'll try to make the princess more proper. I'll also correct mommy 3rd/1st voices.


    I'll upload the corrections until the end of the week, if you can replace the dots before that I'll be really greatfull.

    PS: Any sugestion from any user are welcome. XD
     
  10. Fenris

    Fenris Avid Affiliate

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    I've done some editing in the past myself, and I know it isn't always easy, but it's a service that just about any writer needs. I'll have to come back later and check out these files. I'm willing to bet I'll find some dialogues I'll want to use.
     
  11. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Sorry, I have been sick and it took quite a bit of my spare time.
    I've made changes in the pacing of one of the dialogues by using the Б character.

    How do you feel about this?

    If other people would like be to check their dialogues - I'm back in business.
     

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  12. RedSon

    RedSon Potential Patron

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    Re: Dialogue QA (grammar/spelling/syntax check)

    Thank you for your work.


    I've done the corrections (already mentioned), added some new lines and replaced the dots to all dialogs.
    I've released it officialy, here is the link: http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=3641.0


    PS: Sorry for the delay.
     
  13. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue Quality Assurance (Last update: 4 April 2013)

    Reformatted the thread a bit so that it is easier to see when what was translated.

    Right now I'm working with Slingerbult to QA his latest dialogue, which should be released soon!
    After that I'd be without requests again so if you want to get your dialogue looked at - or if you'd want me to improve a dialogue made by someone who isn't around anymore, make a request!
     
  14. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue Quality Assurance (Last update: 4 April 2013)

    Slingerbult's SDT2031 dialogue has been released!

    I've taken on another dialogue to look at - Penknight's Road to Ninja (Hinata).
     
  15. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Re: Dialogue Quality Assurance (Last update: 2 May 2013)

    During my work on dialogues I come across a set of common mistakes that are made.
    Here's list you can use to search for any mistakes in your dialogues:
    Code:
    FORMAT:
    [searchstring] - explanation
    
    [: ] - Indicates probable line fault at the start
    [  ] - Double space is always bad.
    [[[] - Wrong trigger.
    []]] - Wrong trigger ending.
    [!.] - Grammatical error
    [?.] - Grammatical error
    [%0A ] - Space at start of new line
    [:" ] - Space at start of new line (or you have spaces in your variables)
    [{style] - improper use of style attribute
    [set:] - improper use of set attribute
    [ *YOU*,] - space before comma if player name is not set
    [ *ME*,] - space before comma if girl name is not set
    [ *YOU*!] - space before exclamation mark if player name is not set
    [ *ME*!] - space before exclamation mark if girl name is not set
    [ *YOU*?] - space before question mark if player name is not set
    [ *ME*?] - space before question mark if girl name is not set
    [ *YOUR* ] - double space if player name is not set
    [ *MY* ] - double space if girl name is not set
    ["*YOU* ] - space at line start if player name is not set
    ["*YOUR* ] - space at line start if player name is not set
    ["*ME* ] - space at line start if girl name is not set
    ["*MY* ] - space at line start if girl name is not set
    
    EDIT: This list, and more, has been implemented into the DialogueChecker! I suggest using the tool instead of checking this list by hand.

    EDIT2: Reupdated the list.
     
  16. Bluey5

    Bluey5 Avid Affiliate

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    I just wanted to say, nice job with all you are doing. I really appreciate that you go and check peoples dialogues. You deserve a little more than some karma and a thanks!
     
  17. f93

    f93 Casual Client

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    I didn't exactly ask for help with my dialogues (as they're pretty consistent compared to a lot of the ones I download), but it's appreciated nonetheless. If you make any dialogue requests yourself, I'll be sure to take a stab at them. Although then you'd probably find lots of things to correct in them, meaning I'd owe you another dialogue, making the entire thing pointless.
     
  18. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    I stopped waiting for people to come to me, and I started just checking about every dialogue that pops up on the forums. That way I have enough material to bugtest the checker. As for a dialogue request being pointless... that's not really true. I'm not very good at writing the dialogue lines myself, but I think I do make a great editor. I can only improve something if I have something to improve.
     
