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Any requests? I have nothing but time and Ill give it my best

Discussion in 'Dialogue' started by Snuffalupagus, Aug 20, 2013.

  1. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    Any dialogue requests? If so just place them here and I will get to work asap on them. Granted If I can do them. Here is a example of one dialogue I wrote for @Campfire.



    *note

    Special thanks in advance to @Pim_gd for checking and fixing my dialogue. He is the man.
     

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  2. Heron

    Heron Potential Patron

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    One each for both Lilly and Hanako from Katawa Shoujo? I don't have any particular scenario in mind, mind you.
     
  3. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    Any references? In particular? Would you prefer they like it? Or are they not exactly thrilled about it? Your preference? And is there a particular male in mind?
     
  4. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    and


    @Heron- Ok so I have never heard of Katawa Shoujo. I looked into it briefly and I gathered Lilly is blind and a very posh kind of woman. Very "Lady like" and Hanako is shy, reserved, traumatized, possibly aggressive if provoked and has scars due to a fire. So I wrote Lilly as being more positive and receptive in the BJ. With Hanako I took her character with more of a "please stop, i don't want to do this" kind of attitude. Anyway I hope you enjoy them. If you want a revision of something just let me know!


    Ill also take this time to write in what all Anime and games I am familiar with

    Naruto/ naruto shippuden/ Full metal alchemist/ FMA brotherhood/ Sword art online/ Bleach/ dragon ball and dragon ball z/ Final fantasy 7,8,9,10, and 13/ The main metal gear solid games/ rurouni kenshin/ please teacher/ Code Geass and R2/ most gundams/inyuasha and many many more.

    If you have a request and I am unfamiliar with the series or game, just give me a little reference as to what is their back story or a wiki link or something. Also what kind of mood you want the girl to be written with. Look forward to writing up more dialogues. This is the way I can give to the community. ;D So please don't hesitate to ask!
     

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  5. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    Snuffle you said that you don't know much about making dialogues yet, so here's...
    How to improve the quality of your dialogue when you're done writing the lines for it:
    1: Haul it through the DialogueChecker. (See my signature for link, it's what I used to check your last dialogue) Fix any issues that pop up until no more issues pop up.
    2: Then haul it through a spell checker with grammatical checks and just keep going till you're at the bottom.
    3: Run the final work in SDT, see if you get any errors, and if so, fix em.
    4: If you've made any changes to your dialogue since the start of step 1, go back to the start of step 1 with your dialogue.
     
  6. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    Did you check the last two I wrote by chance? I ran it through your "Dialogue checker" and it went through clean. I also used my computers spell check. I did not see any errors in SDT its self when I ran it through. If you checked it and ran it through Pim-Gd would you let me know if you found any errors?
     
  7. Crusader41821

    Crusader41821 Potential Patron

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    how about:
    Crazy younger sister who 'hears' the voice of god when she has cock in her mouth.

    Reference:
    I think i read an erotic story about 3-4 years ago that this was a scenario. I have no idea where that story was or what it was called. so really it just has been a i'm lying in bed jerk off fantasy.
     
  8. zzaapp002

    zzaapp002 Club Regular

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    Hmm, I also like these series so bring on the dialogues!

    Ideas that might spark your interest:

    FF10 -
    1) Lulu reluctantly convincing Tidus to save the world
    2) Rikku aggressively seducing Tidus since she is jealous of Yuna
    3) Rikku timidly doing her best to learn SDT from Auron so she can be better for Wakka

    FF13 -
    1) Sarah earnestly (and then aggressively) proving that she's just as grown up as her Lightning
    2) Lightning, Sarah or Yeul (or all three!) trying to convince Caius to not destroy the world by "dispersing his darkness" SDT-style.

