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Chinese Take(n)out (for Blitzrunner)

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by Raden, Dec 24, 2011.

  1. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Xiaoyu turned nearly white as she checked the fight schedule. "I, wh... what? I have to fight him?? Are they crazy? I'm going to get massacred!"

    "Relax, it's a Tekken Tag Match. You've got me as your partner." Christie's words were meant to reassure, but didn't have that effect.

    "Yeah but why doesn't he have a partner listed? I'm scared here..."

    "Hell if I know. Maybe he couldn't find anyone willing to team with him."

    "I think he just didn't WANT anyone teaming with him. The guy is a monster!"

    "C'mon Xiao, calm down a bit. We have three days to come up with a strategy. We'll take him down." Christie put her arm around Xiaoyu and led her down the hallway. "Now we're obviously a lot faster than he is, so what we'll want to do..."

    _______

    Xiaoyu woke with a jump. She looked at her clock. 4:45 AM. She decided a quick meditation would help calm her. Sitting up straight, she crossed her legs and closed her eyes. She regulated her breathing, and envisioned calm oceans and grassy fields. Peaceful scenes always relaxed her and cleared her mind. She began to lose track of the time, and eventually fell asleep sitting up, slumping over in a more peaceful slumber than she had been having.

    So it was that she woke with a jump when Christie knocked on her door. "Hey Xiao, we missed you at breakfast this morning! Everything alright up here?"

    "What? What time is it?

    "it's 11:20 AM. You okay?"

    "Whoa. Yeah, I was... I had a bad dream, so I meditated, and I always lose track of time when I do it right. No, I'm fine! Thanks for checking though, I appreciate that!"

    "Alright, well, the fight is at 6. Let's grab a bite to eat for lunch in a bit and go over the strategy again, alright? We got this."

    _____________

    "Ladies and gentlemen, this next fight scheduled to be a Tekken Tag Match is now officially a 2 on 1 Handicap Tag Match! Introducing first, the team of Christie Monteiro, and Ling Xiaoyu!

    And introducing next..."

    OBLIGATORY CLIFFHANGER

    (lol)

    edit: Also, just to tease you even more, I have the rest of it written up (and damn was it fun!) but I'm not posting it until tomorrow.

    haaa
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2011
  2. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    hahaha
    I appreciate the fact that you're starting this with me waiting and wanting !!!

    You've got Xiaoyu's "Meditative" and anxious teenager personality right! Of the two, Christie would definitely be the more optimistic ;-P

    thanks leaving a little bit of a teaser for me!
     
  3. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    It is now Christmas Eve, officially, and so as promised, here is the rest of the story. Merry Christmas!

    _______________

    "And introducing next... Craig Marduk!"

    Marduk made his way into the fight arena. Xiaoyu and Christie stoically stood their ground, but Xiaoyu was unnerved inside. She tried not to show it.

    Marduk sidled his way into the fight pit. "Hah!" he sneered. "Look, I ain't completely a bad guy. Alls you gotta do is walk on outta here, and I won't think anything less of ya." He gestured with his hand toward the exit ramp.

    Christie shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere, Marduk. I'm ready for this." She expected Xiaoyu to be gone already, but Xiaoyu stood by Christie. "If she stays, I'm staying. I won't abandon my friend when she is counting on me." Christie was really proud of her.

    Marduk was less proud. "Well, I got to hand it to ya's. Ya got some balls, for chicks. But ya should know I ain't gonna gon' take it easy on ya none just cause you's is girls and such. I play for keeps. Y'all better be prepared for what you's getting into."

    Before Christie could reply, Xiaoyu had found her nerve. "Game on, then."