  19. cowboybud

    cowboybud Potential Patron

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    Howdy Pim_gd, I really appreciate the help you provided earlier. I've figured out how to do quite a few different things with writing dialogues. I've got one problem that's really bugging me though. I can't seem to figure out the proper formatting for clothing removal/adding. here's what I have typed up so far. it works great up until the command is given to remove top. How should this be formatted?
    {"set":{"shirt":"none"}} I've tried every variation I can think of. Thanks for any help you can provide.
    Code:
    dialogue_name:"StudentOralExam"
    char_name:"Lisa"
    him_name:"Teacher"
    all:"CLEAR"
    intro:"[HIDE_PENIS][HIDE_BALLS][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Hello Lisa,I'm glad that you came by my office today. I've got an idea of how you can get your grades back up. But first, i need to know just how badly you actually want to pass my class.[custom]"{"style":"him"}
    custom:"[LOOK_UP]Mr. Teacher, I'll do anything!  My parents will kill me if i don't get good grades this year.[ADD_TEARS]  I've already been such a financial burden on them.  I can't fail.  Just give me a chance Mr.*YOU*.  I promise i won't let you down.[TAP_HANDS][intro1]"{"style":"her"}
    intro1:"[LOOK_DOWN]Well *ME*, since you seem so sincere, let me explain my plan.[LOOK_UP]I think I'll give you an Oral Exam first to see just how badly you want this grade.[intro2]"{"style":"him"}
    intro2:"[BLINK][BLINK][BLINK]What do you mean, an Oral Exam Mr.*YOU*?[intro3]"{"style":"her"}
    intro3:"Well Lisa, since you seem so innocent, let me explain.  I want you to suck my Cock[SHOCK] and prove that you really are willing to do anything.[intro4]"{"style":"him"}
    intro4:"[LOOK_UP][ADD_TEARS]Mr.*YOU*, you can't really be serious, can you?  I'm only 18 years old, and haven't even ever had a boyfriend.[intro5]"{"style":"her"}
    intro5:"That really doesn't matter anymore Lisa.  If you want this grade, then you WILL have to do as i say, or you can just accept that you will never pass my class.[intro6]"}"style":"him"}
    intro6:"Okay Mr.*YOU*, I'll do as you ask, but you have to promise me that you won't ever tell anybody about this, okay?[intro7]"{"style":"her"}
    intro7:"It looks like we have an understanding then Lisa.  Why don't you start by taking off your top?{"set":{"shirt":"none"}}[intro8]"{"style":"him"}
    intro8:"[LOOK_DOWN]Now that's very nice Lisa.  I'm glad that you're able to follow directions.  That will help you very much for what's to come.  Keep in mind though that what I say must be followed at all times, or you will have to accept the consequences, Okay?[LOOK_UP][intro9]"{"style":"him"}
    intro9:"Yes Sir Mr.*YOU*, i will do as you say at all times, and will do my best to please you Mr.*YOU*[LOOK_DOWN][intro10]"{"style":"her"}
    intro10:"That's very good to hear Lisa.  You are such a good little girl.  You have such an amazing body Too.  Are you Ready for the next task?[SHOW_PENIS][SHOW_BALLS][intro11]"{"style":"him"}
    intro11:"[LOOK_UP][SHOCK]Wow, Mr.*YOU*, it's actually kinda cool looking!  I thought it would be a big monster looking tool though.  I guess that's just me being a little schoolgirl though.  Can I touch it Please Mr.*YOU*?[intro12]"{"style":"her"}%0A
    intro12:"Yes you may Lisa, This cock is your new teacher, and you need to show it how well you are able to observe it and show it pleasure.[LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB][intro13]"{"style":"him"}
    intro13:"[SHOCK]It feels so weird Mr.*YOU*, I kinda like it though.  It's so soft and small.  I think i'm really going to like this.[LEFT_ARM_LEGS][intro14]"{"style":"her"}
    intro14:"[CLOSE_EYES]Mr.*YOU* can i try......[AUTO_SELF]%0A[LICK_PENIS][OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP]Oh wow, it tastes kinda salty and weet at the same time Mr.*YOU*.[intro15]"{"style":"her"}
    intro15:"Why don't you put it in your mouth a litte Lisa.  If you like the taste, you'll really like this![AUTO_SELF][intro16]"{"style":"him"}
    intro16:"Oh, My God Lisa, that feels really good.  I think you are going to really enjoy our arrangement.[HANDS_HIS_LEGS][AUTO_OFF][LICK_PENIS][intro17]"{"style":"him"}
    intro17:"This is kinda fun Mr.*YOU*, I've actually talked with a few of my girlfirends who have sucked cock before, and they all really seem to love sucking cock.  I think i remember a few things they've talked about.  Can I try some of them Mr.*YOU*?[LOOK_UP][TAP_HANDS][intro18]"{"style":"her"}
    intro18:"Sure, go ahead Lisa, let's see what you think you know.[intro19]"{"style":"him"}
    intro19:"[AUTO_SELF]God Damn Lisa, that feels great.  i guess maybe you did learn a little something from your girlfirends.[intro20]"{"style":"him"}
    intro20"[AUTO_OFF]That was really nice Lisa, but let's try something a little......Dirtier........[LOOK_UP][HELD][SHOCK][intro21]"{"style":"him"}
    intro21:"I hope you're ready Lisa, this might hurt a little at first, but then you'll come to love it, and eventually do it on your own.[intro22]"{"style":"him"}
    intro22:"It's okay Mr.*YOU*, you can use me however you want, i'm your slave for the time being, atleast until i get my grades up.  Just please be Gentle.[intro23]"{"style":"her"}
    intro23:"Okay%0A Lisa%0A, Here%0A We Gooooo.....[AUTO_HARD]"{"style":"him"}
    
     
  20. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Try {"set":{"top":"none"}}.

    That dialogue of yours looks unfinished. A tip - if you're gonna make it a loader mod, you can get around names with VariableArithmetic:
    [VA_SET_VARIABLE_youname_Mister]*[VA_SET_VARIABLE_youname_YOU]* - then you can happily insert youname everywhere.