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A story of Petal

Discussion in 'Fiction' started by NNin, Mar 24, 2013.

  1. NNin

    NNin Swell Supporter Ryonani Teamster

    Dec 1, 2010
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    This is the fiction thread of my original character, Petal.

    I think fiction is another good way to show her abilities and personality so I made this. Hope you like it!

    Her first opponent is Amethyst. cb0363's entry character for Ryonani's girl contest.

    1.Night Infiltration

    Amethyst’s sharp kick hits the gun and sends it flying away from the guard’s hand before she can shoot a single bullet from it. Amethyst follows with another kick to her opponent's mid-section, but the guard jumps back and dodges the attack and gains some distance. Amethyst then stops her assault as she sees the guard draw a Chinese sword from her holster’s side. The blade looks sharp, so she needs to be careful.

    This guard, however, is unlike the guards Amethyst has faced tonight. She is a Chinese woman, around Amethyst’s age, in semi-revealing short qipao, wearing black thigh-high socks and red high heels. “Very different from those typical mafia guards in suits…” The spy thought to herself.

    “Excuse me, miss. But could you tell me who you are?” The guard in red spoke, while she and Amethyst were looking for an opportunity to strike. “But whoever you are, you need to have permission before you can copy files from my employee’s laptop.” The guard continued to speak, briefly looking at a laptop on the desk behind Amethyst.

    “Sorry, I can’t tell you.” Amethyst responded “By the way, nice DRESS!” and she started her assault again. She rushed in, hoping to enter a close enough range to hinder the sword’s movement.

    “Thank…” the guard answered with a word, slashing in a horizon arc that stopped Amethyst’s advance “YOU!” then she followed with a sword thrust.


    The guard’s movements are fast and can’t be underestimated. But Amethyst is still able to dodge the thrust. The guard continues her sword attack with slashes, low and high, but can’t hit her target. And at the middle of another slashing, Amethyst kicks, aiming her right foot at the sword’s guard. Upon impact, Amethyst grips tight the sword’s guard with her great toe and second toe, before she uses her foot to toss the sword away from the guard’s hand. Amethyst also uses the same foot to kick the Chinese guard’s face again. The guard is hit and forced to step back, and Amethyst takes a chance to follow confidently, with her hand-to-hand skills. However, her straight punch meets with a parry hand of the guard, her following fist also meets the same, her knee strike is also blocked by the opponent’s knee, before Amethyst moves her face to dodge a retaliated fist, and uses her hand to parry following fist to the chest.

    The two women struggle, parry and block each other’s attacks for a few moves. Look like the Chinese guard knows that she can’t hold back against this spy, who could disarm 2 weapons from her. Amethyst too, realizes that this guard is a skilled combatant and as quick as her. But deep inside, Amethyst is enjoying this fight. For someone who likes risky life, this mission is boring for her. She silently dispatched those triad guards outside, encountered three in direct combat and beat them without a single sweat. But this single female guard brought her a challenge.

    It isn't a challenge she can’t win, anyway. Though they had hit each other and Amethyst got one punch to her shoulder, she landed one body blow, one palm strike to the chest and a fist to the face. All attacks are quite hard. So Amethyst has the advantage. But the spy is also impressed by the guard’s endurance, those attacks can’t weaken her opponent as much as she thought, before the guard punches her back in the chest. However, Amethyst counters with a punch to the guard’s face again. “Ahh!” the guard yelled, and Amethyst notices she bruised the opponent’s lip. “At least she’s not invincible after all.” the spy told herself after she stumbled back a bit and taking a breath. The two are disengaged now.

    “You… are good.” the Chinese guard started to speak again, wiping blood from her lip “Your skills make me interested in recruiting you.”

    “….. Sorry, reject.” Amethyst idled for a seconds before she answered along with a kick to the side. She knew why the guard started to chat, to buy time. Amethyst can tell how much trouble will happen if other guards notice her infiltration or join this fight. And Amethyst can’t escape before she confirms that all required files are copied or she must leave without her mini-drive and that means failure of the mission. She must finish this guard before that.

    The guard steps back to barely dodge the kick but Amethyst rushes in close with steps and fists, hoping to engage with her superior skills in close combat. However, the guard disengages and that makes Amethyst sure about her idea of buying time. Amethyst decides to increase her pace to catch the guard and she succeeds in forcing the guard to block her fast straight punch. But before she can follow, the guard returns with a front right roundhouse that Amethyst needs to leans her body back to dodge. Amethyst then predicts the next movement of the guard: she’s performing a spin kick to the side with her another leg. Seeing it coming , the spy ducks low and sweep kicks, hoping to counter the move and knock her enemy down. But the guard stops her kick and drops her body to the opposite of the sweep, doing a one hand cartwheel. When the guard lands, she is behind the spy.