    ______

    The announcement of "FIGHT!" boomed through the arena. Christie and Marduk stared each other down and circled around, looking for an opening. Marduk tested the waters and threw a fast punch but with no real force behind it, designed to draw out attack patterns. Christie swatted it away. Christie then surprised Marduk with a quick swat that caught him in the mouth. Marduk got an angry look on his face, but stifled it. Fighting angry cost him a few high profile matches, and ultimately his career, and some of his life when he was behind bars. "That's right, Christie, make me angry. Best idea you've ever had, I'm sure. If you's goin' to hit someone, hit them. Like this." He fired a quick right hook, but she wasn't there. He was sure he had been fast enough, but Christie had rolled under it, and pushed off of her hands, landing a spring kick on Marduk's jaw. His head whipped back with the impact and he staggered back a couple of steps. "You mean like that?" Christie asked. Marduk glared at her and nodded. "I see I wasn't takin' you seriously enough." He assumed his stance again, and tried to get a read on Christie's capoeira movements. It was tough, there didn't seem to be a real discernible pattern. He swung a one-two combo. Christie shucked and jived out of the way and then launched her own spin kick to the side of his face. It spun him around in a circle backwards. He gritted his teeth, trying not to lose his temper. "I'm being out-quicked by a girl a third my size! I must look ridiculous by now!" He raised his hands in a boxer's stance, trying to use movement to fake out Christie.

    He tried to fake her out, but his boxing was not the greatest, and besides that, he was trying to fake out Christie with movement, which was akin to using a squirt gun to fight a raging inferno. It wasn't going to be too effective. This was noted when he missed with a wild haymaker and ate a quick one-two combination punch, followed by a forward somersault kick. It staggered him back, but did not knock him down. Now he was mad. "You just sealed your fate!" Christie looked shocked, expecting the kick to knock him down and across the pit. She had done it to some large opponents using those powerful dancer's legs of hers, but Marduk was one of the biggest opponents she had fought. She clearly had not accounted for that. She managed to get over her shock just in time to dodge Marduk's bull charge. Marduk hit the wall and momentarily saw stars. He shook his head to clear it, and when he came back to his senses, Christie was battering him with punches, forearms, kicks, everything she could to try to take him out.

    Instead of opting for finesse, he just plowed straight through her assault, catching her with a hook to the jaw. It staggered her back, which was just enough of an opening for Marduk to absolutely demolish her with a spear. His shoulder caught Christie in her hard ab muscles, making her choke with the impact. She landed on her back with Marduk on top of her. He grabbed a hold of her long russet hair, and began to viciously punch her in the face. He eventually split her open just over her right eye, and had left a huge bruise under her left. Xiaoyu abandoned all premise of this being a tag match, the only thing in her mind being to help her friend. She leaped onto Marduk's back and held on. Marduk stopped his assault and groped around behind his head in an attempt to dislodge Xiaoyu. Xiaoyu, for her part, didn't have much of a plan once she found herself on his back, and began trying to claw at his eyes. He managed to grab her by the hair, and bucking forward suddenly, he threw her over his shoulder forward. She screeched in surprise, and then her body smacked into the floor. "Oof!" she grunted. She attempted to stand up but was met with a hook. She collapsed to her knees. He grinned, and took a step back, then launched a kneelift into her face that actually knocked her into the air a little and down onto her back.

    Marduk looked down at Christie and Xiaoyu. "Alright, I see I underestimated yous a little. I give credit where its due, you're good fighters. But I also gots a little problem with anger, and I'm fixing to solve that problem right now."

    He mimicked one of King's signature "cut throat" taunts, and then grabbed Christie by the hair. With all the finesse of a bull elephant, he hauled her to her feet. She screamed out at having her hair pulled. He swung a sledgehammer punch to her stomach, surprised at just how much resistance her abs could put up, but not surprised that he could overcome them. She exhaled forcefully with a strained "oof" sound and doubled over. He then flipped her up and threw her hard to the floor in a powerbomb. Her back and skull met the ground with a simultaneous splat and crack sound. Christie lay on the ground sprawled out. He turned his attention to Xiaoyu, who was getting up. Xiaoyu made a desperate attack from her crouched stance, hitting him with a quick trio of windmill strikes he wasn't prepared for. She followed it up with a Dragon Kick, a move she had seen Law perform and liked. It caught him under the jaw and stunned him for a moment. She spun around and threw a windmill style kick, but he had not been stunned long enough. He caught her kick and then plowed her over with a huge clothesline. He picked her up by the hair and stood her up. Intending to send King a message with the wrestling moves he was performing, he put an arm around Xiaoyu's shoulders facing her, put her arm over his, and then lifted her up and slammed her in a clothesline press. Xiaoyu cried out in pain and squirmed. "Aah, no! Please! Don't do this!" Everything she had feared would happen was beginning to be realized. Marduk, seeing red with anger, picked her up by the hair again, and then palmed her throat. With one hand, he picked her off her feet and choke slammed her to the floor. She hit hard and rolled onto her side, panting and heaving.