    Code Geass -
    http://codegeass.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Characters
    1) Kallen insecurely (or aggressively) trying to seduce Zero away from CC
    2) Kallen, CC, Shirley and Milly fighting over Lelouch at a school festival
    3) Nunnally (earnestly), Euphemia (timidly) & Cornelia (aggressively) convincing Lelouch to re-join his family

    SAO -
    1) Lyfa timidly seducing Kirito in Alfheim. Then she goes all aggressive when she realizes who he is.
    2) Multiple-Girls going after Kirito in game to negotiate the treaty between the clans. (Queen Sakuya and the Cat Elf whose name I forgot. She is on the left in the below pic. Sakuya is in the middle).
    [​IMG]

    FMA or FMA Brotherhood -
    1) Winry convincing Al he's still a man. (Hey she likes metal, right?)
    2) Lust seducing Ed for "fluids" to make Philosopher Stones. (They keep her alive, right?)
    3) Rose welcoming Ed to Liore.

    Hmm, that's all for now. I'll post some ideas for Gundam 00, The World God Only Knows, Fate Stay Night or Fate Zero later. Or, hey, how about some Justice League "Auditions"?
     
  9. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    Wow. Got some orders there. Sounds fun. Ill get started and hopefully have a few at least up within the next few days. :)


    Snuff
     
  10. Pim_gd

    Pim_gd Swell Supporter

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    I downloaded them once, looked through them and noted issues with spelling/grammar.
    Seeing how you can't seem to find any errors...
    I'm using microsoft word 2007.

    Lilly Satou
    Line 4: "Im no expert" -> "I'm no expert", "but im sure" -> "but I'm sure", "it doesnt belong" -> "it doesn't belong"
    Line 5: "Why dont you" -> "Why don't you"
    Line 7: "Im ready" -> "I'm ready"
    Line 8: "Dont hold back" -> "Don't hold back", "you want to do. " -> "you want to do." (space at line end)
    Line 10: "Dont hold back" -> "Don't hold back", "because im blind" -> "because I'm blind", "Lets get started!" -> "Let's get started!"
    Line 11: "be suprised what" -> "be surprised what", "after im through" -> "after I'm through", "with you. " -> "with you." (space at line end)
    Line 14: "your so forceful" -> "you're so forceful"

    At this point, I don't feel like finding the rest. 14 mistakes in 14 lines tells me there's gonna be a ratio of 1 (mistakes to lines),
    and I don't feel like searching 157 errors in one dialogue and 155 in the other.

    Look for and fix instances of "dont" and "im".
    Then try to use things like Word, chrome (it has built-in spell checker! Be sure to set it to English), openoffice, some online spell checker... to further fix things.
    Then call me. I'm not really willing to check a dialogue more than once or twice because it will blind me for any mistakes you've made, and then I wouldn't be able to notify you of them - editing blindness is what I would call this, but I can't seem to find a wiki article that agrees with me. This page (http://academicpanhandling.com/2012/03/13/editing-blindness/) does seem to understand what I'm talking about, though.

    Basically: I'll check your dialogues once you've fixed most obvious mistakes. Consider me only willing enough to catch about 10-25 errors in a dialogue, depending on how they differ and what type they are. In their current state, this makes me quit checking after the first, say, 14 lines. The cleaner your dialogue is, the more use you'll get out of me checking your dialogue - most typo's will be highlighted by even the most basic spellchecker, but as a dialogue becomes cleaner, I'd be focusing more on misplaced line-attributes ("Let me go!" with held false, or him/her mix ups), proper word usage ("Your cock is so warm!" - try hot instead) and other things that you can't use a simple tool for.

    Ah, I suppose it's only fair for me to look at the other dialogue, to see if that has less issues...
    Hanako Ikezawa
    Line 6: "Dont ask me", "Im begging you"
    Line 8: "I cant do"
    Line 9: "Im supposed to"
    Line 10: "im not doing"
    Line 13: "Dont ask this"
    Line 15: "I cant do", "Im about to"
    Line 16: "I cant", "is to traumatic" (it's too traumatic, in case you don't get this one)
    Line 18: "IT WONT GO"
    Same thing here. "im", "dont", "cant", "wont"... fix that type of mistake and I'll check your dialogues again.
    Plus, once the grammatical mistakes are out, it's possible to start looking at a dialogue on a higher level, which teaches you things about how to write a dialogue (think topics like pacing and dialogue structure).
     