    Amethyst, however, quickly turns herself to face the guard and is met with an incoming low snap kick. But she blocks the attack and raises herself at the same time, to defend a follow attack. The guard is about to throw a right punch that Amethyst can predict from shoulder’s movement of the guard and prepare to counter. But she missed again, it’s not a punch. The guard quickly swings her right braid like a whip and hit Amethyst’s eyes. Distracted and blinded for a second, Amethyst feels something hard hit her right side. Before she can react, another hit is made to her right knee, destroying her balance. And just when she can see, Amethyst got a sharp kick that impacted hard under her right ear.


    “Arghh!!” Amethyst sent out her first sound of pain. And she instinctively steps back to prevent another hit but not before the red guard punches her in the mid-section. Amethyst stumbles back while the guard rushes in and continues her assault with a one-two punch, aiming at the face. Amethyst can parry the first but not the latter. She then barely dodges a shin kick but not the following knee strike to the belly.

    Amethyst feels her opponent’s attacks are quicker. Did the guard can catch up with her speed? No, it’s because those kicks landed hard, especially the last one that dazed her. How could she show that opening? Maybe because she wanted to end the fight fast and that made her too focused on the offensive. Did the guard pretended to buy time to lead her into this?

    Amethyst’s confused thoughts are erased by a punch to her jaw. The guard, too, is aggressive and wants to end the fight now. “I must re-focus on the fight!” the spy thought, before getting kicked in the belly and slammed into a nearby desk.

    “It’s over!” the Chinese guard shouted before she launches a straight fist, aiming at Amethyst’s solar plexus. But Amethyst takes the move in a second. She counters the guard’s move with a similar attack.

    However, the guard’s fist missed and Amethyst’s fist dives deeply in the opponent’s solar plexus. The guard’s eyes expressed surprise, her mouth was opened but only air was sent out from it. The Chinese woman is stunned by the blow.

    Knowing this is her chance, Amethyst backfists the guard with her remaining force and makes the guard spin around, showing her exposed back to the spy. Amethyst then jumps and wraps her legs around the thighs of her enemy, using her arms to hold the guard tight in sleeper hold. Before she leans backward to land on her back bringing the target with her.


    The guard tries to escape but the chokehold is tight and preventing her from regaining the breath she lost from that hard blow. The air in her lung is burnt away quick along with her remaining strength. Every passing second means a slimmer chance to escape. The struggle is silent, as the guard can’t make any sound from her burning chest….

    Amethyst feels that the struggle is less and less. After a few minutes, the guard in red stays still. Amethyst decides to release and when she sees her unconscious opponent, she feels relief. Though she wants to finish this guard, Amethyst instead moves as quickly as she can now to the laptop. Another sign of relief shows on her face after she saw all required files are copied. But at the moment she retrieved her mini-drive, she hears footsteps coming. She jumps off the nearby window, leaving the still body of the Chinese guard in the room…

    (Bigger pics are in attachments below)

    Attached Files:

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2013
  2. TheCrimsonRisk

    TheCrimsonRisk Club Regular Ryonani Teamster

    Jun 10, 2010
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    Great story and pics, NNin! Your friend is such a talented artist. The chokehold looks exquisite, though I'll be honest the second picture is my favourite because I want to see that cocky Amethyst get what's coming to her >:) Also, too bad she couldn't stick around to finish the guard...hee hee hee

    I'm glad you have such a passion for your creation. Looking forward to more stuff in the future.
  3. cb0363

    cb0363 Guest

    Congrats Nnin ! I'm really happy to see my character in your story and I like how you use her :) And I like how your friend drew her :)
    You can do as many stuff you want with her :)

    Haha, I'd like too :P
  4. NNin

    NNin Swell Supporter Ryonani Teamster

    Dec 1, 2010
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    Glad you like the story and arts. I will find a time to make more stuffs too.

    As not ryona artist, she may need some reference pics first. Like chokehold pic used BTOOOM! scene as an example. But she is good at the works, indeed.

    Next time she will be her updated version.
  5. CuriousHyperGamer

    CuriousHyperGamer Vivacious Visitor

    Mar 7, 2010
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  6. Kargan3033

    Kargan3033 Swell Supporter

    Aug 10, 2015
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    Nice work NNin even though this was a short story the flow of the story was flawless, you friend does some fine artwork, the characters are expressive and will built(for the lack of a better term)

    I look forward to reading more of Petal's adventures/misadventures