    "Ughhh... unhh.. no... urgh..."

    But Marduk would not be persuaded to relent so easily. "Nah, nah, you ain't done. You done when I say you's done!" He scraped Xiaoyu up off the floor like a pancake. He put her stomach first over his shoulder and took five running steps. Xiaoyu closed her eyes and braced for impact. He flipped her over, and crunched her with a powerslam. Xiaoyu hit with a splat and lay prone on the floor.

    Turning back to Christie, he decided she was in need of a stretch. He took hold of her right ankle, rolled her over, and then put her in a single leg boston crab. Christie screamed out in agony and tapped out a submission, but the match had been thrown out when Xiaoyu interjected herself, and this was just a mugging now. He reared back harder on her leg. She thought she could feel her leg muscles tearing. The pain was nearly literally blinding, as she found it hard to see through the mix of tears and the blood running from the cut above her eye. Twisting, he crossed his arms over her face and reared back in an STF. This put pressure on her knee, back and neck simultaneously. Christie tried to tap out a submission again, but Marduk was having none of it. He held her there for what seemed to her like an eternity. Finally he relented, and Christie didn't know what part of her body hurt worse. She could swear even her hair hurt.

    Marduk looked back at Xiaoyu, who had not moved a muscle since the powerslam. She was unconscious. Christie wasn't, so he decided to have a little more fun. He angrily yanked her to a standing position, which he almost had to hold her in. He doubled her over again with another nasty hammer to the stomach. Again the pleasurable sensation of overcoming her body's defenses went through his arm as he drove the wind out of her. Christie spit bright red blood. Internal injuries were beginning to occur. He had succeeded in battering her hard stomach to the point that the muscles would yield to nearly any impact. He could poke her with a finger, and she would react with pain. Christie dropped to her knees, breathing through her mouth. He put his arms around her waist again. She hoped it wasn't a powerbomb again, but when she figured out what it was, she wished it were. Marduk picked her up. She was upside down, and then suddenly he dropped her in a sitout piledriver. Her neck crunched, discs in her neck scraping against each other with a horrible grinding sound. Christie was momentarily paralyzed as her spine compressed and relaxed, like a spring. The impact of her head left a small splatter of blood from the wound above her eye. Christie lay on the ground on her back, legs twisted to the side.

    Marduk checked on Xiaoyu again. She was beginning to come to. Figuring Christie wasn't going anywhere, he turned his viciousness to Xiaoyu. The powerslam had taken her 15 feet away from Christie, who would have to cover that distance to help her, assuming she could move. Which at this point, was not likely. He grabbed her by her pigtails. "Ow, ow, ow" she said as Marduk picked her back up. He doubled Xiaoyu over the same way he had done to Christie, but Xiaoyu wasn't as much fun, as she wasn't as conditioned as Christie. He still enjoyed the feeling of wind escaping lungs, rendering his victim unable to even use their voice. He hooked her in a front headlock, and then fell backwards, ramming her face into the floor with a DDT. Xiaoyu landed with a thud and did not move. The DDT split her forehead open, and she started to bleed a small puddle on the floor. Her eyes were open, but glazed over, with a faraway look.