  11. AaRL

    AaRL Swell Supporter

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    I hope you know Ive done a Lulu, Rikku and Lightning themed dialogues.
    1. Rikku and a Tidus implied character
    2. Lulu and a "star blitzball player" (Not tidus)
    3. Lightning and Hope during the night they spend at his fathers house.

    Though it might be time to revamp or perhaps make a whole new one FF themed. Currently have three different ones all at different stages along the line. Have some time later this week to perhaps get somethings done.
     
  12. JDogG74

    JDogG74 Potential Patron

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    I have a simple request Amy rose sucking off sonic/tails or just a normal person.
     
  13. zzaapp002

    zzaapp002 Club Regular

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    @ snuffle - Looking forward to your work.

    @ AaRL - Thanks! I do like your work. Many of them are in my rotation!
     
  14. EnigmaTSvirus

    EnigmaTSvirus Potential Patron

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    May I request a Soul Calibur 5 dailogue? Featuring Tira and Pyrrha, with Tira as a "Futa-him" and Pyrrha sucking off Tira?
     
  15. beeboy29

    beeboy29 Potential Patron

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    Could you do a Tsunade x Mei Terumi (Naruto Shippuden) dialogue, with Tsunade as the futa-him and Mei sucking? Tsunade being somewhat demanding and Mei as kind of a slut.
    Likewise with Hinata x Sakura (Naruto Shippuden(, Sakura as the futa-him and Hinata sucking? Hinata is very shy. Sakura is somewhat of a bitch.
     
  16. Vilux

    Vilux Potential Patron

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    Any chance of a Chichi with Gohan/Goten, Bulma with Trunks or Masaki with Ichigo? I find the mom - son stuff very erotic :)

    for reference.. there are some good stories on literotica.com by JDecker ("The Gentlest Mother" in particular).

    Thanks!
     
  17. BuckWild

    BuckWild Casual Client

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    You should try to enable grammar checks if it didn't find contractions. Maybe you have a faulty spell checker, because I know of no spell checker that considers contractions without apostrophes as words.
     
  18. Snuffalupagus

    Snuffalupagus Potential Patron

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    Ok. Sorry guys. I've been away for a few days. Just started up a new job and was getting ready to play a rock show with the band I am in. I'll start working on these ASAP. Cheers.

    I'll also take a look into getting a more accurate spell checker.
     
  19. Shadowers1

    Shadowers1 Potential Patron

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    can you do a ruby and yang dialogue from RWBY? preferably with them enjoying it
     
  20. mechajack

    mechajack Potential Patron

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    I actually had an idear for a dialouge for a long time after I saw this picture
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BpSqR3yg5xg/TvDwdqAGlPI/AAAAAAAAAbQ/FSyMqe8LOvo/s1600/1.jpg
    If you didn´t notice it Alice is actually trying to get a guards gun while sucking him off. Could you maybe write a simular dialouge but instead of Alice could you make it about Jill Valentine. It would also be great if you could show the thoughts of the guard and Jill every now and then. Like for example she would say things like this to distract him from her hand:
    "Come on baby look into my eyes."
    While thinking: "I think he should be the most distracted right before he cums. Thats when I`m going to act. But I´m gone have to tease him much more before that just to be sure."

    And the guard would first be supicous but let his guard down more and more over the time and think things like:"Oh man I think I´m just going to cum from the way she is looking at me"

    I actually even came up with a breakground for the scenario.
    I was thinking about something like this. Jill was attacked by a zombie while trying to break into a Umbrealla Facility. Lukely she was saved by a guard. The guard himself is actually a good guy, he simply doesn´t know about all the evil things umbrella has done and believes that umbrella is actually trying to help mankind. After the attack Jill is locked into a room, while the guard is thinking about what he should do with her. He defenetly doesn´t want to kill her but also thinks that she is some kind of spy from another company that is trying to steal umbrellas secrets and mistrusts her because of that.


    I would also be awesome if you could change his dialouge over the curse of the game. He first should be very distrustful but get more and more worked up and desperate the longer the dialouge goes. You could show this by giving him unfinished sentences.

    Anyway thanks for your time