    He proceeded to flip her over, and began to punch the wound open a little more. Blood flowed more freely. He used her pigtails as a handle as he opened the wound more with his other hand. After a few technical-not-brutish punches, he had opened the wound on her head. Blood began to run down her face and plaster her hair to her head. She was conscious but clearly out of it.

    Marduk turned back to Christie and picked her up in his arms. He carried her over to Xiaoyu and deposited her on the floor like a hefty sack. She grunted as she met the floor.

    "Yous put up a good fight," Marduk growled, "but is time to end this." He palmed them by the throat, and then picked them up into standing positions. He began to squeeze them both in a straight up hand-on-the-throat choke hold, nothing fancy. Their eyes bulged and they flailed weakly, but they were both so badly beaten there was nothing they could do. They quickly passed out in the choke hold. To add insult, he picked up both unconscious women and choke slammed them. Their bodies smashed into the floor like a human demolition derby. Xiaoyu was spread eagled with her head off to the left, and Christie's momentum had rolled her facedown, head buried in her arms. Blood covered the faces of both women, and Christie's head wound had dripped blood all over her arms and chest.

    Marduk yelled out "King! I'm coming for you next! Let these two be an example!" Xiaoyu and Christie were both stretchered out of the arena.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 25, 2011
  4. blitzrunner

    blitzrunner Guest

    Awesome Christmas Present if I do say so myself! I'm assuming this is taking place in pre-tekken 6 era, as that Marduk still has a hatred King!

    Love seeing the big guy pummel the hell out of the lil girls! I can really imagine both of Xiaoyu and Christie's shrugs and screams from the game when reading this! I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Tekken 4 character art for Marduk (where they made sketches about him beating up characters), and the two images of him beating up Xiaoyu and Christie come up to my mind when reading this!

    Awesome fanfic! neither of the two girls stood a chance against Marduk, and Xiaoyu's terrified reaction is pretty much EXACTLY the reason I love using him to beat her up in the game =)

    Thanks again Raden, and Merry Christmas to you too dude!

    ---------- Post added 12-25-2011 at 12:36 PM ---------- Previous post was 12-24-2011 at 09:38 PM ----------

    So I just back from some x-mas schtuff.. and I gotta say... I really liked how you mentioned Marduk's Temper and how he got in trouble with it in the first place... background like that makes grinn quite a bit =)
     
  5. TheCrimsonRisk

    TheCrimsonRisk Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Just adding to what blitzrunner has said, I thought you did a great job with the characterization. The women were clearly weaker, but did not act timid, which is not a trait I look for in ryona. Their confidence made their destruction even better. Really nice descriptions of the kind of damage Marduk's moves did to their sexy bodies. Tekken is one of those games where the moves can seem truly brutal and I feel like you did the source material justice.

    And you put an STF in there! So good. STFs are awesome! I'm glad it was on Christie too. She seems like an underrated ryona candidate. Strong, beautiful, graceful...ripe for a pounding. Muwahahahaha...er...I liked it.
     
  6. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Xiaoyu was fairly brave until things started going south, and then, well... :p
     
  7. KevinFace

    KevinFace Potential Patron Ryonani Teamster

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    See, you must do writing on a regular basis and you apparently pay a lot of attention to character traits.
    It's also apparent that you spent a lot of time on this.
     
  8. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Thank you, but I actually did not. I literally made it up as I went and knocked it off in an hour and a half. I am just glad my writing is good enough to make people think that ;)

    I start with a basic idea of what I want and just connect the dots as I go. Maybe it just comes naturally or something, since I can't explain it very well otherwise.
     
  9. Ginazi

    Ginazi Avid Affiliate Ryonani Teamster

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    A very good piece. I liked it all the more because there are so few stories with men beating up women. I second what other commentators have written. Also, I think that Marduk's way of speaking (and thinking!) is adorable ;).
     
  10. Raden

    Raden Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

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    Well he isn't portrayed as the brightest of guys, so I tried to carry that over in his speaking, and the way he tried to fight at first, eventually resorting to what he knows: being a brute.

    Glad you liked it, I thought you might. :)